Page 89 of That Secret Something

“I thought I might find you out here.” Lily’s voice sounded behind me, making me jump.

I turned to her as she stumbled forward, the hem of her dress balled up in her hands. I reached out and steadied her, and she laughed.

“I think that last gin might have pushed me over the edge. I can’t stop tripping over this dress.”

“You look beautiful, though,” I said.

“Thanks. So do you.” She smiled before joining me, swaying and gripping the railing. Cheers and singing filtered in from the hall. A few beats passed before she spoke again. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I shook my head and looked down at my feet. “I don’t want to take anything away from your big—”

“Jess. Nothing’s taking away from anything. I’m having the bes–s–t–s time,” she slurred. “Talk to me. Please?”

Alcohol and unease swirled my stomach in tandem. I sucked in a deep breath, catching the scent of a strawberry vape, and cast my gaze out beyond the water. Birds were cawing and splashing somewhere in the distance, their bodies just blurred silhouettes.

Talking to Lily about Rebecca and me still felt unnatural, even with the amount of alcohol flowing through our systems. I searched for the words, pushing the nauseous feeling out into the darkness and far away. “I’m happy for Rebecca, I am. I’m just…” My gaze moved across the water, failing to find the words.

“Scared?” Lily guessed.

I nodded. “We’ve finally got to a place where we can be together, and now…all of that is uncertain again. I don’t want to lose her…but I don’t know if I can do long distance either. It’s early days with us; I don’t want to hold her back. But what if we try, and she finds someone else? I don’t have enough experience in this to know what to do.”

“You love her, don’t you?”

I blinked, a little caught off guard by her directness. “Yes, of course, I do.”

“Then make it work. Don’t go looking for reasons why it won’t, focus–s–s on the reasons why it will. Sometimes your head is your own worst enemy, Jess. Listen to your heart.”

I let her words sink in. “Wow. That last gin has turned you into some sort of relationship guru.”

“And made me pee like a horse too.” She laughed. “Have you spoken to her about it yet?”

“No, not yet.”

“Well, now’s your chance.”

I followed her gaze to the gorgeous brunette walking towards us with the camera bouncing around her neck. Her bubbliness from earlier had dissipated, though, and I knew what was coming before she even opened her mouth.

“Jess, can we talk?”

The four worst words in the English language.

Lily sucked in a big breath. “Right. Well, I’ll jus–s–st leave you both to it. Come find me for a dance after, Jess. I’ll be the one in the big white dress. Ha!” She scooped the material up into her arms and headed inside, shooing the straggling vaping guests in with her. It was unnecessary but a very cute gesture.

Flashbacks of Rebecca in the storage room jumped into my mind’s eye. Unfortunately, that probably wasn’t what Lily had had in mind when she’d given us some privacy—though it would be welcome. I already missed Rebecca’s touch, and it’d only been a couple of hours.

Oh god. What if Rebecca is going to break up with me?

Please, not here. I mean, preferably not ever.

She placed her hands on my arms, and I pulled out of my panic to look at her.

“I’m sorry for not coming to speak to you about this immediately, but Aunty Loren wanted me to record her entire dance routine… Apparently she wants to apply for next year’s Britain’s Got Talent.” She shook her head. “Anyway, the last thing I want is this news to ruin our night. It’s been pretty amazing so far.” The corners of her mouth turned upwards, and an electric zing ran through my body, thinking about those damn lips.

Those kisses were always trouble.

Rebecca brushed her thumb across my lips, reading my very thoughts. Heat coiled in my stomach at the touch. But we needed to focus. This was important.

I kissed her palm and then held her hand in mine. “Rebecca, I don’t want to put a damper on your achievement. I’m really proud of you.” I hated how frail my voice sounded. I cleared my throat, but it didn’t help. “But London…”

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