Page 108 of Marrying the Nanny

“I know. I know.” He gathered her up, tried to keep her together when she was falling apart. Of course she was. He was, too, but he was far better at compartmentalizing. He wasn’t even letting himself contemplate losing Storm. One thing at a time. Right now, he needed to win back the woman he loved.

“Listen,” he said. “I won’t give her up without a fight. I love her too much to let her go.” Saying the words made his heart feel jagged, like a balloon that had burst into pieces. “Same as I love you too much to let you go. I need you, Em. I need you at my side to help me through this. Please stop crying.”

*

The world halted on its axis. She wanted to believe him. So badly. But, “Are you saying that because you think I’ll leave and they won’t give her to you?”

“No. No.” His arms tightened around her, crushing her to his chest as he balanced her across his thighs.

The hard arms around her were both hurtful and secure. Not physically, but the way he held her so tight made it impossible for her to hide how much he affected her. He had to feel how badly she was shaking. How she had melted into him out of dire need for comfort.

“I fooled myself into believing in love once, Reid. I won’t do it again. I don’t want to believe in something that isn’t real.”

“This is real. I know why you’re skeptical and you have a right to be, but you have to stop thinking you’re not lovable, Em. You’re actually very easy to love. Too easy. I didn’t even know it was happening, it was that easy.”

She could feel his heart slamming into her shoulder, but she shook her head, well aware of her faults. “I’m demanding. I hold people to impossible standards. I’m overly sensitive and expect too much.”

“Emma.” He tucked his chin, tilting his brow so it nearly touched hers. “I know what demanding and impossible looks like. I thought that’s what love is supposed to look like. That’s why I was so sure I didn’t want to go there with you.” His words stretched her taut inside, making the skin on her heart so thin, she thought it would tear. “We both have to forget what we’ve been taught because this is special. You are special.”

She touched his cheek. Closed her eyes briefly because this was too close to the perfection she had sworn she would no longer reach for. Hope was tugging at her, urging her to risk one more time. She countered it by arguing, “I’m not special. I’m work.”

“Every marriage takes work. We’re both going to have our moments. I’m really hoping you’ll forgive me for mine that day in my office. But I promise you right now I will always do whatever I can to make things right between us. You’re worth it. Please believe that.”

Her mouth wobbled. “I don’t think you realize how much love is in me. I don’t want to smother you with it or scare you off when you realize it just doesn’t end.” Her heart seesawed in her chest, but she made herself be as honest as she could possibly be. “I don’t want things to be unequal between us, either. It will destroy me if I love you way more than you could ever love me.”

“I don’t think you realize how quickly and deeply you have embedded yourself in my heart.” He squeezed her, adjusting her on his lap, then took a shaky breath. “When Trystan told me you had left that day because of the rule, my first thought was that we’d have to get another nanny, but I didn’t want anyone else. You’re the woman I want in my house. In my life. Looking after my kid sister and me. I don’t let people in, Em, but there you were, already someone I needed. You. Not for Storm. For me.”

She searched his expression, breath backing up in her lungs. “What if we don’t have her? What do we have then?”

His expression tightened. “I’m not giving her up. You and I will fight as long as it takes to win. But listen.” He swallowed, looking deep into her eyes. “No matter what happens in this life, you and I are in this together. We have each other. Understand?”

She had to bite her lip to keep it from wobbling. “You really mean that?”

“I do.” He smoothed her hair away from her wet eyes, kissed her tear-flavored lips. “Hurting you feels like cutting out my own heart with a rusty blade so I’m going to try not to do that again.” He grazed the backs of his fingers along the edge of her wet jaw. “Do you think you can see your way clear to telling me you love me? I’ve been wanting to hear it again.”

“I do. I love you so much. I think it started the day you told my brother to kick rocks.”

He chuckled and she kissed his smile. She hugged him and moved her hands across his bare back while he got beneath her shirt and caressed her skin, both of them soothing and shoring up the other. He felt so right against her. Tender and loving as he filled the dry well inside her to overflowing.

“I really love you,” she whispered.

“I really love you, too.” His voice was so laden with it, her eyes stung.

“Can we go back, though?” she asked, not as starkly terrified, but still worried. “Can we tell Harpreet we’re not prepared to give her up?”

He nodded and they stood, but took another moment to hold each other, drawing breaths in synchronicity.

Emma set her head on his chest and squeezed her arms around his waist, humbled that he had let her inside his walls. His strength heartened her. She believed in him, in his ability to get what he wanted. More importantly, she began to believe in them.

*

They returned to find Trystan loading the dishwasher one-handed, Storm secured against his shoulder. Logan was washing the frying pan.

Reid kept Emma’s hand firmly grasped in his own. His analytical mind was racing, determined to achieve what he’d promised his wife he would give her—the daughter they already loved.

“Can I take her?” Emma took Storm and nuzzled her cheek.

Her love was so clear and pure, Reid’s heart nearly soared out of his chest, but he rode the wave rather than fighting it. This was what would get him through whatever battle they faced in keeping that baby. The ferocity of protective love he felt toward these two.

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