Page 48 of Matched with the Player

Kyle played the worse game of his career in Tampa two days later. Then, after a crappy couple of days back in Philadelphia, he’d played an even worse game against Ottawa to end the regular season. The Phantoms were headed to the playoffs, but he was playing like garbage.

Now, a week after he and Marissa had said goodbye, he fumed silently on the flight home from Ottawa. He jammed his headphones on his ears- the big-ass, noise cancelling kind- and cranked up the tunes, determined not to talk to anyone on the team’s late flight back to Philadelphia. He’d taken a seat in the last row, keeping his bag beside him to advertise that he didn’t want company.

The game hadn’t been as important since they’d already secured the playoff spot. But at this point, they were playing for higher seeding and the benefit of home ice advantage in the upcoming weeks. So the games still mattered. And Kyle had whiffed.

He’d missed a breakaway shot – no excuse of a slashing penalty this time. Missed a pass from Ax that was perfectly placed and should have been easily directed for a goal. His crap level of play was bringing down his brother, his coach, his whole team.

But the alternative had been to quit hockey? Marissa had him so turned around he couldn’t begin to know what had gone wrong there. She’d said that relationships – caring too much – messed with her perspective. He’d brushed off that comment at the time, not giving it much weight. But her refusal to see room for a compromise sure felt like a wrong-headed perspective to him. Why couldn’t they find some middle ground to her need to be with her mom and his desire to have her with him? He’d given ground by agreeing to make a commitment to her. What about her? Still, feeling “right” didn’t soothe the hole in his gut that had been burning ever since she’d left.

A shift in the seat beside him made him open his eyes and glare at whoever had intruded in his personal space. Ax. No surprise there. When had the Finn ever respected a boundary?

Pissed and in no mood to talk about it, Kyle kept his ear phones in place.

Of course, that just resulted in Axel yanking the things off, letting them drop down to Kyle’s neck.

“What gives?” Ax asked without prelude.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re playing like you have a boulder on your back and you’re sending off a vibe like you’ll kill the next teammate that asks you about it.” Axel glared, the U-shaped scar on his face an angry red line. “That girl you liked. The one who wore the wedding ring. Did she end up married after all?”

Cursing the bold and unapologetic nosiness of family, Kyle kept the music on so he could at least play the drum solo on his knees. Too bad it wasn’t the same with the music wafting up from earphones now ringing his neck.

“Marissa. And no, she’s not married. She just doesn’t want to be with me. End of story.”

“The end of the bullshit version, maybe. Why don’t you tell me the real one?”

A flight attendant came around with a meal. Seated on the aisle, Ax got trays for both of them while the younger guys tossed a beach ball around the seats up front.

Making Kyle feel about a hundred years old since he’d probably knock the thing into the next century if it came his way. He was in that kind of mood. Instead, he concentrated on his salmon, forking it down in record time.

“Okay, let me guess,” Axel said finally, when no information was forthcoming. “You hit a snag and trotted out the line about no relationships during the playoffs. She thought it was bogus and wanted a relationship, so she walked.”

“I would have been in better shape if I’d stuck to my guns about no relationships during the playoff push.” Maybe he could have simply seen her around town when the team played at home. Taken her out for dinner or back to his place.

Except she didn’t want any part of a half-ass commitment, and yet she wouldn’t compromise enough to really make a full blown relationship work.

“You wanted a relationship?” Ax asked, zeroing in on the heart of the matter in no time.

But then, they’d been friends since they were old enough to date. They’d both faced the same problem of investing everything into a demanding sport, which didn’t leave much time for developing meaningful relationships. Just look at how many guys on the team struggled with divorce. It wasn’t a lifestyle many women would sign on for.

“I was open to it,” Kyle replied cautiously, knowing this interrogation wasn’t going to end until he told Ax enough to satisfy him.

“And she wasn’t?” Axel’s fork fell from his fingers as he peered over at Kyle. He lowered the volume that had still been blaring through the fallen headphones.

“She’s confused.” Kyle couldn’t begin to understand why or how things had gotten so muddled for her. “She’s got a mother with a traumatic brain injury and, when it comes down to it, she doesn’t want to be on the road all the time.”

“No surprise there, right?” Axel went back to shoveling in his food. “We’d be the same way with your mom.”

“Yeah, but -”

“What? You can work around that, can’t you? Spend summers there, fly back to Philly on the off days during the road trips. It’s not like you’re a rookie anymore. Coach would let you go.”

“Right. Except she didn’t even make that an option. She said she won’t give up her mom and I won’t give up hockey, so see you around. Don’t let the door hit you on your way out. That kind of thing.”

Axel kept eating. “You just let her walk away like it was over?”

“What are you, the effing team fortune teller now?” He shoved aside his tray. “How do you know what happened?”

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