Page 78 of Sins and Secrets

I nod. I know where she is coming from, and I have my own reservations about diving in headfirst right now. There is too much going on in both our lives to race into anything.

“How about we take it day by day, then?” I ask as the doors to the warehouse open and the cleaning crew walks in.

Billie moves away from me to keep up appearances, but the bright smile on her face sends warmth spreading through me. “Taking it day by day sounds nice to me.”

As she walks out of the warehouse, I finally feel some of the weight lifting from my shoulders.

Even though the logical side of my brain thinks that this is going to blow up in my face, I don’t care.

Billie has me thinking it’s better to take the risk and to find out than to spend the rest of my life regretting not loving her.

25

BILLIE

“Are you ready to tell me the story about the woman who you’re clearly pining for?” I ask as I follow the scent of steak and scallops.

Christian scoffs and hands me a plate of food. “I have never met a more annoying human being. You’d think that you would stop bothering me about this and move on with your life. There’s nothing interesting going on in mine.”

“Alessio has been at work all day and Papa is sleeping. I have nobody else to bother.” I take a seat at the kitchen island and dig into the food. “You know, you’re never going to be able to go back to Nashville. I’m going to miss your cooking.”

Christian laughs. “I have people waiting for me back home and a cartel to run. My second in command is a good man, but he has a lot on his plate right now. It wasn’t exactly fair of me to get up and leave him the way that I did.”

I swirl my fork in his direction. “I knew you were avoiding a woman. You have to tell me all about her. I need something to take my mind off the painfully boring day I’ve had.”

“I thought you worked with Alessio.” Christian brought his plate over to sit beside me.

“Not today. Alessio had things to do outside of the casino and I needed some time to work on the plans for the resort.”

“Still thinking about California?”

Though I know he is trying to fully change the subject, I’m not going to call him out on it. I may want to know his story, but he clearly doesn’t want to talk about it.

“I’ve thought about it, but you were right about that damn mouse. I don’t know how I would ever be able to compete with that. Maybe I could open it in Nashville, though. I’ve heard that the leader of the local cartel is very accommodating.”

Christian snorts. “I better not see you in Nashville. You amuse me, Billie, but if I had to spend every day with you, I would lose my mind. I don’t know how Alessio does it.”

I shrug as guilt washes over me. My conversation with Alessio the other day about starting something more than casual sex left me riding a high. I was in a good mood until I got home and started thinking about the way I would soon be leaving.

The truth is that I don’t want to leave anymore. It’s taken some time to wrap my head around the idea, but I know what I want. It isn’t a life outside of the mafia. Not truly. Though I would like to be less involved with it.

No, what — or who — I want is Alessio. Whatever way I can have him. I don’t have to give up my dreams to do that, even though I thought I would for the longest time.

Being with him is what I want. I want to be with him more than anything else and I’m willing to make those other dreams I have work with Alessio in them.

I don’t even see those dreams coming true without him by my side now.

“You see, it’s that look on your face right now that makes me think you’re hiding something,” Christian says, snatching a scallop off my plate. “Whatever it is, you should be honest with him.”

“If only life were that simple.” I smile and take another bite of steak. “My problems have nothing to do with Alessio.”

As soon as the words leave my lips, a crash comes from my father’s room. Christian leaps up from his stool and races down the hall faster than I can. I follow behind him, my heart pounding in my chest.

Please let Papa be okay. Please let him be okay.

I step into the room as a picture frame flies at Alessio’s head. Papa is sitting up in bed, his face bright red. The vein on his forehead is popping as Alessio stands on the other side of the room with his arms crossed.

“You know what?” Christian says as he looks at me. He shakes his head and points a finger. “This is a you problem. I have more calls to make.”

---