Page 42 of Sins and Secrets

“You keep looking at me like that, and I’m going to think that you’re trying to read my mind,” Billie says, her tone teasing as she opens her eyes and looks up at me. “You know, if you want to strip down and get in the pool with me, I wouldn’t mind.”

“That’s a bad idea.”

Billie laughs, her cheeks flushing. “I know what a terrible idea it is. You made that perfectly clear last time. It’s your pool, though. If you want to swim, I’m not stopping you. Hell, I’ll even get out if you want me to.”

“Stay.” I crouch to roll up the hem of my pants before sitting on the edge of the pool and dangling my legs in the water. “You don’t have to go just because I’m here.”

She starts treading water, her body distorted slightly by the ripples forming around her.

“Does she always come here and pull that shit? You don’t deserve to be treated that way. You should be able to make your own choices in life without your mother pressuring you.”

The corner of my mouth twitches. “You sound like you’re more upset by what she said to me than what she said to you.”

“I am. I’ve been dealing with mean girls my entire life. Your mother is just the adult version. You’re her son, though. She shouldn’t be bullying you into settling down when you’ve told her that you’re not ready for it. That’s not fair to you.”

“Bille, you are something else, you know that?” I shake my head and kick some water at her. “I heard your dad woke up. I didn’t have a chance to go see him today, but I’ll be heading over there tomorrow.”

“Can we talk about anything other than Papa? I’ve been having a hell of a day and talking about him right now is just going to make everything feel worse.”

I nod and stare up at the setting sun. “You know, I think we should order a pizza for dinner. After that, I really don’t feel like cooking.”

Billie laughs and splashes water back at me. “We’re going to pretend that you were going to be the one cooking dinner tonight?”

I smile and shrug. “We could if you like.”

She studies me, playfulness in her gaze despite the shit day she said she had. There is something always bright and sunny about her attitude, even when she is being dealt a shit hand at life. Billie’s been that way for as long as I’ve known her.

There’s something admirable about that.

“You know, when you smile, I would almost think that you’re not the cold bastard everyone says you are.” Billie smirks and dips beneath the water as the pool lights start to come on. I laugh as she swims around beneath the water before popping back up and spraying more water toward me.

“You should believe them when they tell you that I’m a cold bastard, Billie. There’s a reason for it.”

“I know. I do believe it and I’ve seen the reason behind it. I also happen to think that there are parts of you that you’re hiding deep away and not allowing anyone else to see.”

“Oh?” I ask, my tone amused. “And what would you know about hiding parts of yourself away from the rest of the world?”

Billie smoothes her hair back from her face. “I live in a man’s world, Alessio. I don’t pretend that I don’t. I’ve killed people. I’ve done other shit that is going to sit with me for the rest of my life. There are days that I wake up disgusted with myself, but I have to hide that away because there is no room for perceived weakness in the mafia.”

“And Arturo expects that of you.”

She nods. “And Papa expects me to be able to hold my own. You know as well as I do that I cannot disappoint him. If I look like I can’t bear the weight of being the consigliere’s daughter, then that will pass on to him. The capos will look for any reason to get rid of him.”

“Well, maybe you do know a little about hiding yourself from the world, then.”

“I just might.” She sighs and floats on her back. “There has to be more to you, though. I’m not convinced that a ruthless killer is all that you are.”

I stare at her, trying to figure out how much of me she already figured out. “It would be a mistake to think of me as anything other than what I am, Billie.”

The corner of her mouth twitches. “Did you spend a long time coming up with that line?”

“No.”

“People are not as simple as they seem,” Billie says as she swims over. She rests her arms on the edge of the pool, pulling herself up out of the water slightly. “I’m sure that there’s a part of you that’s hiding deep down and just waiting to be let out.”

I watch small droplets of water roll down between the valley of her breasts. “You’re wrong about that too.”

“I don’t think I am.” She combs her fingers through her hair, pushing the wet locks back from her face. “I know what this life is, though. Being who you are and going after the things you want will get you killed.”

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