Page 9 of Sins and Secrets

What I am sure of, though, is that my plan needs to be good enough to get me and Papa far away from Atlanta before Alessio even realizes that we’re missing.

Emilia starts to talk about the dance classes she is teaching at a studio in the city while we gather the rest of the ingredients. Her chatter is a welcome distraction from everything else going on in my head.

By the time we finish getting the groceries and loading the car, I’ve nearly forgotten about the invitation burning a hole in my back pocket.

“Do you know what you’re going to wear to dinner yet?” Emilia asks on the drive back to the main house at the Marchetti compound.

“Something that shows off my boobs and ass.” I grin at her and turn down the music. “I’m only half kidding about that. You know that the capos will leave us alone if we give them something to look at.”

Emilia sighs and leans her head back against the seat, looking out the window at the trees as we pass. “Sometimes, I dream about what life would be like outside the mafia.”

“You know, you could come with us.”

Emilia shakes her head and gives me a sad smile. “You know I can’t do that. Someone has to stay here and cover for you. Besides, this life is all I’ve ever known. If I keep doing right by the mafia, eventually I’ll get to live out my own dreams.”

“Or you’ll be trapped here like everyone else who believes that there’s a better way to live life here. Alessio doesn’t give a shit about his people. If he did, we wouldn’t be serving the capos like they’re gods.”

“You know that this is just temporary. Our turn to feed them only comes up once every couple of months. It isn’t that bad.”

“We’re going to keep a running tally of how many of them grope or hit on us tonight and then you can tell me if it really isn’t that bad.”

My stomach rolls just thinking about it. The weekly capos dinner is like an excuse for them to all act like animals. Not that they need the excuse. I don’t know if those men have ever been respectful of anyone other than themselves a day in their lives.

Might as well use it as a preparation for what’s to come, I guess.

Emilia’s lips press together in a thin line as I turn up the music.

We may not fight often, but this is one of the things that we do argue about. She is content to live life with the mafia, never making waves, and I want more for myself.

I want to be seen as a person instead of a maid or a commodity.

As backward as it may be, selling myself is the one thing that’s going to give me a life outside of being property to Alessio and his men.

I guess I need to be willing to be sold as property to stop being property. Can my life get even more complicated?

Men line the tables in the dining hall, laughing and drinking as women rush around and deliver plates of food to the tables. I scowl as I dodge another set of grabby hands to deliver two beers to a couple of men.

“You know, that really is a pretty dress on you,” one of the men says, his hand sliding up my thigh as I put his beer on the table. “If you like, I would love to show a pretty little thing like you what a good time is.”

“Go to hell,” I say, grabbing his hand and pulling it off me. “Have a nice dinner.”

I take off before the man can do anything to me. Talking back to the capos is asking for trouble, but sometimes they deserve it.

I’ll be damned if I let these assholes take advantage of me, though I know it’s coming. With Papa in the hospital, most of the men who want to try something will see me as vulnerable. They think they won’t have my father coming after them if they mess with me.

I disappear into the kitchen to look at the leftover food and see what can be packed up. The end of the night is coming fast, and soon I’ll be able to go home and forget that tonight ever happened.

“You know,” a deep voice says from behind me. “You should really respect the capos more. They are doing their best to keep you safe. If one of them wants something from you, then you really need to do your best to honor it. Why, I bet a dirty little whore like you makes a game out of getting on her knees for the capos.”

I don’t bother to look at the man, instead listening to the sound of his footsteps on the tiled floor. He paces around the area behind me, putting himself between me and the block of knives.

After taking a deep breath, I turn around to look at him. I hold my head high, determined not to let this man see the fear that is running through me. If he does, this is going to get much worse.

I have to keep my head about me if I want to get out of this kitchen unscathed.

He grins and takes a step closer to me. “I want to hear how you are going to make it up to me. You should have learned to mind your manners by now. I know your father would have taught you better than this shit.”

“Well, you’d be wrong,” I say, my voice strong and clear. “Get out of here before I make you wish you had never come in here.”

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