Page 52 of Sins and Secrets

Alessio stands in my office when I get there, glancing at the calendar on my computer. He pulls out his phone and checks something before turning to me. He’s about to say something but his mouth snaps shut and he steps around me to shut the door.

“Is everything alright?” he asks, his tone low in case anyone is on the other side of the door. “Come into my office and we can talk.”

I sigh but follow him with my coffee in hand. I take a long sip and try to think of a way to get out of talking to him. Sooner or later, he will need to know that Paolo is trying to recruit me, but it’s a lot to think about right now.

“You look like something’s bothering you,” Alessio says, shutting his office door behind me. He gestures to the couches near the window. “Does this have anything to do with last night?”

I cross the room and sit down on the plush couch. He sits in one of the armchairs across from me. His stare is unnerving, like he already knows what happened and is waiting for me to own up to it.

Though what he thinks happened and what actually happened are likely two different things. If he is asking about last night, then he has no clue that Paolo cornered me.

“No, this has nothing to do with last night.” I take another sip of the coffee, hoping it will settle the storm in my stomach. “Although, I do want to know something.”

“What is it?” He leans forward and rests his forearms on his legs, his hands clasping together. “If it’s something that I can talk about, I’ll tell you.”

“Do you know about the bet running within the famiglia on who will sleep with me?”

He frowns but he won’t look me in the eye. “I do know about it.”

I swallow the lump that rises in my throat. “Are you a part of it?”

If he says yes, I’m walking out of his office and never looking back. I don’t know what I’ll do without being able to move Papa, but I’ll break the contract.

Betting on whether or not he could sleep with me is a line I’m not going to let him cross.

“No.” He looks up at me. “I would never, Billie. It’s a disgusting bet and I’ve shut it down several times, but it always comes back up.”

“And don’t you think that’s part of the problem with the way you run things?” I ask before I truly realize what I’m saying.

To question his leadership is a sign of treason. We both know it.

“Billie, it’s not as simple as just putting an end to the way things are. Look at what happened when I’ve tried. Paolo is trying to take us down and he has support because I’m trying to change things.”

“So, does that mean that you stop trying? You want women to feel like property in your mafia? You want us to allow men to treat us how they please? To make bets on who will be the first to get their fucking dick wet? Is that really the way you want things to run?”

Alessio glares at me. “You’re toeing a dangerous line, Billie.”

“I don’t give a fuck right now — pardon the language. You said that I could speak freely with you, so that is what I’m doing. Do you really want a mafia where half the people in it mean nothing?”

“No. I don’t want that. And you need to believe that I’m trying to change that.”

“I don’t need to believe anything.” I put my cup of coffee on the table. “You need to prove that you want things to change. That you’re trying to make a difference. You’re a better man than your father and your brother, but you still follow in their footsteps. You wear their shoes like they should fit you.”

“And how the hell would you know anything about it? You were a child when I took over.”

“I was fifteen. I was far from a child at that point in my life. Plenty old enough to remember what your father and brother were like.” I shake my head and cross my arms. “You want to know what’s really bothering me? Beyond the way you’re content to sit back and allow things like a sex bet to carry on for years?”

His eyes flash with anger and his jaw tenses. “What?”

“Paolo came to me today. He cornered me at a café. He said that if I were to marry him, I would be an equal in the mafia he is starting. He wouldn’t allow things like the bet to form.”

“And you believe that?” Alessio shakes his head. “You’re an idiot if you did.”

“No, I don’t fucking believe that. But you know what, he’s at least willing to say something like that out loud.”

“Where did he go after he cornered you? Did he put his hands on you?” Alessio asks, the conversation shifting gears.

I allow the topic to drop for now, but I’m not going to stop pressuring him to do better. If there’s one good thing I can do for the people still in the mafia before I leave, it’s going to be that. I have his ear, I may as well use it to make lives better.

---