Page 53 of Rapture and Ruin

I don’t know why I stop arguing with him in that moment. Maybe it’s the tone of his voice or the despair in his eyes. Something is going on if he is going back on his agreement.

For as long as I have known him, Jovan has always been a man of his word.

If he’s stepping in now, he has to have a reason.

Though it is a giant leap of faith, I choose to trust him.

Please don’t let this be a mistake.

“Are you ready to tell me why I’m living with you now?” I ask, my tone sharper than intended as Jovan carries the last of my boxes into his house.

“Hadley, can’t you just trust that I am doing what is best for you? I don’t see why I need to explain myself to you every step of the way. Believe it or not, there are some things that you’re better off not knowing.”

I scowl at him, trying to keep a lid on my temper. Whatever is happening scares him. I’ve seen the long glances he gives me when he thinks I’m not looking. The way his eyes track me around the room, making sure that I’m never out of his sight for long.

“We’re partners in some sense of the word,” I say, sitting on the counter. Jovan sighs and starts pulling food out of the fridge and dropping it on the counter. “We’re going to have a child together. I need to know who or what is a threat to our baby beyond your job.”

“What makes you think that it would be anything outside of cartel business?” He doesn’t look at me as he pulls out a knife and a cutting board.

Jovan rolls up his sleeves and starts chopping the vegetables as I consider walking out. I know that he hasn’t made a habit of answering to anyone else in his life, but that’s going to have to change now.

I’m not going to unknowingly put our baby in danger because he won’t tell me what’s happening.

“If it was normal cartel business, the men you have watching me would be enough. You know that as well as I do. That means that there has to be something else going on.”

He glances at me before peeling the skin off an onion. “I don’t know what you want me to tell you.”

“Don’t play stupid with me, Jovan. It isn’t a good look on you. Why the hell am I here and why are you trying to control my life?”

“I’m making sure that you’re safe.”

“You’re infuriating.” I grab a slice of bell pepper and take a bite. “If you’re going to keep secrets from me, then this is never going to work.”

Maybe he’s only keeping you close because you’re having his baby. Maybe all his interest is in his heir.

It’s a horrible thought, but it’s one that’s easy to consider with the way he is behaving right now. The thought plays over and over in my head as I wait for him to say something that gives me a little bit of clarity in this situation.

Jovan starts slicing up the onion, keeping his focus on the vegetable. “I lost my family to Felix Domingos. I killed his family to take control. I left him alive. He killed my family while my back was turned. I’m not going to let that happen a second time.”

I nod and reach out to put my hand on his forearm. He glances at me, his mouth pressed into a thin line. After a moment, the tension in his shoulders eases.

“I just want to keep you safe. Felix is a dangerous man. He broke into your apartment when we were out of town. I don’t know what he was looking for, but he did threaten to kill you.”

My heart skips a beat. “Did you see the pictures from the ultrasound when the kitchen was packed up?”

The knife clatters to the counter as Jovan abandons everything to go sift through the boxes marked kitchen. He rips apart the boxes as I sit, completely frozen with terror.

“They’re not here,” he says, his voice sounding hollow as he looks over his shoulder at me.

My heart falls to my feet. “Shit.”

“He knows about the baby.”

As I stare at the mess surrounding Jovan, my hands start to shake. That ultrasound has been living on my fridge. It was my first glimpse of my baby and now it’s gone. I hadn’t even noticed it was missing over the last couple days. With all the other information and several lists I had put on my fridge, the ultrasound had gotten lost in a sea of papers.

And now it’s with a man who wants to kill the people in Jovan's life.

If I wasn’t falling for him, I would pack up and move to the other side of the country. I would tell him that all this shit wasn’t worth it and then I wouldn’t look back.