Page 106 of Kilt Trip

She dropped her head into her hands. “Why isn’t it working?” Tears leaked out of her eyes, spilling on the waffle-weave robe and splashing onto the bare skin of her legs.

Devika climbed onto the bed and pulled Addie’s head against her shoulder. She snuggled into the embrace like a toddler while Devika smoothed her hair back. “What’s not?”

“It’s like the wanderlust dried up. I don’t want to explore. I don’t want to eat airport food. I don’t want to live out of hotels with only Frank and Gigi for company.” The little pub beckoned to her, and Gemma’s kitchen, and the bay window. She couldn’t even think the words Logan’s arms.

Devika let out a heavy breath and shifted away. “Brace yourself, Ads.”

Addie wiped her eyes on the robe and pulled the collar up against her cheeks. “You’re going to say something mean, aren’t you?”

“Not mean. Honest. I travel because it keeps Samir’s love alive for me. Doing something we did together honors his memory, and I keep a connection to him. I took a chance on a big love. Even though I didn’t get to keep it forever, I’m grateful I didn’t wait around. We didn’t waste the time we had.” Devika rested a hand on Addie’s knee. “You, on the other hand, have your big love right in front of your face, and you’re running away from it. Because giving someone the power to hurt you is scary.” Devika held up her hand when Addie tried to object.

Addie crossed her arms over her middle. It was terrifying.

Running was what she did best. Only, she hadn’t gotten as far from those old wounds as she’d thought. She yanked on the terry-cloth belt, cinching it tighter like it could help hold her together.

Running wasn’t the same as locking yourself away from everyone who cared, but maybe the distance it created was the same.

Addie could admit to herself that she deserved some of the blame for the distance between her and her dad. Brian had pulled away, so she pulled right back, walling herself off. And the reflex had permeated into every other relationship she had, until the only people who truly knew her were Devika and Marc. Addie didn’t want to be like that anymore, didn’t want to push people away, didn’t want to guard her heart.

“I support you in whatever you decide to do. But just know, I think you’re fucking it all up right now.”

Addie let out a pained laugh. She felt like she might be, too.

45

“Morning, lad.” Neil waved him in, and Logan sank into the leather chair under the oversize map of Scotland stuck full of fly-fishing hooks. Pictures and postcards plastered the remaining walls. “Alright?”

Logan shrugged. Alright was a stretch. The status quo of surviving was Logan’s only aspiration. The joy over the new direction of the business was overshadowed by the Addie-size hole in his heart.

Sometimes, he woke in the night with a fierce longing. Sometimes, an unexpected jab pierced his side when he smelled lavender or black tea. It was hard to escape the memories they’d made.

Three weeks wasn’t close to enough time to make peace with her leaving, with the future they wouldn’t have.

“Getting by.” His dad already knew the whole story from a night sitting in their kitchen talking over six or seven cups of tea. “But feeling hopeful. I want to talk about the future.”

Neil moved his chair to the other side of the desk so nothing was between them and gestured for Logan to continue.

“With all these changes going on around me, I’ve fought to get back to our roots, to what I think of as our legacy. These tours bring our guests joy, and they bring me joy, too. Addie designed something that keeps the heart of them intact.” As much as her name felt like a blow to the ribs, he would always be grateful that she’d pushed him to dream. “I’ve been so afraid to change, so afraid that I would muck this all up, that I hadn’t taken the steps to figure out what I want my legacy to be.”

“I take it you have now?”

“The heritage tours. Can I show you?” Logan had barely slept since she’d gone, but the work was a welcome relief. Spending his nights in the office was a vast improvement over his empty flat, knowing he was working toward turning the company around. He showed Neil the itineraries and the cost spreadsheets, the sales projections and marketing plans.

“I can make this work. I know you haven’t always believed I could do this on my own—”

Neil’s eyebrows crumpled and the caterpillar bunched up. “I’ve always had faith in you, lad.”

Logan gave him a dubious look. “You hired a consultant I didn’t want.”

“I built a family business, but you are the only one who inherited my love for the stories and connections we make on those coaches. With Jack and Reid leaving, I worried you’d retreat to what was comfortable, when I knew you had ideas and so much of yourself to give this place. I wanted you to embrace this fully, to have the freedom to start over if that was your aim. And... I didn’t want to leave you with an utter mess to clean up alone.”

“It was my fault—”

“Things were in a state long before the whisky tours. My reasons for sticking around have been purely selfish. I love this place and the people out there.” He gestured to the rest of the office. “I’ve loved working alongside my sons.”

“I assumed you thought I wasn’t ready.”

“You’ll understand this when you’re a father, but the instinct to step in, to fight your child’s battles for them, it never goes away, no matter how much they’ve proven they can make their way in the world without you.”

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