Page 101 of Kilt Trip

The group broke out into side conversations, congratulating each other.

The teams were similar, too. They were included in the decision-making process. Consulted. Cared about.

Addie had simply fallen under the magical spell Neil and Logan cast with their stories and enthusiasm. She only needed a bit of space to remember it wasn’t unique to The Heart. There were other teams and businesses like them.

And there would be others in the future.

“Thank you all for your contributions. And thank you, Addie, for joining us in person. We’re always happy to see you. Now, let’s get to work.” Hanna turned the meeting over to Addie, and she stood at the front of the room fielding ideas. She wrote on the board with dry-erase markers, their stinging scent clinging to her fingers, and basked in the collaborative energy of the group.

She put up with the appalling hours and schedule of this profession for the chance to explore the world, but she loved her job for moments like this, too.

Which was a good thing, because it was all she had left.

When the meeting was finished, Hanna shut her leather-bound folio, and the room filled with the sound of closing laptops and shuffling papers. The team filed out, and Hanna shook Addie’s hand. “Good to see you again.”

“You, too. Hey, do you want to grab a drink tonight?”

Hanna’s face pinched. “I’m sorry. I can’t. I have a friend’s birthday tonight.”

Addie’s eyes pricked. She’d been counting on a breather, a distraction. Not more alone time with her thoughts. Elyse would have dropped everything to get a drink with Addie.

That wasn’t fair. Hanna wasn’t Elyse.

“Maybe another time.”

It was fine. Addie loved this city.

Outside, the wind bit into her ankles, wrists, and neck. She pulled her jacket tighter around her. Strolling along the canal, she made her way through the city center, as ice-skaters zipped by on the frozen water below. The streets were lit with golden lights.

Edinburgh wasn’t the only place that made her all goo-goo eyed. Amsterdam had the same old-world charm. Both small cities had interesting histories and beautiful architecture and...were really fucking cold.

Addie buried her nose in her scarf and stuffed her hands deeper into her pockets, rounding her shoulders against the sudden gust of wind.

Amsterdam shone in the summer. She didn’t remember it being quite so gray or the humidity being quite so close to one hundred percent. She stopped in a restaurant for warmth and sustenance and found a table by the window. The waitress asked her something in Dutch.

“Sorry. Do you speak English?”

“Of course. Are you dining alone?”

The pang in her chest annoyed her, and she pushed it away. “Yes.” She was perfectly capable of sitting at a table by herself. She had years of experience.

While she waited for her steak and fries, Addie checked emails on her phone. The prickly awareness that had taken so long to shake returned. Heat washed over the back of her neck and she looked up, catching a woman in a red sweater and graying hair watching her with pity in her eyes. Addie straightened her spine.

She hadn’t eaten many meals alone the whole time she’d been in Edinburgh. It was ridiculous to get used to the company in such a short amount of time.

Resentment toward everyone affiliated with The Heart and everyone in the restaurant settled under her sternum. How dare they make her miss them? How dare they make her feel lonely? She didn’t get lonely.

She’d made the right choice leaving Edinburgh. She was getting too dependent on everyone there, anyway.

As she sat alone, doubt seeped in through the edges of her convictions. To amp herself up, she tried to picture offices in faraway places, the unique destinations she could see, and the people she’d meet. Except...she’d be passing through their lives. Without meaning to, she pictured empty holidays and a constant, inescapable loneliness.

Her life would be filled with airports and takeout and not enough time off to visit Devika or Elyse. She knew what this life looked like.

Addie took a drink of the well whisky and spit it back in the glass with a grimace. Tears burned her eyes. It was ridiculous to cry over a poor-quality drink. There was probably a law of nature that whisky never tasted as good as it did in Scotland. But it was just another thing she loved that she had to walk away from.

The heart palpitations were back with a missed-the-flight hopelessness that made the world daunting and sometimes insurmountable.

She texted Devika.

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