Page 8 of Summer Rose

“I know. You’ve never needed anyone. You made that very clear when you were a little girl.”

Rebecca hadn’t seen anyone from her childhood since she’d left Nantucket. Nobody had the authority to speak about her life pre-Bar Harbor, not even Fred. She drank her beer and studied the wall in front of them. Shelves bent under the weight of Jack Daniel’s and Gordon’s gin bottles. Baxter’s brother sang the lyrics to a Billy Joel song that wasn’t on the stereo.

It seemed clear to Victor that Rebecca wasn’t eager to speak. He drank his beer as well, waiting for something. Perhaps Rebecca could sit and ignore him till he got the hint to walk out the door and never find her again.

But after another five minutes of silence, Rebecca said, “You would have liked him. Everyone liked him.”

Victor didn’t respond right away. Rebecca turned and glared at him, swimming in sorrow.

“He never would have walked out on his family like that,” Rebecca continued.

Victor’s face didn’t reveal any emotion. Perhaps he’d never felt any guilt for what he’d done. “I’m sure he wouldn’t have,” he said.

Rebecca sniffed. “He was a remarkable man, and I loved him. I loved him so much more than I even understood. Like, I wish I would have explained it to him. That my love was different from other kinds of love.”

Why was she blabbering on and on to the father who’d abandoned her? Had she lost her mind? Worst of all, he probably took pleasure in this. This was his livelihood, after all. He was Dr. Sutton, famous psychologist.

“Go ahead. Analyze me,” Rebecca said. “I can take it.”

But instead, he shook his head. “He knew you loved him that much. We humans always know. And sometimes we experience emotions that have no language.”

Rebecca returned her attention to her beer. She hated how right he was; she hated more that she liked the sentiment. Still, she couldn’t let him in. She wouldn’t. There wasn’t a single thing he could do or say to mend the decades-worth of silence and heartache. Nothing he could do would change her mind about who he was and what he’d done.

“Your mother’s husband died.”

The words landed like a bomb. Rebecca turned and gaped at him, shocked. “Larry died?”

Victor nodded. “Two weeks ago.”

Rebecca placed her hand over her mouth. Although she’d never met her mother’s second husband, she’d seen photographs online that marked him as a literary type, with thick, horn-rimmed glasses and a perpetually loving gaze. Finally, her mother had found peace. Finally, she’d found the one.

“He was so young,” Rebecca breathed. “What happened?”

“Heart attack,” Victor said. “Out of nowhere.”

Rebecca stared at her empty glass. Lately, life seemed eager to sneak up and remind her of all the possible ways to die. “Poor Mom.”

“Yes.” Victor palmed the back of his neck. “A source back in Nantucket says she’s not doing too well.”

Rebecca’s ears perked up. “Your brother?”

Victor nodded. “I’ve been back a few times over the years to see them.”

“Did you see Mom?” She asked it too quickly, like a child.

Victor shook her head. “I drove by the Book Club. It looked as beautiful as ever. Your mother and Larry added another back garden and planted several trees.”

Rebecca’s heart cracked at the edges. She imagined her beautiful mother knee-deep in soil, tending to a vegetable garden as her husband, Larry, mowed the lawn. It was domesticity at its finest; it was consistent proof of your love and your will to tend it.

“I hate thinking of her alone in that big house,” Rebecca breathed. Already, she’d begun to imagine herself alone in that big, drafty house when Chad moved out. It was a house that had once echoed with laughter and children’s arguments and Fred’s deep, baritone singing voice. She would walk through it like a ghost.

“Me too,” Victor said.

Rebecca met his gaze, genuinely confused. Why did Victor Sutton care if Esme was alone in her big house back in Nantucket? Why had he traveled such a long distance to tell Rebecca any of this?

Finally, he slowly dredged the truth to the surface. “I find myself without a home these days.”

Rebecca’s lips parted with surprise.

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