Page 7 of Tango

I couldn’t explain what I felt about that word. It was so tangled up in my head. My emotions were all over the place.

“I’m not sure I can.”

“Well, how do you feel inside when you think of that word?”

“Twisted and bent around something, like I can breathe but it hurts to.” I started to tap deeper into my feelings. “I hate the idea of hurting Ivy, but I need to go over there and figure this shit out for not only Brown’s family but for me. I have no idea what I’m looking for or what I can bring back as evidence, but I need to try. I know if I don’t, I can’t move on. And if I can’t move on, I’ll lose her.” I looked over at him. “I can’t lose her, Doc.”

He nodded slightly but didn’t say a word, so I went on.

“I have two parents, and all they want to do is spend time with me. My sister and my niece moved here with my parents in hopes I’d give them a bit of my time, but I just can’t do that. So, I avoid them.” I inhaled sharply.

“But yet, this gorgeous, incredibly smart, funny, strong woman comes into my life, and suddenly everything changes. When she’s near me, I start to care about things I never did before. She makes me think about everything I do. Even about my family. She’s good for me, good for my soul. But I think I broke her last night when I told her I was leaving. I literally spun her off her axis. What does that say about me?”

“That you care that you hurt someone you care about.”

“Who I love,” I blurted, and my gaze snapped up to his.

“And there’s your answer.” He smiled warmly. “You’re disconnected from yourself because you don’t want to hurt or lose the woman you love.”

“Shit.” I leaned back, baffled by my confession. “What the hell do I do, Doc?”

“Tell her how you feel.” He closed his tablet. “Once you do, everything will smooth out inside.”

“If it doesn’t?”

“Well, that’s a risk you’re just going to have to take.”

“I don’t like those kinds of risks, Doc.”

“No one does,” he chuckled, “but that’s life.” My heartbeat sped up, and I tried to think about what I should do. “May I offer some advice from someone who has worked in this field longer than I care to share?”

“Please.” I gestured for him to go on.

“You need a clear head going over there, and that’s why you came to me for help, correct?” I nodded. “A clear head starts with a clear conscience. A clear conscience will be yours if you start with a young woman whose heart is just as vulnerable as yours. Tell her how you feel so if the unthinkable happens over there, you left Ivy with the knowledge she was loved. Who doesn’t want to know they are loved by someone?”

He was right. If I could give her anything in this world, it should be my love. She deserved that, at the very least. Everything inside me went calm, and I knew what I needed to do.

“I won’t lie, I’m terrified to even say those words. I’m afraid of that kind of commitment. I’m not sure if I’d be any good at it.”

“You never know ’til you try.” He smoothed his tie and stood, and I followed.

“I think I’ll skip that hypnosis.”

He smiled then moved to open the door and walked with me down the hall. “I’ll be here if you reconsider.”

“Thanks, Doc.”

“No, Ty,” he placed a hand on my shoulder, “thank you.” My brows pinched, confused on what he meant, but then I realized we weren’t in his office anymore and he was her uncle once again. “You’re good for her, too.”

“I think I needed to hear that.”

I smiled as I headed for the kitchen. As I walked past Cole, I caught him staring hard at his phone like he was trying to figure something out.

“Everything okay, Logan?”

“What the hell is that?” he muttered to himself. He obviously hadn’t even heard what I said, so I moved on and reached for the coffee pot.

“Hey, Savi.” I poured myself a coffee and followed her gaze toward Cole. “Have you seen Ivy?”