Page 6 of Tango

He laughed. “Excellent. So many stories and only five days to share them all.”

“Remember story time works both ways,” I shot back, “but thanks. I need to know she’s okay.” I tapped the wheel and thought again.

“Are you second guessing going?”

“No,” I answered truthfully. “You and I both know I need to do this.”

“Yeah, we do, but does she? You need to make it right with Ivy before you leave. Going over there with any kind of shit messing up your head is a recipe for disaster.”

“I know.” Huh. I suddenly realized that was one of the reasons I kept my family at arm’s length.

Once we parked, Doc Roberts met us at the door.

“Good morning, gentlemen.” He nursed a steamy cup of coffee. “Ty, Savannah says you’re looking for some hypnotherapy before you leave for Afghanistan?”

“I am, yes. Would you have any time for that?”

“Good plan,” Moore commented. “I know a lot of guys who find it helpful.”

“Yes, it’s becoming more and more popular.” The doctor smiled at Moore. “I have time now, actually, Ty. Shall we?” I handed Moore my files and followed Doc to his office.

I took a seat on the couch, feeling a bit anxious about what I was about to do. The idea of allowing someone to dig around in my subconscious made me uneasy, but I trusted the doc. After all, it was my idea. Hypnotherapy had been recommended to me more than once by guys I’d served with. Some found it useful when preparing for life after service, and others found it helped to clear their heads before a posting.

“Before we get started, I want to know how you’re feeling today in three words.” Doc’s voice was calm and low. I nodded and went with the truth.

“Nervous, excited, disconnected.”

“Interesting use of words today.” He scribbled on his tablet. “Let’s start with the first one. What are you nervous about?”

“I’m partly nervous about this trip to Afghanistan, which is odd, because normally I can’t get there soon enough.”

“All right.” He made a note of my answer. “Why do you think you’re nervous this time?”

“Because of…” I trailed off when I remembered who I was speaking to. Ivy’s uncle.

“Hmm,” he gave me a knowing smile, “you know.”

“I found out recently.”

“Then you should also know that when I’m in here, I’m your doctor. I leave all feelings for my family outside that door. I’ve done that for years and will continue to until I leave this profession.”

One thing I was sure of about Doc Roberts was that he didn’t lie. He was honest to a fault, and right now I needed that.

“Okay, I’m worried that if I leave, Ivy will think I’m choosing my own personal issues over her. She seemed upset when I talked to her about it.”

“Dr. Knight is an educated woman. This certainly wouldn’t be the first time she’s dealt with couples having to separate because of a mission. She’s often done couple’s therapy to help spouses who are upset the other has chosen to return to war.” He seemed to think for a moment. “I’m not saying she’s not upset, but I can promise you it’s not because she thinks you are choosing it over her.”

“Good to know.” I shifted on the cushion.

“You mentioned you were excited. Tell me about that.”

“I spent eight years in Afghanistan. I wanted to be there more than here in the States. I admit I love the idea of going back and living that life again, even if it’s only for forty-eight hours.”

“Good. Use that excitement when you go over there. That kind of controlled excitement is what you need to focus and get your job done.”

“Agreed.” I ran a hand through my hair while my chest tightened. “I’ve just never felt quite like this before. Like there’s a disconnect.”

“Okay, let’s talk about the disconnect. Elaborate for me.”