Page 150 of Lock Up the Darkness

Despite my intent, his words had my gaze snapping back to his and I shoved a hand into his chest, knocking him back. “Don’t use his pain as a weapon.”

“I’ll use whatever manages to get through to you, so you don’t go this route.”

“Because you’re worried I’ll let it get under my skin and mess me up, make me what I’m sure you believe Killian to be, a weak link for what’s coming? Or, do you need a stroke to your already highly inflated ego?” I bit back.

“The people we’re going up against will exploit any uncertainty in us. They’ll zero in on it and draw it out and use unresolved issues against us. They’ll poison us with it. If nothing is unresolved, if we’re sure in who we are, how we feel, and what we’re fighting for, there’s little left to exploit. As for Killian being a weak link, I don’t see it that way. Each of you has your own strengths, each of you is different and bringing something unique to the table, which will serve us well collectively.”

Well, I didn’t see that coming.

My surprise must have shown on my face, because he rolled his eyes and told me, “If you weren’t so defensive with me, you already would’ve seen that without my need to spell it out. You’re very perceptive too, but you allow your preconceptions to get in the way. And your fear that I’m always manipulating you to some end. I’m not, for the record. Only when you pull something like this, or become unduly difficult. Those tactics were removed from my approach when it comes to you the moment you became a part of our team here.” He reached out and brushed his hand over my cheek briefly, before dropping it back to his side. “Besides, if it was constant manipulation, none of this between us would be real.”

“Damn you,” I muttered, grabbing his hand and holding it between us. “I do care about you guys. I do… feel something.”

“Especially for Killian?”

“No, not especially. Just for each of you. Killian needs that care shown in different ways than you and Jonah. In affection and attention. Jonah needs it in me being able to go toe-to-toe with his violent and dirty edges. And you?” I grinned. “You need me to meet you on your level, to understand your way of thinking, and that despite the power and control justifications and reasoning you use, that there’s actually a lot of care and protection at the root of it, just like that punishment you inflicted upon Killian. You need me to see the real you, the good that you hide so well.”

One moment he was staring back at me with intensity flaring in his gaze, and the next he was lunging at me, my back hitting a nearby tree. Before I could catch my breath, his body was covering mine. He dipped his head and our mouths clashed.

At the first brush of lips, the normally forcibly restrained passion between us broke violently, and shattered all over.

One moment I was tugging at his shirt, the next my hands were sliding under it, my fingers feeling up the hard ridges of his hot-as-sin abs. Then they were clutching his back, in his hair, grasping fistfuls of his ass. I couldn’t keep them in one place, I couldn’t keep still, couldn’t touch enough of him.

He was obviously feeling the same way, his talented hands running all over me, touching me everywhere as our tongues dueled utterly frantically.

Except the one place I needed him the most.

I sucked in a breath when he briefly brushed between my legs and I jolted, instead of sinking into it. I blinked that strange reaction away and tightened my hold around him.

But all too soon afterward, he abruptly pulled away.

We were both barely breathing as we stared at one another, fighting to come down from it and catch our breath.

All I could manage was a whimper of protest at the disconnect.

He grasped my hands and interlaced his fingers with mine, holding them between us. “I’m sorry. Any more and I won’t be able to stop.”

“And that’s what you want?” I breathed out unevenly. “To stop?”

He shook his head. “After what you just confessed, knowing what you see… in me… if we take another step here, if I shove you back up against that tree, I’ll descend on you, sweetheart. Tear into you and fucking well worship every inch of your body for hours on end.” At my choked gasp, he chuckled. “Like I said, I won’t be able to stop.” He played with my fingers in his, stroking them with his thumbs. “And you’ll hurt.”

“You know I don’t mind a little hurt… or a lot.”

“I need you strong. Ready. Not at any sort of disadvantage.” He raised his gaze back to mine. “With what’s coming and I need your help right now with something… for Killian.”

“Help?” I murmured, still trying to think past the pleasure haze and the need coursing through me, my veins still pulsing with liquid fire.

“With a better way to deliver punishment and justice to Liza, and help Killian at the same time.”

“I’m in,” I said, automatically. “Whatever you need, whatever he needs.”

He smiled, then released my hands and surprised me as he pulled me against him, wrapping his arms around me, just holding me close and breathing me in.

As I sank into him, I whispered at his ear, “It’s more than just something.”

“What is?”

“What I feel for the three of you. As fucked up as it is, considering how all of this started.”

---