Page 89 of Scars Run Deep

“Asher?”

I jolted out of my thoughts and swung my head toward the sound of the voice calling for my attention—Jonah.

He was frowning.

A brief spark of suspicion lit his eyes, before it snuffed out, and he went on as though it had never occurred, asking me simply, “You all right? I toned it down with the dose of painkillers I gave you earlier, but I can take it down another notch if it’s affecting you?”

I smiled inwardly. He knew it wasn’t that. Fuck, he knew me much better than that. He was aware there was something else at play that had just had my mind wandering right in front of everyone. He was trying to cover it up for me by quickly claiming another source for this slip I’d just had.

The fact I’d had it at all bothered me to no end.

Nobody was truly infallible or able to put on an unaffected and impenetrable front at all times, but I came pretty damn close.

This, though, what I was dealing with, all these different and highly hazardous and unpredictable elements I was trying to juggle, it was a lot. And the stakes not just if I couldn’t, but if I made a single fucking mistake, were dangerously high.

“I’ll be fine,” I answered, pinching the bridge of my nose and summoning all my mental fortitude as I rapidly scanned the data for the thirtieth time, double checking the strategies I’d already formulated in my mind before even bringing it to the three of them.

“Is it more than that?” Aurora asked. “More than the painkillers and what-not?”

My gaze skimmed over Killian who was eyeing me with obvious suspicion, not snuffing it out like Jonah had, but holding onto it as he usually did. Good luck with that. I slid my eyes over to Aurora and quirked my lips. “Don’t be shy now, little beast, state your point.”

“The Heretics. That’s my point. Are you considering delaying our takedown of the dollhouse network now that this unknown enemy is in the picture?”

“If that was the case, why would I have called this meeting?”

“To give us crumbs, some hope, and to ensure morale doesn’t take a big hit, and to tamper down frustrations. You’d have us work out our strategies, but tell us we’ll have to wait on actually carrying them out.”

Hmm. She was certainly sharp.

“I’m not delaying anything.”

“No?”

“Really?” Killian asked, finally joining in. “There’s an unknown enemy, one that admitted their intent was to abduct you and Aurora, and that’s not a factor now? Just like that? How?”

“They’re background noise.”

“Really?” Killian pushed. “Since when has any threat against us been background noise to you? Someone comes at us and you don’t stop until they’re buried—oftentimes, literally.”

“Do you want this issue to stop us from obtaining our objective?” I threw back at him.

“That’s not what I’m—”

“Because Olivia might have assured you that your mom isn’t actually completely gone after all, that there’s still something left in her that’s not just a doll, but that won’t last forever. In fact, I’d wager it won’t last much longer at all. It’s absolutely time-sensitive.”

He burst to his feet, kicking back his stool in the process, so aggressively that it actually toppled onto the floor. “How fucking dare you use her to make your point? As some kind of bargaining chip to get me to stop asking questions we all have every right to ask!”

He went for me, but Jonah was there in the next moment, pressing his hand to his chest.

“Kill, back up,” he rumbled.

“Fuck you for defending him, J! Always his fucking bodyguard and advocate, even when he treats you like his goddamn servant! Even when he knows how you feel about him, but doesn’t give a shit. Worse, he uses it to his advantage and to manipulate you!” He scoffed and shoved against him, but Jonah held firm. “It’s bullshit. You’re bullshit for taking it. For being his perfect little soldier. And the sad part is, I’m the one who’s really got your back, and you always taking his side hurts me and throws all that in my fucking face.”

“Without him, we both would’ve been decimated by Samuel and Reed years back, Kill,” Jonah told him calmly.

His voice was steady, his words coming out as such, but his free left hand that wasn’t occupied like his other with holding Killian back from me was shaking, giving away just how much Killian’s emotional outburst was actually affecting him.

While it was important that we were united, now more than ever, keeping these new dirty truths compartmentalized had taken precedence in this particular instance.

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