Page 48 of Immortal Burden

I hesitated.

It was clearly all the evidence he needed to bolster his theory.

Shit.

He stepped closer. “In the shielded atmosphere of Polaris, everything remains as a fantasy. My wish to venture beyond that with you shattered that illusion, did it not? It made it too real? Made the notion of you and me too real?”

“It was a little startling.”

“The fact that it would move us beyond a predominantly sexual relationship?”

“Our relationship already is beyond that. It isn’t hollow like that. We’re all in when we do those things together. We connect on a very intimate level, far beyond mere sexual acts.”

“I agree.” He brushed his fingers through my hair. “So, you can see then, why your recent behavior would vex me.”

His directness was as refreshing as it was unnerving. Especially when I was deeply entrenched in defensive mode.

When I failed to respond, he reached out and cupped the side of my face, his voice a low rumble. “Your desire for me is indisputable, yet you continue to repress it, to deny what you truly feel.” He ran his fingers softly back and forth over the coarse stubble plaguing my jaw, sending a shiver of awareness through me.

The fact that he could fire me up with a barely-there touch affirmed the depth of the connection between us. His voice was a sexy growl as he said, “It was a welcome reprieve to not have to think, to be free of the burden of always being the powerful rock that so many have come to rely on. You were free just to feel, to experience without needing to lead and control. You were at peace.” He breathed me in. “And it was truly delectable to facilitate your surrender.”

His eyes hooded with desire, the intense sensuality rolling off him affecting me in an extremely heady way. I could barely breathe with it.

But then he stepped back, breaking the spell.

“I wish to take things further now, beyond the limitations of a sexual relationship. There is so much more between us, continuing to leave it as a dirty liaison here and there cheapens that and it doesn’t sit right with me. You know that I have waited for you while you were taken with another. I am an exceptionally patient being, however, I didn’t think it was necessary at this juncture to continue in that vein. We’d moved beyond that. Yet, now it appears you wish to backtrack.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t plan to do that. I just… it’s hard to… to…”

“To trust another whom you feel affection for?”

“To let that level of vulnerability in again, I guess.”

“I am not her, Ryker. I know what I want and I don’t stray from my convictions. I’m transparent when it comes to my sentiment toward those I care for. Just ask and I will always give you the whole truth. I won’t hold anything back with you should we take this next step.” He smiled sadly and stepped back. “I will leave you to contemplate what I’ve said. A word of advice though?”

“What’s that?” I only just managed to get out, his heavy words cutting deep.

“Don’t allow the pain of broken trust to taint all else. Don’t give it the power to change who you truly are, and to turn that warm, open heart of yours to stone. It is a gift to care, to love like that. In fact, it is rarer than you can possibly imagine.”

He gave me a chin lift, then turned to go.

I reacted on instinct, my hand shooting out and grasping his arm.

He spun back to me, his eyes sparking with surprise.

“Stay.”

He raised an eyebrow.

He needed more.

I couldn’t fault him for that in the least.

After him putting it out there, it’d hit me just how close I was to doing to him what Mia had done to me. Hurting somebody who had put their heart on the line in such a beautiful and courageous way.

He wasn’t her. Nowhere close.

“I want you. I want this with you, Lucian. Stay. Please.”