Page 20 of Twisted Hunger

Beau shakes his head back and forth. "I'm sorry, Ryan, but I can’t let you put that shit into your body any longer."

He disappears into my bathroom, and I hear the water in the tub turn on before he comes back out. He scoops me up and carries me to the bathroom as I squeal, "What are you doing, Beau?"

"Don't fight me, Ryan… I'm going to take care of you."

His admission shuts me up, and I stop squirming, allowing him to take me to the tub. I no longer have the fight in me, so I let Beau do as he will. I remain silent as he takes care of my heated yet trembling body while I close my eyes and soak it all in. For once, I'm not all alone.

Day 4. I'm so tired, but not as irritable as I have been, and I'm ravenous. woke up a few minutes ago, used the bathroom, and found Beau sleeping in the chair by the window. I flinch inwardly because that can't be comfortable. Instead of waking him, I leave him and head down to the kitchen to find something to eat.

I can't believe how he took care of me yesterday. It didn't matter how much of a bitch or how argumentative I was; Beau took it all in stride. It was my worst day yet, but he was so patient with me. It's hard to stay mad at him after how he's been here for me. It's more than my mother has ever been. I've yet to even get a call from her.

"You shouldn't be up." A deep voice sounds from behind me, causing me to jump and grab my chest.

"Damn it, stop sneaking up on me!" I glare at Beau.

Even after a night of sleeping in a rough position, he still looks as handsome as ever. I've always known he was good-looking, but I refused to see him due to the ugliness he portrayed by his actions. I'm still wary of his intentions, but he's been good to me so far, aside from keeping my pills from me.

"My bad, I didn't mean to." He looks at the carton of eggs in my hand. "I can make you something to eat if you're hungry."

I roll my eyes. "I can cook my own breakfast, Beau. Besides, you have done enough for me."

He walks over to me slowly, and my pulse races. "I like taking care of you, Ry-Ry."

I wince at his nickname for me. "Can you please not call me that?"

"What's wrong with the name I call you?" With a slight smile curving his lips, he tilts his head and waits for me to answer.

"It reminds me of a name that a bully used to call me." My words come out softly, but my eyes hold his. "It reminds me of him."

"He's gone, Ryan…"

"Is he, though?" My voice cracks, and all we can do is stand here staring at each other, wondering how this will play out now.

My mood swings are ridiculous. I was just thinking about how good Beau has been to me, and now, I'm mad. I can't explain the anger simmering just below my surface suddenly. This guy has tormented me for three years, and almost overnight, he's reformed himself? I find it hard to believe. Am I so desperate for attention that I will even believe the words that come out of my bully's mouth?

I know actions speak louder than words, and he has been here, taking care of me, but does he have an ulterior motive? I stare warily at him as his body stiffens with my last comment. I've upset him.

"What must I do to convince you, Ryan?"

"I'm sorry if I can't just take your word at face value after what our past has been like. Besides, nobody wants to be friends with a drug addict, never mind be with them," I sneer.

"EX-drug addict, Ryan. You're going to get clean…"

"WHAT IF I DON'T WANT TO GET CLEAN?" I blow up in his face. "Did you ever ask me if it's whatI wanted? Of course not, because Ryan never gets a say in her own life!"

"You need to get clean, Ryan," Beau says softly, not even flinching at my outburst. "You will feel better once you do. It's hard to see clearly when you're messed up on drugs…"

An indescribable feeling wells up inside me, and all I want to do is scream and throw shit. I can't stop it, and once I grab the pan that I was going to cook the eggs in and throw it on the floor with all my might, something snaps. Anything and everything that I can find on the counters is getting thrown across the kitchen.

"How dare you come into my house and act like a self-righteous prick, telling me that you're sorry for how you treated me all these years, and then tell me that I need to straighten my life! Do you think I will just forgive every fucking thing you did to me and fall into your arms? DO YOU?"

"Stop, Ryan." Beau lunges for me, but I move to the other side of the island before he can grab me.

"No! You stop, Beau! Who do you think you are? I don't need you to parent me... I've been parenting myself for three fucking years..."

"Oh, yeah, and I can see how well that worked out for you!" He's still not quite yelling, but I can tell that he's beginning to lose his patience with me. Good.

"Fuck you, Beau! Go back to your big mansion and your nasty fucking girlfriend, because I don't need you coddling me! I don't need to have you here thinking how pathetic I am because I want to numb all the fucking pain I have with drugs…"

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