The license was too much. Too fast.
It’s not you. It’s me.
Okay, that was fucking bullshit.
It is me. I need time, more than sixty days.
Have a good life.
D~
I left the note with the crumpled license and my key to her apartment on her kitchen counter.
Once outside, I lifted my face to the sky with the sensation that I’d shed a tremendous load. My steps were lighter. The night noises were louder. My inner buzz was stiller.
Amber wasn’t my future.
There was no denying that.
Repercussions would undoubtedly come, but no matter what they were, they were better than marrying the wrong person. Fuck, I had the right person. My thoughts went to the diamond ring in my dresser at home. The idea of putting it on Amber’s finger made me physically ill. She deserved to marry someone who loved her.
That wasn’t me.
The mostly empty streets allowed me to speed from downtown to the north side. By the time I reached Dani’s condo, I felt hundreds of pounds lighter. It was closer to one hundred and forty pounds lighter, but lighter, nonetheless.
Dani answered the door wearing pajama shorts and a soft top. “I have bourbon. Talk to me.”
“Good news or bad news first.”
She closed the door and led me to her kitchen table where she had a bottle of Four Roses and two shot glasses. “Bad.” She poured two shots.
As I lifted the glass to my lips, I laughed. It was a full-blown, out-of-control moment, and I was sharing it with one of the only people in my life who I fully trusted.
“You’re losing it, Damien,” Dani said with a grin.
Pulling out chairs, we both sat, me wearing yesterday’s suit minus the jacket and tie, and my sister in her pajamas with her hair piled on her head.
“I don’t know which one is the good and which one is the bad.”
“How about chronological?” she asked.
“Today, Amber and I went to the county clerk’s office.”
“What the fuck?” Dani’s eyes opened wide. “You’re going to marry her?”
“Do you think I should?”
Dani stood and paced back and forth. “I don’t…” Her gaze met mine. “I mean, I’m happy for you if you love her. Or is this about that addendum?”
I reached for my sister’s hand. “Sit down and have another shot. There’s more to the story.”
“Okay,” she said, nodding and sitting with one leg bent beneath her. “Pour.”
I poured each of us a second shot.
Dani lifted hers to her lips. “Give me the other news.”
“I crumpled the license, wrote her a Dear John letter, and left her sleeping in her bed.” I shrugged. “Not John, but you get the idea.”