Page 78 of Perfect Chemistry

“I wanted my life with you. I did. I d-,” he continued as I began to drift off to sleep. I couldn’t hear all of his words over the noise of the bar he must have been sitting in. Poor guy sounded miserable.

I was almost asleep when his final words shook me wide awake.

“I saw you, KitKat, and I couldn’t say a word. I saw you and you were so beautiful. I fucked up, Kat. I fucked up-” and then the line disconnected.

My eyes snapped open. What the fuck was that?!? I stared down at the number on my phone. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I felt my dinner at the back of my throat as my stomach turned over. I was sitting up in bed staring at my phone. What the hell was that?

I dialed the number back and waited for the man to answer again. No, I was waiting for Kai to answer. But it wasn’t Kai who answered, it was a woman.

“Hello?” she answered.

“Um- I just got a call from this number?” I pretended to be stupid like I didn’t know who just called me.

She laughed into the phone, “Oh, sorry about that. He won’t bother you again.” Then the line went dead. Again.

What the actual fuck? Did he think I needed him to fucking torment me some more now that I was back in town? My eyes burned, but I let the tears fall this time. I shut my phone off, and turned back into the pillows to cry. I let out everything that I had been holding back, and I sobbed.

I don’t know how long I had cried, or how long I lay whimpering. I vaguely sensed someone crawling onto the bed and holding me, and trying to soothe me. I was too lost in my despair and cried until I was too exhausted to cry anymore. Sometime just after dawn, sleep finally claimed me again.

I didn’t dream of anything or anyone, it was just total blackness until I woke up to the sound of Avery and Aiden fighting outside of my room for the privilege of waking me. I heard Andie’s voice and realized that I must have overslept. I slowly crawled out of bed and made my way to the bathroom.

As I got a good look of myself in the mirror, I realized that last night was not just another ‘rough night.’ My short hair was a mess of twisted snarls. My eyes were still red and puffy from crying last night, but there was nothing I could do about that. I just needed to get moving, and keep moving today.

Andie handed me a yogurt and a spoon as I entered the kitchen. “I need to run the kids to a party, but I won’t be gone long. Do you want to go with me?” She smiled at me, but she was worried. I could see it in her eyes.

I nodded, “Yeah. Give me just a sec to throw on some real clothes. I didn’t sleep so well last night.,” I confessed, knowing that she already knew. It was one of the conditions I had set for myself: acknowledging when I was struggling. I set the yogurt back down on the counter and ran up to my room to change.

Not your room. Don’t get attached to things, because it won’t last.

Returning back to the kitchen, I grabbed the yogurt cup and spoon and ran out the door to join Andie and the kids in her huge SUV. Buckling my seat belt, I had to ask her.

“Tell me again why you have this enormous vehicle when there are only the four of you?”

She smiled as she pulled out of her drive and onto the road that led out of her small community. “Well, the five of us will need space for road trips,” she explained.

“What road trips? I am not going on a road trip with your family, Andi-” I stopped talking when I saw her face flushing crimson red. Oh. My. God.

“OH MY GOD! ANDIE!” I squealed startling Aiden and Avery.

“Shhhhh. Don’t say anything. I mean do not finish your thought. We need to wait another three weeks before we say it out loud,” she whispered. I could hear the joy and stress in her words. She always waited until she was past the first trimester to tell anyone that she was pregnant.

Too much could happen in those first twelve weeks. I was happy for her, but my hand still covered my own stomach. Grief involuntarily seeping into me again. I didn’t know back then. Too little, too late.

I smiled at her and nodded. I would keep quiet and pray to whatever god she asked me to, to beg for their baby to be healthy and happy like its older siblings. “Ok,” was the only word that I could say.

Chapter 27

Kai’s POV

I didn’t need a new phone after all, but I would be without one for two days while the company replaced the shattered screen. I couldn’t even remember talking to the bartender longer than ordering a drink. Sighing, I climbed back into my car. I needed to call Deedee at work to tell her I dropped my phone.

She would just forward my patients’ calls to the reception instead of to me and then page me if I needed to come in. Takes a bit more time doing it old school, but I didn’t really have much of a choice. This was what happened when you held out hope and it crashed down. I leaned my head back on the headrest and closed my eyes. Every time I closed my eyes I saw her. The girl I fell in love with growing up and the woman from yesterday interposed over each other.

Fuck. Get your shit together, Kai. I tapped the steering wheel a few times and decided to get on with my day. I needed to run a few errands and then stop by the store to grab a small gift for Lacy’s son. I wouldn’t stay for the whole party, but I needed to show up for my little man.

Lacy and I met in college and remained friends ever since. I liked to remind her as often as possible that if it weren’t for my amazing wingman skills, she wouldn’t have met her wife Val.

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