Page 2 of Perfect Chemistry

The last first week flew by. I successfully avoided Kai when we weren’t in classes together to minimize the strain on my heart. By Friday night, I was excited to go dancing. Andie convinced me to wear a pair of cut-off shorts and a cute knitted tank. I loved the outfit. I did my make-up light, like always, and out the door we flew.

I couldn’t stop laughing at Andie’s reaction when her sister pulled up to a fire hall. “What are you doing here?” Andie asked her sister.

“Um, dancing, dummy. Did you think I was going to take you into a club in the city? Come on. You’ll have fun!” She promised, smiling ear to ear. Laney was two years older than Andie, and was home on leave from the military. Hearing her tell stories about that kind of life was what sold it for me.

“But what kind of dancing is in the fire hall?” Andie asked.

“Line dancing, duh!” Laney chuckled.

I pulled Andie’s arm as we followed Laney into the massive hall. “I don’t know how to line dance, Andie!” I whispered loudly.

Laney sighed, and took each of us under an arm. “Look. Think of this like dance classes. We’re going to learn a routine, and then have fun. I have seen you two dancing enough to know that you’ll be just fine. It’ll be fun!”

Three hours later, Andie and I were drenched in sweat, laughing our asses off trying to keep up with the people around us. I wondered if Kai would ever agree to go dancing with me. He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t even go with me to a dance in eighth grade, why would he ever agree to line dancing. Andie grabbed my hand, pulling me out of my thoughts and back to the moment. I needed to enjoy the now and forget about my what-ifs.

One Friday led to another, and before I knew it I was being dragged to the mall by my sister to pick out a dress for the homecoming dance.

“Well? Are you getting it or not?” Fiona asked, staring at me in the full-length, green, satin, body-con dress that I contemplated buying for Homecoming. “You look hot as hell!”

I rolled my eyes at her. I could be daring and adventurous in my own way. This dress just screamed sexy, and I wasn’t comfortable with that yet. I had hoped Kai would maybe ask me, but some chick from another school asked him to our homecoming. I would wear this if Kai were taking me, but he wasn’t.

Instead, my slightly younger sister was trying to convince me to go with her boyfriend’s brother. Because nothing screamed pathetic like the senior who couldn’t get a date to her last homecoming dance. I would have been just as happy going stag, but now I was the unofficial chaperone of my Irish twin and her horndog boyfriend.

“I’m just going to borrow the black maxi dress from mom. There is no way in hell I am wearing this around someone that I don’t like,” I sighed as I closed the dressing room curtain.

Despite my protests, Fiona was not deterred. She felt that it would be ′great’ if we double dated brothers. There was no way in hell. First she was barely sixteen, and her boyfriend was 18. His older brother was supposedly only 23, but he looked like he was 30.

I couldn’t do this. I had to stop obsessing over a guy who saw me as a perma-pal and just move on. I just wasn’t moving on with a 30 year-old.

I stopped listening to whatever my sister was rambling about. I stopped thinking about any of it, because it didn’t matter. Nothing I wanted in the past came to be, and my future gains weren’t looking too optimistic either.

“I’m going by myself. I’m not taking a set-up date, and I am not going to be your plus anything,” I told her as we arrived home with our purchases two hours later.

She looked genuinely upset. “That’s so sad, Katie-”

And for a moment I genuinely thought she was worried for me…

“What do I tell Ray? He has a suit and everything already!” She yelled, looking clearly distraught.

I stared forward at our house for a moment, willing myself not to lose my temper. “I never asked Ray to go. I did not buy a ticket for Ray, I only bought a ticket for me. You want him to go to Homecoming so damn bad, he goes with you. Just stop trying to hook me up. I’m not like you. I don’t need a date to feel validated,” I sighed, hating how exhausting it was to be around her.

Homecoming arrived before we knew it, and I made sure to get ready and leave from Andie’s house instead of mine. I couldn’t put it past my sister to spring a date on me. She had found a way to purchase a third ticket, but I destroyed it when I found it.

When Andie and I arrived, the gym took my breath away. They had stretched long sheets of fabric across the gymnasium’s ceiling. The smoke and dancing lights made the billowing fabric look like clouds floating over our heads. The effect was amazing. The theme was “Somewhere over the Rainbow,” which meant half of the girls here were wearing sparkling red slippers.

I chose to wear black and white striped stockings, paired with four-inch heels decorated with a prominent buckle across the toe box. The effect was a sexy witch’s shoes. Not that anyone saw this, because my dress dusted the floor as I walked.

Andie disappeared as soon as we checked our coats. I would find her later, but for now I just wanted to dance and have fun. I found several girls I knew from class and we hung out together dancing and laughing. We joked about life and the monotony of school. The night was nearly perfect.

Until I saw Kai.

He looked so good in his suit. He was so fucking gorgeous to look at. Unlike the majority of guys at school he kept his hair short with an almost flat top. When he smiled, it filled his eyes and lit up his whole face. I couldn’t help the smile that broke across my face. I waved and started walking toward him, but stopped suddenly when I remembered he had a date.

His arm was around a girl I had never seen before. She was a pretty brunette with bright blue eyes, and looked pissed to see me looking at him. I watched as she pulled his face to hers and started kissing him.

I stopped looking when he didn’t pull away and kissed her back. I wanted to throw up when I remembered I would never be his type. I needed to stop doing this to myself. Kai was never going to give me the time of day. That’s all there was to it. I found Andie, made an excuse about not feeling well and left the dance.

I walked the mile home in my four inch heels. My feet would be destroyed tomorrow, but that didn’t matter. I couldn’t feel anything beyond my broken heart. By the time I walked in the door of my house, the bottom of my dress was frayed from dragging on the pavement, and my make-up was smeared from crying.

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