“We all do. But if it’s Bennett you want, I’ll back off.” He swallows again. “We’llback off,” Flynn’s arms tighten around me in silent protest, enough to make me gasp, but I lift a heavy hand, place it over his heart, and he instantly loosens his grip.
“What?” I ask, frowning, I glance up at Bennett, but he’s not looking at me now, staring down at his feet.
“We’ll be okay with whoever it is you choose to be with, if you want that,” Lynx says, him frowning too now as my gaze returns to his. “We just, we all agree we just want you to be happy, and safe, and if that’s with Bennett, that’s okay, Treasure.”
“No,” I stumble over the word, my tongue thick in my mouth. Bennett’s eyes come to mine, his jaw clenched, “I mean, yes,” I shake my head, pressing the heel of my hand to my temple. “I mean, what?”
My brain feels like it has pins and needles, nothing fucking firing right. I blink hard, fluttering my lashes, trying to get my thoughts together, but I can still feel the drug cocktail in my veins. A brightness that hasn’t finished dying yet. And everything is confusing.
“What I mean is, I’m not choosing anyone.” All of them stare at me with hard eyes as I stumble through my words, panic lodging itself in my throat. “I’m not coming between you. I won’t. And I can’t do that anyway, even if it didn’t, it’s not up to me, I’m just- That’s not what it is.”
“What does that mean?” Raiden asks, stepping closer, his light brown skin glowing warmer beneath the orange light as his abs roll with his deep breath.
“What?” I mumble, licking my dry lips.
“What does ‘it’s not up to me’ mean?” Rex asks, looking between me and King.
My lungs squeeze, not meaning to have said that, I drop my gaze, Flynn’s big hand squeezes my waist gently, I look up at him, sapphire blue eyes dark on mine.
I shake my head unable to find the words, but I can’t help glancing back up at Bennett.
He’s the furthest away, in a pressed, white button up shirt, the sleeves folded up to his elbows. Tattooed, tanned arms exposed, corded with muscle, green veins thick ridges beneath his skin, over the backs of his hands, down his fingers.
“Tell us what that means,” he finally says and it’s like my chest caves in, hearing his voice, a relief.
But he’s still got that hard look on his face, and I’m wondering if he thinksdifferentlyof me now, after tonight. He steps forward, tall, imposing, hard edges, strong, commanding. He’s still moving closer, looming over his brother still crouched down on the floor.
“Lollipop,” he rasps, and I see his nostrils flare. “What does that mean?”
I blink, trying to think of what to say, not knowing if I really have anythingtosay. I wonder if I’m even getting this right, it’s a swirl inside my head, and there’s sickness now, low in my belly, and I press a hand there as I bite down on my teeth, squeeze my eyes shut.
Fingers grip my chin, turning my head, a hand clasping my ankle, and I know who each of those touches belong to. Flynn’s breath is heavy down the back of my neck and I like it, the reminder of him so close. As Bennett turns my face towards him. Lynx squeezing the circle of his fingers around my ankle. Comforting. Coaxing. All of them together.
“I could never choose just one of you,” I say it all without opening my eyes, it feels easier, the pain, to blurt it out without seeing their faces. “But Chris,” Flynn growls at the name, his breath harder against my skin. “He said I was part of a dealbetween his father and mine and that’s why I’m here.” My chest heaves and no one speaks, but I can’t open my eyes.
“We won’t let that happen, Kitten,” Rex says. “We won’t let anyone have you if you don’t want them, even if you don’t want one of us, we won’t let anyone else force you into something you don’t want.”
I lick my lips, slowly opening my eyes, looking between them all, my gaze gliding across each of them, taking them in, brown, grey, red, blue, green, all focused on me.
“It’s not that simple,” I whisper, and a lump lodges itself in my throat, I turn my head, Bennett releasing my chin, turning my head, I blink up at Flynn.
“Is this about Briarmoor?” he rumbles, a line between his black brows.
“Kind of,” my voice trembles, “my father, he has a um,” I suck in a breath. “It’s called a Deputyship.” The room is silent and I keep my eyes on Flynn’s, his dark blue gaze a pool of safety. “It’s called something else here I think-”
“A Conservatorship,” Flynn says, grinding his teeth, “keep going,” he encourages, nodding his head.
“It’s granted to someone, a guardian, or another responsible person, to act on behalf of someone else. Take control of their whole life. Money, health, living arrangements.” I’m speaking to the room, but I don’t look away from Flynn. “He owns me, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
Flynn looks away then, grabbing the side of my face, he presses me into his chest, and even though it hurts my bruised cheek, I let him, because I need it too. The way he holds me like he’ll never let me go.
My breath gets caught in my throat, “That’s another reason why I tried to stay away. I knew it would end in heartbreak one way or another. So when you broke it off with me, it was somewhat of a relief.” Tears run down my cheeks, my bodytrembling in Flynn’s lap. “I knew it couldn’t last.” I suck in a sharp breath, trying to find my composure. “So, please, please stop fighting with each other over me, I'm not worth ruining your lives over. I’ll go back to England if I refuse to cooperate with my father’s plan, which I will. And you will move on with your lives and forget all about the disruption I caused you. I never wanted any of you to fight because of me. And I-” I bite my lip, stopping myself from confessing more, from making even more of a fool of myself.
“And you what, Lollipop?” Bennett rasps, something breaking in his voice.
I roll my eyes onto him, connecting with his, I lick my lips, “Even if I had the option of making my own decisions, I could never choose one of you because I’m in love with all of you.”
Flynn turns to stone beneath me, his grip tightening impossibly around me, making my bones ache. Lynx sucks in a sharp breath, and I see in my periphery as King and Rex move in closer. Bennett’s eyes are hard to read though, he blinks, his jaw clenching, something I’ve never seen before settling in his expression. But then as the other three each place a hand on me, Lynx’s fingers circling back around my ankle, Rex’s going over the top of them as he crouches beside Lynx, tangling their fingers together atop my foot. King leans over Rex, dipping his face to mine, kissing my temple fiercely, all so I can still see Bennett.