The door is closed on me, and I breathe harder, my eyes wide, trying to see in the dark.

I stay quiet as I hear Mummy speak, but she's too far away from me to hear what she's saying.

There's thudding, and I don't move. It's a constant sound, and my mummy cries.

Thud, thud, thud.

Over and over and over, and then there's screaming.

In a panic, I push on the cupboard door. The kitchen is dark too as it opens, and when Mummy first pushed me inside this cupboard it was light outside, the sun warm as its rays fell through the arched glass roof.

I crawl to my feet, my hands cold on the tiles as I push to stand, brushing my hands down my dress. I peek around the corner of the counter, staring down the hall, fingers gripping the edge of the cupboard.

“Mummy?” I whisper, my voice echoing back to me in the dark house.

I stand taller, straightening my spine, being brave, even though I’m frightened.

“Mummy?” I call it now, braver, knowing she would be brave and come and find me. “Mummy!” I smile, even though it’s dark because I spot her, lying on the floor… “Mummy!” I giggle, “what are you doing lying down in the hall?” I place my hands on my hips as I approach, my head cocked to one side,smiling. “Mummy, why are yo-” my bare feet land in something sticky and cold.

Frowning, I lift one foot, trying to see what it is, I touch it with my hand and when I bring it closer to my face, I see what it is. Blood. Like when I cut my knee, but there’s a lot of it on my feet and I haven’t cut my toes. I stumble back a step, peering at the wooden floor, so much of it, all thick and dark and cold, painted around Mummy’s head.

“Mummy?” my bottom lip wobbles, and I’m trying to be brave but tears wet my cheeks and I try to swipe them away but I can’t lift my arms.

There's thudding, and I don't move. It's a constant sound, and I hear my mummy cry even though her eyes are wide open and staring up and there’s no tears on her cheeks.

Thud, thud, thud. I hear it, unsure where the banging is coming from and I clamp my hands over my ears. But it doesn’t stop, the thudding.

Thud, thud, thud.

Over and over and over, and then there's just screaming.

The screaming is me.

Chapter 42

LYNX

Ifucking hate fraternities, but hearing Poppy’s confession earlier when I went back to the dorm with King after practice, her friendsnotslamming the door in our faces, a finger to their lips to keep us quiet. Both of them coaxing answers out of our girl so we could listen from the hall, hear how she really feels. All without her knowing.

It’s what drove me here.

I wanted to choke the life out of her when she threw those pills in her mouth, King’s hand firm across my chest the only thing stopping me, but then she fell to the carpet and I didn’t interfere. I would have made it worse. She would have felt betrayed by her friends. And I never wanna make anything worse for her ever again.

Emma gave me the details of where they’d be, but only sent the textafterthey’d arrived, presumably so I wouldn’t try to stop Poppy going out completely. Which I wouldn’t have tried to do, but Emma’s just protecting her friend and I’m good with that. It means she’s got someone decent in her corner. Besides, I could have found the party in ten seconds flat. I’d only have had to ask around, take a twelve second stroll down Greek row, but asit stands, I waited, like I promised I would, on tenterhooks until the text came through.

Now, a full, warm beer in my hand that I’m not going to drink, I scan over the sea of faces until I find her. Short black dress, arms around her blond friend’s neck, a guy at her back. I want to slit his throat, my fingers squeezing my cup until the plastic cracks, the liquid draining right out of the bottom. I drop the cup, grab my cell and open the group chat.

King

Where the fuck are you, Lynx?

Rex

I wanted to go too!

King

You don’t even know where he is