Page 67 of Lust For

“We only wanted to tell you in person, son,” my dad reminds him. “No one was trying to keep anything from you.”

“I know. But just include me now, will you? I want to know how things are going.”

“It was so nice to see you all,” Mom says, looking around the group as her eyes fill with tears. “Thank you for coming out here to see us and spend some time here. I’m glad we got to share our last time with such great family.”

Everyone goes over to Mom and Dad. Emma has thankfully hung up the phone and is able to hear all of this too.

“We wouldn’t have missed it,” she says softly. “Thank you for having me out here. Not just this time, but all those times. It really meant a lot to me that I could share this time with you all. You made me feel so welcome and like one of your kids. I’ll never forget that.”

“Aw, Emma, you’re like another daughter to me.” Mom wraps her in a hug. “I’m glad you’re here too. You’ve been a great friend to the kids, and a big help these last few days. Now you take care of yourself and don’t be a stranger back in Cary.”

Emma wipes at a tear, moving to my dad and wrapping him in a hug. “Go, fight, win,” she says lowly.

He pulls her in for another hug. “Love you too, kiddo.”

Everyone else hugs Mom and Dad, and then it’s finally my turn.

“Take care, Daddy. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

He gives me a big hug. “Be smart,” he whispers in my ear.

I know he means about Derek. I simply nod and place a kiss on his cheek. “I love you more than anything, Daddy.”

“I love you too, princess.”

Teary-eyed, I make my way over to my mom. “Thank you for everything you’re doing here. I couldn’t have done this without you. I’m so glad I have you.” She hugs me tightly, and it makes me regret feeling the sense of obligation and resentment toward Aiden for not immediately being here.

“You’re welcome, Mom. Anything you need, I’m here.”

“I know,” she says over the lump in her throat.

“Let’s hit the road, huh?” my dad says.

We all say our final goodbyes, then I take in the image of my parents leaving this house one final time and let the tears stream down my face.

“You know I hate to do this, but I’ve gotta go too,” Emma says, wrapping me in a warm hug. “I’ve gotta get back to work.”

“Thanks for being here.”

“Wouldn’t have missed this for the world.” She squeeze me tightly and whispers, “Keep me posted.” Emma hugs everyone else and then makes her way out of the house.

The guys say goodbye to Derek, making him promise to come back soon so they can get recording. Aiden says something to him that I can’t quite here, and my nerves are on edge waiting for a blowup that doesn’t happen.

Brent comes over to me and whispers lowly, “I hope you know what you’re doing.” I promise him that I do, and to that, he says, “I hope it’s worth it all.”

I stare at him for a moment. I think it is but knowing everything that’s at stake here—the band, the friendship—I wonder if I’m making a huge mistake.

The guys are gone, and Derek turns to me. “That look you have on your face tells me the same thing is going through your head that’s going through mine. I’m not sure if this is the right thing anymore either. Aud, I need some time to think.”

With that, Derek leaves me standing on the deck all alone. I look out at the waves as I hear the start of an engine out front, then tires are peeling out of the driveway, and I know he’s gone.

I collapse onto the deck and sob. I sob for my family and wonder if that’s the last time the four of us will all be together like this. I sob because I wish Emma was here to distract me with her humor or her warm embrace. I sob thinking about how Aiden may never understand how I feel about Derek, and that I just might be tearing apart the band that he helped build.

How can living out my dream with the man I’m so sure I love be the thing that could tear everyone else’s world apart? There has to be another way.

With my newfound purpose, I finish cleaning up the house and getting things together for the movers who will show up the day after tomorrow. I get more done today than I needed to, and I’m nowhere closer to figuring out how Derek and I can be together. Because there is no way I can make the Aiden in my head see reason. I hope I’m wrong and all the walls he’ll put up can be broken down. Because for once in my life, being the dutiful one, the one that always follows the rules, should end in some kind of reward. And in my mind that reward is Derek.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

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