Page 32 of Affliction

“What?” Bryce and I said at the same time.

“It’s just a dance, Mia. How bad could it be?” Ally had a smirk on her face as she repeated Terry’s words right back to me.

“Okay. Yeah, sure. Let’s dance.” I took Terry’s hand and allowed him to lead me to the dance floor. “Please don’t try anything.”

It was meant as a warning, but Terry took it as a joke. He threw his head back and laughed. He looked so happy and carefree in the moment. It was about as happy as I’d seen him since he’d been back in LA. It made me smile too. I glanced back at Bryce, and he looked worried. Ally was doing her best to talk to him, but he wasn’t interested. His eyes were glued to Terry and me.

Terry spun me toward him, and all thoughts of Bryce were forgotten when we began to move together to the music. Terry’s hands found my hips, and my hands wound around his neck. I didn’t miss the way his brown eyes lit up as we moved. It felt good to be back in his arms, dancing like this. I tried not to think too much of it as we moved.

Dancing with Terry made me feel more alive than I had in a long time. I loved the feel of his body against mine. I loved the way his arms so gently brushed against my skin. I turned myself so that my back was pushed into him. Slowly, I moved my hips against him. Terry responded to the feel of us grinding together by lowering his mouth down to my neck. He gave it a gentle kiss, and I shivered. His tongue began moving up my neck, making its way to my ear. I smiled in recognition of his familiar, signature move. I knew where this was going. He was marking me, trying to claim me as his. The thought made me laugh bitterly. He didn’t have the right to do this anymore. His hand began moving up my bare thigh to the top of my impossibly short dress.

Stop. This had to stop. Just as his mouth began to close around my ear lobe, I pushed him off me and fled the dance floor. He made a grab for my arm, but I avoided it. Continuing my flee from the floor, I could hear him behind me, calling my name.

He was following me.

I half expected this, but he should have recognized my need for space. After making my way through the swarm of gyrating bodies, I made it off the floor and into a side hallway. It led to a back entrance. I grabbed the handle like it was a lifeline and flung the door open. I stepped out into the cool evening, breathing in a sigh of relief and wondering how much time I had before he came to find me.

I stood in the barely lit alley, breathing in and out, pinching the bridge of my nose, eyes closed, willing him to just stay inside the club. It wouldn’t happen, of course. I heard the door open and quietly close. He was out here. I could hear his shoes crunching on the pavement. Behind my eyelids, I willed him to disappear, but that wasn’t going to happen.

I turned to face him, a fire blazing in my eyes.

“What? What, Terry?” I screamed at him.

The words took him by surprise and caused him to take a step back from me.

“Mia, I...” he began, but his voice faded into the night. The coffee and orgasms Bryce had served me earlier in the evening weren’t helping me keep my cool. Staring at him, I clenched and unclenched my fists. Terry looked so broken. A part of me felt sorry for doing this to him, but the other part, the part that scared me, liked the way it was wreaking havoc on him. Maybe this was his cross to bear for the way he treated me all those years ago.

Time to get this over with,I thought. We were gearing up for another argument. I could feel it.

“I’m not yours. You cannot do this to me. You cannot dance with me like this. Wind me up and expect me to let you. What about Bryce? This isn’t fair to him!”

Terry shook his head. “No, Mia, it’s perfectly fair to Bryce. He’s just a fuck buddy; he’s not your boyfriend. I understand the situation a little better than you think I do. Remember, it’s me. I know your tells. I know when something is off. Bryce is merely a distraction; a plaything to keep you calm and to make me jealous.” The last part Terry bit out bitterly, taking a step toward me. We were now nose to nose. I could feel his breath on my face. He brought his hand up and ran it down the side of my face. Gently, he brought my chin up so that our eyes could meet.

I closed my eyes. I couldn’t look at him. His nearness was doing things to me, and I couldn’t take it. I was burning for him. I needed him. I wanted him to take me home and continue in private what we started on the dance floor. Although, at this point, I didn’t care where we went. I just knew I needed him.

Bryce’s face flashed in my head, and I knew I had to stop this. I couldn’t let Terry touch me again. As if sensing the rush of thoughts inside my head, he lowered his head down so that our lips were almost touching. The battle inside me continued to rage on. I wanted him. God did I want him. But I wasn’t ready to give in so easily. There was still so much that we needed to talk about. Getting right back to the physical stuff would not make those conversations any easier for us. The heat between us would make for some delicious sex, that I was sure of. Not that sex had ever been a problem for us. But the aftermath would burn us, making those much-needed conversations harder and the wounds deeper than they already were.

No, I couldn’t let this happen. Terry’s lips were just about to touch mine when I took a step back. My hand came up and slapped him across the face. Terry stepped back and touched his now red cheek. I watched him, fear in my eyes. Shit. I shouldn’t have done that. What was I thinking? I may have gone too far now, and in my experience, this would end badly for me.

Terry looked astonished as he stood there before me, my hand print on his face. He sighed, watching me. “It’s okay, Mia. It’s okay.” He must have noticed that my fight-or-flight was kicking in, and I was about ready to flee. “I’m not mad. Clearly, this isn’t how I thought this was going to go. And I have half a mind to drag you back in there caveman style and grind on you until you beg for it. Then I would take you home and lose myself in you for hours. But, that’s not what’s going to happen here.”

The idea of losing myself in Terry made me feel weak in the knees.

Terry continued. “I may be a whore, Mia, but I’m your whore. I’ve always been yours.”

“Really? You’re mine?” I asked him bitterly.

“Who else would I belong to?” he asked me as if the answer was as painfully obvious to me as it was to him.

“If you’re mine, then fight for me,” I screamed.

“I don’t have to fight for you. You’re not Bryce’s.” He spit out Bryce’s name like it was a curse. “There is nothing for me to fight for. You’re mine and you always have been.”

“Fuck you!” I screamed. “I’m not yours! How many times do I have to explain this to you? I’M NOT YOURS! You have to fight for me. Show me. Give me something to believe in.”

“Even if I needed to, I couldn’t. I wouldn’t now, not after what you’ve been through.”

“Terry, you ass!” I yelled again, shoving him. “I’m not that girl anymore. You don’t even know what you’re talking about. And this is why I will never explain it to you. You would treat me differently.”

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