Page 12 of Affliction

Chapter Seven

Mia

I sat in our normal booth, Ally across from me, and I was shaking. My legs were curled up underneath me, my hands unable to remain still on the tabletop. I felt like a lost child. I’d felt this way once before, a little less than two years ago.

I blurted the words out so quickly, I wasn’t sure if she understood them. “Terry is back in town, and I’ve seen him twice.”

“I thought he was going to wait for me to tell you,” she told me, watching my reaction to her words. Our eyes met and I could feel the anger radiating off of me. Ally looked guilty, her hands fidgeting on the tabletop before her.

“Terry and I have kept in touch.”

The fury bubbled up to the surface.

“He always calls when he’s coming into the city, and he always asks that I not tell you. Maybe it’s wrong, but he never asks for any details about you. Not like I’d give him any,” Ally explained.

“How long has he been calling you?” I asked. “When—how did this start?”

“Terry didn’t come back to LA for two years after you two broke up. The first time, he was in town promoting his collection of photos he had turned into a book. I ran into him. I knew what it would do to you if you ever ran into him too, so, I set up an arrangement that ensured you two would never have to see each other.”

“And he went along with it?” I asked her, my voice shaking in disbelief.

“Yes, he did. He wanted to see you that day, and I knew that. He was in your neighborhood, and I think he was looking for you, hoping he would run into you. That was right around the time you met...” Her voice trailed off. We both knew to whom she was referring to.

She sighed. “I thought I was helping you by not letting you see him. In hindsight, maybe seeing him would have reminded you that you deserve better.”

She had kept me from the man I had once referred to as the love of my existence—when I had been too drunk to hold it in. I had a million questions. I could tell by the hesitant look on her face—the way her eyes were constantly searching, unable to meet my own—that she wasn’t ready. There would be no question-and-answer session, not when there were more important things to discuss.

“So, you saw him. How did that go?”

“Well, it wasn’t the first time. I’ve seen him countless times, all over the city—at parties, shopping, in museums, or across a crowded airport. He just never knew it. Or maybe he did, and the two of you conspired to make sure I was ‘protected’ or whatever.” I made air quotes around the word protected, rolling my eyes and giving her a wry smile.

“Why haven’t we talked about this before?”

“Wasn’t worth talking about, I suppose. We never actually spoke. I thought maybe you would think I was making something out of nothing. I know I certainly felt like I was.”

“I wouldn’t have thought that.”

I shrugged my shoulders. I didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

“What was it like to see him again?” Ally asked.

“It was scary and brought up a lot of memories. He found me at my Saturday spot, and then he followed me to the park today.” I bit down on my lip as I choked back tears.

“Did you two talk?” she asked.

“Yeah, we talked.” I nearly smiled as I remembered my time with Terry. It had almost been pleasant. That was the thing about Terry: you could be totally pissed at him—and for good reason—but his southern charm was enough to make you forget. At least long enough to have a good time with him.

“We talked about a lot of things, but it also felt like nothing at all. He Googled me. I didn’t know people actually did that.”

“Well, it totally makes sense that he Googled you—he’s still in love with you. He misses you, and I think he regrets his decision. He didn’t mean to hurt you, but he did. Every chance to see you, even from afar, he took. Terry loves you, so he only wants what’s best for you.” Ally leaned back in the booth.

“He Googled me for all those reasons, huh? I swear, you are a hopeless romantic.” I shook my head and watched her. And then, like a spark being ignited, it dawned on me. “You know why he left! He told you,” I muttered quietly. If the diner hadn’t been so dead, she might not have heard me.

“I’m sorry, so very sorry.” Ally teared up as the truth came to light.

“You’re sorry?” I kept shaking my head and repeating it over and over until I finally erupted. “I have been over this with you a thousand times. Trying to figure out why he left. Wondering if there was someone else or if it was something I did. And all this time, you knew why and you never told me! How could you keep this from me?”

“He asked me to. I’m sorry for not telling you,” Ally said as if that was enough.

“So you felt that, after all we’ve been through together, it was more important to keep his secret. You felt that his secret was more important than our friendship?” I was so angry at her for all the pain she had caused me.

“I—”

“No, don’t. You made your choice.” And with that, I left.

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