Page 56 of Dangerously Safe

I don’t miss the nickname, but now’s no time to ask. Instead, I savor how his accent sounds as it rolls off his lips. I reach up and grab both of his wrists. We both cling to one another as if it will help ground us. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Don’t ever apologize for feeling the way you feel.” I can practically feel my heart bursting. Leave it to Mac to tell me exactly what I need to hear. To care for my heart in a way I know only he can. “Are you okay?” Worry still etched across his face.

“I’m okay. I… I just—”

“Panicked,” he says to me. “I know how it feels. I’ve been there.” I look at him in surprise. “Don’t be so shocked, Princess. This is not an easy life. And for someone who feels as deeply as I do, it’s easy to feel out of control.”

I lean forward and rest my forehead against his. Every so often, I feel a stray tear fall from my eyes, but Mac quickly wipes them away.

“But you don’t need to panic, Princess. We have you. You know that, right? You know we will keep you safe. Even from them.”

The word “them” is filled with so much venom. I hate that his father is now part of that word.

“He’s your Dad, Mac.”

“I don’t give a fuck who he is. He’s not getting to you. End of discussion.” The ferocity in his statement lets me know how serious he is. My chin begins to tremble once more as I grip his wrists harder. “I know it’s hard, Princess, but you need to trust me. I won’t let anyone hurt you. Neither will they.”

“I do. I do trust you.” My reply is instant. “But, Mac… what are we going to do?”

“We will figure that out. The four of us. Together.”

“Promise you won’t let them take me?”

“I promise, Mo grá.”

Exhaustion suddenly washes over me. It’s not even noon, and I already feel like I’ve been awake for days. My entire body starts to sag in Mac’s hold. As usual, he knows exactly what I need.

“We can come up with a plan later. Why don’t you get some rest for a few hours.” He kisses my forehead before standing with me in his arms. He walks over to the side of the bed to fold back the covers using one hand. He softly lays me down and pulls the blankets back over my body. Just as he’s about to turn around to walk away, I reach out and grab his hand.

“Will you stay with me?

“You don’t even have to ask, Princess. Let me just tell Finn and Ronan that you’re going to rest for a while. I’ll be right back.”

I feel my eyelids getting heavy as soon as Mac leaves the room. I hear the muffled sound of them speaking in the den as I try to relax. It’s only when I feel Mac climb into bed and pull me to him, when his arms wrap around me tight enough to steal the air from my lungs, that I feel safe enough to fall asleep.

30

Mac

It’s rare that I’m ever thankful for my emotions. I know I feel more than most. It’s who I am. However, why I am this way remains a mystery to everyone, including me. Especially considering the man who raised me feels nothing. My best guess is my saint of a mother rubbed off on me.

While I may not be sorry for it, I wouldn’t say I’m thankful. My strong moral compass has made me endure more in this life than I should. It’s made my father turn me into the killer I am, hoping I would turn it all off. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. Yes, I’ve done his bidding. I’ve gotten my hands bloody to protect my family, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t felt every second. Every drop of blood spilled, every act of violence, every life taken crashes through my body like waves slowly chipping away at stone. I feel it all as if it were happening to me. Ronan and Finn worry it will be my downfall. They may be right. But I refuse to turn it off. As soon as I stop feeling, I’ll be no better than him. I refuse to walk through this life as the monster he tried to turn me into.

But today… Today I’ve never been more relieved to be who I am. It’s why Ronan sent me in here. He knew I could give Harper something neither of them could, and I did. I comforted her.

Me.

I never get to use my “weakness,” as Liam calls it, as a strength. I’m only ever allowed to bring out weaknesses in others. Not today. Today, I was able to help Harper, and I’m beyond relieved because what I just witnessed shook me to my very core. I never want to see her like that again.

As I lay here, staring at the ceiling, with a head full of curls draped across my chest, Harper’s warm breath against my skin, I can’t help but remember all of the times I’ve felt that way. All of the times panic has riddled my body. All the times that my father has made me feel like the walls were closing in around me. Which is why I’m not at all surprised. I’m not surprised that he’s trying to pull something like this. I’ve seen him for who he is since I was a boy. Someone who will take whatever he needs to make himself stronger. Whether it’s stealing his own son’s way of being or plucking an innocent woman from her life. He just takes.

He’s tried to mask it from the world by doing things like taking in Finn all those years ago or “retiring” from the game to live a more relaxed life. It’s all bullshit, and I’m done.

I refuse to let him destroy another person. I refuse to let him destroy Harper.

My phone dings on the nightstand next to me. I see a text message from Finn in our group chat.

Finn: Just ordered us all dinner from the Thai restaurant down the street.

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