Page 33 of Red

The male’s eyes widened. “No? I’m surprised we haven’t seen injuries.”

Arie frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Arie. Of course, you wouldn’t, and naturally your triad is too well-mannered to point out the problem,” Emala explained with a sympathetic smile. “Among the Ragoru the females choose, you see. Males can do nothing but present themselves and wait for her choice. This is compounded by the fact that Ragoru typically choose to mate for life and so are raised to abstain from sexual contact so as not to confuse their mating impulse. This way a female can choose with clarity of mind, and the males will yield to her decision. The rare times that a mating falls apart are devastating and often traumatic for all those involved.”

Arie’s mouth rounded. “That’s why they haven’t initiated anything when we lay together.”

Emala smiled and tapped her nose. “Exactly. But I’m afraid you are in a bit of a pickle.”

Korash snorted from the other side of the room.

“What do you mean?” Arie asked.

The older woman laughed again. “Winter is a funny time for the Ragoru. Did you know that each of my rogs were born around the same time of the year?”

She shook her head silently.

Emala’s smile widened. “It is because Ragoru go into breeding season during the winter when they are denned up with their females. The males can technically go into rut and are fertile at any time of the year, but during the winter they are particularly driven. Normally this isn’t a problem because they are with their mate, who would also be going into heat at this time, but it can be a confusing time for us human women during our first winter with them. The sex is… intense.” She giggled with a blush that made her suddenly seem years younger. Korash chuffed and sent his mate a steamy look that had Arie glancing back down at her work in embarrassment.

She cleared her throat. “So, because I haven’t chosen, they are basically in the male version of going into heat?”

“Exactly. Which makes them very temperamental. There’s nothing worse than cranky Ragoru sniping at each other,” Emala observed with a smirk as she picked up her blade and sharpening stone again. She looked up and arched an eyebrow. “Have you given any thought to how you would like to proceed?”

Choosing meant forever. She’d hoped it would be more like human courtship. The guy offered and then the woman accepted or declined. From what Emala was saying, everything hinged on her making a decision and offering it to them, and that terrified her.

“What are my options?”

The other woman shrugged. “There are three possible solutions. One: you choose them and prepare to enjoy a satisfying winter. Two: you continue as you are and attempt to manage tempers until you are ready to choose or the winter passes, whichever comes first. Three: you do not choose them, and they will likely leave the den to find another place to sleep during the night or bring you here to the shelter of our den, and part ways with you once the snows recede enough to make traveling possible.”

Arie’s heart promptly rebelled against option three. She was scared as hell, but she knew that she did not want that to happen. That just left her with options one and two, which still left everything up to her to make the move. The only difference was whether she would do it now or later. Either way, she would have to conquer her fear of rejection and her terrible case of nerves to accomplish it.

“How can I be sure that they want to mate with me? I don’t want them joining with me just because they feel biological pressure. It would destroy me to only have them that way when I love them.”

She gasped a little at admitting that out loud, but Emala and Korash exchanged pleased looks before regarding her warmly.

Korash sat up and answered for his mate, a broad grin on his face. “Do not concern yourself with that. I have seen the way all three of those males track you with their eyes with every small move you make. They are eager for your choosing.”

Arie nodded and turned back to her work. She focused as much as she could on the task at hand, but her heart wasn’t in it. Not when she was distracted by thoughts of choosing. She had a sudden appreciation for what men must feel when they proposed joining. Her movements became mechanical as she finished her sewing and turned toward sharpening her knife. Her mind drifted with the familiar rhythm of dragging her knife against the sharpening stone that her attention turned to working through various scenarios in her mind. She was so focused on it that she jumped when her blade screeched terribly, jolting her back to her task. She frowned down at her blade and cursed. She’d taken a chip out of the edge. It was no wonder that she had. Her palms were sweaty due to her nervous state, making maintaining a firm grip on her knife rather tricky.

More than that, worrying over the same spot on the blade repeatedly had done more damage than good. Arie sat back and pursed her lips thoughtfully. That was a fair analogy for exactly what she was doing. Going back and forth over what to do wasn’t going to help when she knew what she wanted. All she would end up doing was chipping away at her own self-confidence. She was a mess of nerves, but her lips tipped in a small smile despite that. She’d reached her decision after all.

When Kyx returned a couple hours later, she leaped to her feet and threw her arms around him, hugging him enthusiastically. She was excited to give him the news, but she wanted to wait until she could tell them all together. He gave her a confused look, his head tilting to the side, but didn’t say anything as he helped her bundle up in her furs. His brow pulled down into a puzzled frown when she gave him a bright, nervous grin. She knew she was acting strangely, but the more naturally she attempted to behave, the worse it got.

The walk to their cave seemed longer than normal, and not just because she was walking on her own two feet. The trees kept the worst of the snowfall at bay. Yet with every step, she became more nervous with the knowledge of what she was going to be committing to. It felt right, but that didn’t help that she was now suffering from a last-minute case of nausea that threatened to expel her latest meal as they got closer to the den. The entire time Kyx was giving her uncertain, worried glances despite the fact that she tried repeatedly to reassure him with a small smile or small touch. By the time they entered their cave, however, she had worked herself into something closer to panic. What if she were wrong and they responded to her choosing by staring at her in a state of shocked abhorrence? Gods please don’t let me be wrong.

She felt a little better that, upon stepping inside, Warol greeted with a look of clear pleasure on his face at her return. She gave him a shaky smile, her nerves twisting in her belly. His brow drooped with concern as she stripped off her furs, and he exchanged a worried look with Kyx. Both seemed on edge, reacting to her anxiety. She didn’t feel like she could even manage to stand still, and it made all the males hyperaware, their fur practically standing on end as if they were expecting a threat to come barreling through the entrance at any moment.

Even Rager seemed tense as he attempted to soothe her with gentle touches and nuzzled her cheek. That certainly distracted her from her nervousness! At the heat of his warm breath fanning her neck, an echoing heat, this one of desire, immediately began to curl in her belly.

“Arie, what’s troubling you?” he murmured against her skin.

She shook her head wordlessly, unable to put into precise words all of the desires and doubts that were in her mind, and swallowed as she battled her nerves. She pulled back so that she might better look up at him, and her breath hitched as she saw the exhaustion in his eyes. She’d known that he hadn’t been sleeping well over the last several days as the tension among them had increased, but she didn’t know how bad it had gotten. She rubbed her hand over his jaw.

“Are you okay? You look tired, Rager.”

The corners of his mouth curved, and his eyes lightened. “I am fine, rya.”

She took a deep breath and looked around as Kyx and Warol joined them, their ears standing at attention. She realized they were waiting. Every day, they had the same the expectant look, watching her and waiting, and she hadn’t realized it until that moment.

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