Page 8 of Fate Will Bring You Home

“I like the way you think.”

We showered with an orgasm for her included. I took her to bed and made her scream all over again.

“This. Is. So. Good. Fuck me harder, Lincoln,” she screamed as I was pumping in and out of her. She was so tight that it was hard to fuck her properly. She was a screamer, and it was hurting my ears a little. It wasn’t that sexy kind of scream that she did in the shower when she came on my fingers. This one was a bit like nails on a chalkboard. I switched to eating her out to get her off faster, and she finished me off with a mediocre blow job. I’ll give her a few points for that.

She went to the bathroom to clean up, and I expected her to get dressed and go, but she came out wearing one of the shirts I had hanging in the bathroom. I realized at that moment that we didn’t have the conversation I usually have before getting into bed with a woman.

I’m not afraid to use them and let them use me as long as they know it upfront. That’s not something I should be proud of, but I am. That’s how I like it. I don’t sleep with women more than once because I don’t want attachments. Attachments cause feelings, and feelings cause hurt. My motto is to give each other a good time and move on. No feelings are needed.

I started getting dressed as I talked. “Hey, did you need me to call you a rideshare?” I asked without any emotion hoping she would get the hint.

Her face dropped. “Oh, you don’t want me to stay? We could have some good morning sex.” She smiled and looked hopeful. Now I feel like a complete asshole.

I rubbed the back of my neck, uncertain how to let her down nicely. “I have an early morning, I’m sorry. I need to go to bed. Plus, I’m not a cuddler. I like my space.”

She walked up to me seductively, trying to entice me and change my mind, but it wouldn’t work. I held my hand up to stop her.

“Lauren, I’m sorry. I thought this was just a quick hookup, and I’m sorry I didn’t clarify it. I thought you just wanted some fun because you were just here for a few days.”

She looked embarrassed. She picked up her clothes and went into the bathroom to change. When she returned, I asked again if she wanted me to call a rideshare for her.

“No, I can handle it,” she answered angrily.

She gathered her things, and I walked her to the door. Before she left, she turned around again.

“I know I’m probably double embarrassing myself here, but don’t you even want my number?”

I rubbed the back of my head again. “Lauren, I’m sorry I wasn’t clear. I—”

She held up her hand. “No worries.” She opened the door. “Thanks for the orgasms. Have a nice life.”

She shut the door behind her and I felt the tension leave my body as soon as the lock clicked. That was probably the most awkward encounter I’ve had in a while.

I picked up all the blankets and crap I left everywhere this morning and headed to bed.

The following day I woke up and went for a run. Before going to my house to get ready for the day, I stopped at the main house to grab something. Pops was at the table drinking his coffee.

“Momma leave already?” I asked.

“Yep, I was just about to leave too. Are you good? I was just about to come to check on you.”

I gave him a weird look because he’s not typically asking me if I’m good before he leaves for work. I usually don’t even see him.

“Uh, yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

He gave a sly smile. “I don’t know. Just checking in.”

A smile grew on my face. “Fuck. You heard her?” I was immediately embarrassed. “Shit. Did mom?”

We both started laughing uncontrollably.

“I don’t think so. Mom is a heavy sleeper, you know that. I was in the kitchen getting water when I heard her… but seriously, Link, the neighborhood heard her; what the fuck was that?”

“No idea… sorry you were subjected to that,” I said as both of us continued laughing.

I grabbed some breakfast once he left. Sitting alone always makes me think deeply, so I started thinking about the events of last night more seriously. I’m starting to wonder if I even have the capacity to let anyone try to get close to me. Although I hated being alone, it’s all I’ve ever known. I just don’t have the space in my heart to get hurt.

Sitting there drinking my coffee, I wondered if this would always be what my mornings looked like…tired and alone. Sadly…I think they will.

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