Page 58 of Just a Footnote

Christmas Eve is devastatingly awful, warring for contender to be the worst Christmas of his life. A grand statement considering the Christmas he spent broken, bruised, alone with only doctors to put him back together. He’d take physical pain over whatever pain he currently seems to be suspended in. He picks fights with Archer. He picks fights with Miles.

“Okay, seriously what is your deal?” Miles asks in a hushed whisper when Archer disappears into his bedroom. Late evening now, just the lights from Archer’s haphazardly decorated tree light up the room.

The words get stuck in his throat, but he can’t hold it in anymore. He has to tell someone and Miles is closest and maybe Miles will pity him just enough that he’ll keep the secret from Archer. Maybe Miles will help him know how to end his misery. End this tortured love affair that Aiden regrets all the way down to his core.

“Liam,” Aiden says simply, like that one word is a perfect explanation.

Miles’s eyebrows furrow. “What about Liam?”

“I’m in love with him,” Aiden whispers brokenly.

The truth of the statement settles in his chest with all the weight of a two ton elephant.

Miles’s eyes go wide. He glances towards the bedroom as if to make sure there’s no way Archer could’ve overheard Aiden’s admission. Tension fills the air for a few long moments. Aiden’s momentarily afraid he’s overstepped. Liam is Archer’s best friend and Miles' close friend. He shouldn't have said anything. It’s not like Aiden is anything to Miles. He’s nothing, just Archer’s brother, but in some odd way… Miles is his brother now, probably has been for a while if he’s being honest.

“Does Liam know that?” Miles asks in that simple sort of way that only Miles can.

“No.”

“Okay.”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” Aiden admits softly, defeated.

Miles shifts on the couch, like he’s restless, like he’s trying to give himself the courage to say something. Aiden has no patience for it tonight. He stands in a huff but Miles holds his hands up in a silent plea for Aiden to stay.

“How long?”

“It’s hard to pinpoint,” Aiden says, feeling the words wrap around him like a noose. He grinds his teeth so hard his jaw pops, willing his heart to calm. “Do you know exactly when you fell in love with Archer?”

Miles sighs, deeply, and pinches the bridge of his nose. He looks so much like Archer when he does that. Just pure exasperation.

“Sometime in high school.”

Aiden is momentarily shaken by the insight into their relationship. They both keep it so close to the vest, like it’s a secret but not. Maybe more like a treasure they refuse to share.

“Okay,” Aiden carefully says, rubbing his neck, suddenly deeply uncomfortable with the direction of their talk.

Miles cocks his head to the side. “Why haven’t you told Liam?”

“It’s not about that with us,” Aiden admits. “It was just…boredom. Getting off. Anyway, it doesn’t matter now. He has a girlfriend.”

Miles’s eyebrows furrow even further in confusion.

“Aiden, no—“ Miles starts but stops abruptly at the sound of Archer padding into the living room.

“Secret gossip session?” Archer asks with a teasing lilt to his voice.

“Nope,” Aiden denies, pointedly glaring at Miles in demand for him to keep this secret, comfortable in knowing Miles will take it to his grave. “I’m going to bed.”

Aiden quickly escapes the living room and the conversation. He never wants to repeat that ever again. Actually he’d like that to be the last time he ever says Liam’s name. Although resolute in his waking hours, that promise doesn’t carry over to his dreams. In his dreams, because his mind is a traitorous place, where Liam’s name floats easily from his lips.

Sunlight streams through his window,waking Aiden up at the break of dawn on Christmas morning. He lays there for a long time, thinking about all his bad Christmases, along with his scant handful of good ones. The smell of coffee wafts into his room alerting him to the fact that Archer and Miles are probably already up. Unexpected considering usually they both like to sleep in.

He pulls on a hoodie over his sleep shirt and grabs his glasses from his nightstand. Padding out into the living room, still kind of asleep, his gaze lands on Archer and Miles whispering at the kitchen island. A grin fills Miles' freckled face,while Archer stares at him blankly. A few seconds pass, then Archer smiles, earning him an even bigger grin from Miles.

They’re both disgusting.

“Coffee,” Aiden demands as he plops himself into a chair at the island.

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