Page 79 of Just a Footnote

“I’ve got you,” Liam reassures him.

“Liam.”

Liam looks amused now. “What?”

“I need you. Is that okay?” The question is for Liam as much as for himself. He’s never felt so unsure, so off-footed before. It’s like he’s walking a tightrope between two skyscrapers. The threat of falling is so great, but all he can do is keep walking forward.

“It’s okay, baby.” Liam presses one last final kiss to his lips, then tugs him back towards the balcony. “Sit down. Watch the sunset. I’m going to cook dinner. Do you want something to drink?”

Aiden shakes his head, unable to speak. The sun fallsbehind the mountains, casting the sky in a cotton candy type of pinks and purples. A haze falls over the mountains too. The place is so peaceful and quiet. Aiden can’t help but feel at rest. Relaxed in a way he’s never felt before. His phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out, surprised he even has service here. He snaps a picture of the sunset over the mountains before checking his notifications.

You okay?

I’m okay.

He sendsthe picture to Archer, then realizes for the first time in his life he wasn’t lying. He really is okay. Not much time passes before Liam joins him on the balcony. The sound of a flip being switched echoes around them, then fairy lights light up the roof of the cabin. It’s beautiful.

“Oh.”

“Nice view,” Liam comments as he sits down next to Aiden.

When he glances over to Liam, he finds Liam already staring at him, not the sunset. “Disgusting,”he lies, his stomach full of butterflies.

“Nah, you like it,” Liam teases. He’s right, Aiden does like it. “Hungry?”

Aiden lets himself get pulled inside. The small table by the sliding glass doors has two plates of spaghetti on the table. “Vegan spaghetti?”

“It’s beef. I don’t eat vegan all the time anymore. It was too hard to meet my caloric intake during the season.”

“Interesting.”

Liam pushes him into the chair with gentle hands on his shoulders. He falls into the chair easily, feeling weak, and tiredfrom the shit stain of a day he’s had. The only bright spot is the fact he’s here now with Liam. They eat their dinner in comfortable silence. The spaghetti is good. How had Aiden not known that Liam could cook? Archer and him mostly eat whatever the nutritionist Archer hired makes for him along with their weekly pizza. Reality settles in on him as they eat. The morning with his mother. The flight to Seattle. Allowing himself to feel safe with Liam.

Afterwards, they wash their dishes together in the small kitchen. Liam washes and Aiden dries, more like it. Once the dishes are handled, they just stand and look at each other for a moment. Aiden thinks back to what Matty said to him at the Olympics.Liam is in love with you.

“What are we doing?”

“I’m taking care of you,” Liam says firmly, steadfastly meeting Aiden’s gaze.

No one has ever really taken care of him before, except Liam that time back in college when he was sick. Allowing this behavior is too new, like kindling, he’s afraid if he allows it to go too far it’ll overtake him like wildfire. If he lets Liam take care of him then what will he do when Liam is gone?

“What do you want?”

Liam steps towards him in the small kitchen. “Just that. I want to take care of you. If you’ll let me. Please let me?”

Aiden nods even though he knows he shouldn’t. Wordlessly, they climb up the stairs to the loft. Aiden stands in the middle of the room as Liam slowly undresses him. Nothing about it is heated. Liam’s hands are gentle on him as Aiden steps out of his clothes. Aiden watches on as Liam undresses too. His favorite parts of Liam unveiled from the secrecy of clothing. The strength of him, the arms that somehow hold him up when he wants to fall. The only arms that he’s ever allowed to protect him.

Liam tugs him into the bathroom. The water warms up fast, filling the room with steam. Climbing into the shower together, they take turns washing off using Liam’s body wash that smells so familiar.

“This is why you smell like oranges?” Aiden asks, feeling more like himself. “This entire time I thought maybe you liked to eat oranges.”

“You’ve kissed me a hundred times. Have I ever tasted like oranges?”

Aiden scowls which only earns him a breathy laugh from Liam in return. The tile walls are cold against his back when Liam backs him up against them. Everything’s slick, too slippery, but it doesn’t seem to matter to Liam when he effortlessly picks Aiden up to pin him against the tiled wall. They stare at each other for a moment. Liam’s hands are hot under his thighs. Aiden’s heart feels two sizes too big in his chest.

“Is this what you need?” Liam asks softly even though he already knows the answer.

“No,” Aiden lies firmly.

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