Page 57 of Our Ruined Beginnings

I try not to shiver when she talks about her sex life, my own mind drawing back to Christmas break and flooding me with images of Madden. I’d do well to ignore all of those now. It’s clear we’re never going to be on the same page with all of this … so, maybe going on a date with Evan is the way forward.

It doesn’t have to mean anything, but it might be the final push I need to get Madden out of my head and out of my life.

I brush my palms over my plum-colored dress, swiping away the lint that seems to have gathered on the silk material.

Kinsley helped me pick out this outfit—something that says I’ve made a little bit of effort, but casual enough that it doesn’t screamI’m going out of my way to impress you, because I’m not. If anything, I regret not canceling on Evan earlier this week.

Over the last six days since he asked me out, he’s been constantly in my texts, or finding me in the halls and walking me to class. At first, it was nice. He did what he said he would—keep the bullies away from me.

But I don’t know … something doesn’t feel right about the whole thing.

Yesterday, he tried to hold my hand until I pushed him away and went and hid in the bathroom long after the bell rang. I know he’s trying to be nice, but it’s all too much.

When the knock comes at my door, I groan into my palms, then heave in a deep breath before plastering a smile on my face and grabbing my bag.

“You ready?” Evan asks when I open the door. With a lazy smirk, he leans against the frame with one arm above his head. His eyes roam over every inch of me before his gaze comes back to my face. “Damn, H. You look hot, girl.”

“Thanks,” I grit out. “And yeah. Ready to go?”

I gesture to the hallway, but he doesn’t step back, forcing me to press against him as I move to close my door and lock it behind me. Evan stands too close, his heat wrapping around me as he leans in, his breath hitting my ear as he whispers. I can smell the tang of hard spirits. Has he already had a drink?

“I thought we could try that new Mexican place in the next town over. Apparently, it’s really small and intimate.”

“Sounds good.”

“Come on, then.” He threads his hand through mine, and though it feels wrong, I let him. By the time we reach his car, my body is shaking with anxiety I can’t place. Was it the smell of alcohol on his breath or the idea of our first official date? He goes to open the passenger door, but I step back quickly, twisting my palms together. “You’re not still afraid of cars, are you?” He laughs, despite the fact I clearly am still fucking scared.

“Aren’t you?” I ask, trying to calm my racing heart, though it feels as if it’s about to beat right out of my chest. I’m being stupid. He was there that night—he’d never drive unless he was under the limit.

“Why would I be? I wasn’t the one driving, remember?” He raises his brow, and there’s something akin to glee in eyes as he assesses my discomfort … but that doesn’t seem right. He’s working hard to make sure I’m treated well, and I’m being a bitch, looking for excuses to paint him in a bad light. My stomach roils at the idea of getting into his car again, and I worry I might actually be sick.

“You okay, Harper?” he asks, putting a palm to my forehead, which is now clammy. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I really don’t feel well. I’m sorry, I think I’m gonna—erm—go back upstairs,” I tell him, taking a step backward. “I’m just … sorry. I don’t think tonight will be a good night.”

“Are you still coming with me tomorrow night?” I look blankly at him, and his scowl deepens. “The party? You were gonna be my date?” Oh God. I remember him mentioning it earlier this week, but I don’t think I ever confirmed.

“Sure,” I say noncommittally, the guilt at ditching him at the beginning of this date too much to say no again so soon. “I should go.”

“You gonna run off to Madden?” he asks, his tone bitter, and I frown at his change.

“What? No.” How did Madden get brought into this?

Evan scoffs, his expression growing cold. “Seems that’s what you’ve always done. But when are you going to get it, Harper? Madden doesn’t give a shit about you; he never did. It was easy for him to string you along. Don’t you think you deserve better?”

“I don’t think you know me well enough to say whether I do or don’t,” I bite back, annoyed he’s turned this into something it’s not.

“But I know him,” he says, that lazy smirk crossing his lips again. “Think about it, Harper. I’ll be here when you’re ready to try this again. I always have been…”

My breaths come out in pants as I push through to my dorm room and slam the door closed behind me.

My hands tremble as I flick the deadbolt Kinsley helped me install a few months back, and I drop my forehead to the wood, closing my eyes. Where the fuck does he get off?

Tonight was supposed to be chill, but instead, my gut was right. Evan went too far, just as I thought he would, but in a different way. The way he switched… I shiver as I drop down on my bed, and for once, I’m relieved to be on my own.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Madden

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