Page 44 of Our Ruined Beginnings

Winding my fingers into the curls at the nape of her neck, I use my grip to tilt her head back and deepen the kiss. I take over the pace, claiming her mouth with mine, and she lets me, her hand wrapping around my forearm. When she arches up into me and I can feel all of her pressed along me again, I groan against her lips.

“Lie on the rug,” I say softly, and she immediately does as I close and lock the door. When I return, she looks more on edge than she had before, and I pray to God she hasn’t changed her mind. If you’d asked me yesterday, or even this morning, I’d have said this would never happen. If you’d asked me six months ago, I’d have told you it was inevitable. I wonder what else I’m wrong about now.

Lying next to her, I stroke my fingers down the side of her face. She’s always been beautiful, but here, with a heady mix of hope and lust in her eyes and the flicker of the flames lighting up her skin, she’s damn near ethereal.

“Madden,” she whispers, as I continue tracing her lips, her cheeks, her eyebrows, but I don’t think I can hear whatever she wants to say right now. I feel like I’m flayed wide open and not strong enough to listen. So I kiss her again, silencing her as she rolls onto her back and I follow, covering her body with mine. Her knees fall open effortlessly, and I settle myself between her legs like it’s where I belong. Her hands trail their way up my stomach under my shirt. A shiver runs through me at the feel of her touch, and I block out the thoughts of how long I’ve waited—longed for this.

It doesn’t matter. It’s just for tonight.

The fire warms us and lights the contours of her body as we lose our clothes. My hands caress every inch of her as it becomes uncovered. I want to explore it with my mouth—find every little touch that makes her squirm—but it feels too dangerous. There’s only so much I can take before she drowns me, before I’m too far gone to pull myself up again. If I try hard enough, I can pretend we’re not already there.

When she gasps into my mouth as my hand palms her breast, I can’t resist a taste. I dip my head and take her nipple into my mouth, lathering the skin with my tongue and biting down lightly on the nub. Her back arches as her thighs tighten around my hips, and I grind down against her, relieving just a tiny bit of the pressure building in me.

“Madden,” she moans, tucking a hand between us to grab my dick. It pulses the second she touches it. I groan in response, pulling her hand away and trapping it above her head, grinding against her again to hear another one of those beautiful moans.

“Please.” It’s a whispered plea, but it sounds just as desperate as I feel, and I have to let her go so I can coat myself with the wetness at her core before lining myself up with her entrance.

“Eyes open, Lily,” I demand as I still. I might not get everything forever, but fuck if I’m gonna miss out on this.

They flicker open, and I wait for her to focus on me before pushing inside her snug heat. She immediately clenches around me, and I stop, sawing out just a bit before thrusting back in, sliding deeper with each one. A beautiful gasp escapes her every time, and when I’m finally seated, her mouth opens in an O, her eyes glistening as they remain on me.

“You okay?” I ask.

She rolls her lips between her teeth, nodding her head against the rug. “Perfect.”

I can’t think too much about the meaning of this moment—of what it means to me or how important it is … should be … I don’t know.

Instead, I dip my head and take her lips again, letting us both acclimate to the feeling of me inside her and not moving until I feel her body relax, her muscles softening.

Then I move my hips, thrusting in and out as I swallow the sexy as fuck little sounds Harper makes from underneath me. I knew she’d be perfect. As her sounds increase and her hips rock with mine, my speed picks up. My thrusts become harder, pumping myself into her, and I push her knee up and out to reach deeper with each one.

My head is screaming at me to slow down—that this is too far, a mistake—but it’s not enough to convince me. It doesn’t feel like a mistake; it feels like the most right thing in the world. Harper feels like heaven wrapped around me, and nothing could make me stop right now.

“Madden,” she chokes. “I’m going to come.”

I nearly come right there, on the spot, but somehow manage to hold off. Instead, I snake a hand between us and find the little bundle of nerves, rubbing against it as Harper detonates beneath me.

Her back arches, her head thrown back and her throat exposed, and I get the urge to bite down into the silky column. Her mouth is open on a silent scream, which is just as well, and she clamps down around me like a fucking vice.

I try to fight it, try to draw her all the way through before I go, but I can’t help it. She feels too good, and she milks me dry as I explode inside of her, garbled groans and growls falling from my lips that I press into the side of her neck.

Fuck me. I’m ruined.

Chapter Eighteen

Madden

“Madden,please!”shebegs,tears making her lips wet as she calls my name. “I need you … please.” Her words bleed into my heart as her desperate eyes wreck my soul.I’ve got you, Harper, always.

“Don’t leave me. Please, Madden.” Her sobs have her whole body convulsing as I try to reassure her. I’m not leaving her; I would never.

“Madden,” she screams, my name wrenched from her throat as if she’s in physical pain.I’m here Lily, it’s me and you.So why does she still look so devastated? Why is she fading away, getting smaller? I look down and see my feet walking away from her, taking me farther from her. No, that’s not right. I would never.

“Please!” she wails, her voice breaking on each one. “Please, please…” It feels as if there’s an invisible string pulling me back to her, but it only tugs at my heart—it does nothing to stop my body walking away from her, as much as I try to stop it. I need to stay with her. She needs me.

“Please,” she calls again, and her voice sounds hoarse, her fight broken. “Please!”

I jolt awake, my sheets damp and my heart racing.

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