Page 31 of Our Ruined Beginnings

“Maybe the novelty has worn off now.” We grimace at the same time, neither of us believing that.

“Maybe. But if not, I think it’s time you fought back.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means Harper Delaney is not just some bitch you can push around, right?” She gives me a nudge when I don’t answer, her brow arched. “…right?”

I so want to be that person she sees in me, the one who doesn’t take shit from anyone. She’s me—who I used to be—and I miss her. I’m so sick of punishing myself, and even if I can’t forgive myself just yet, I don’t deserve the whole school punishing me too. I think Kinsley’s right. It’s time.

“Right.”

Chapter Thirteen

Harper

Isleeplikethedead and wake way later than I ever normally do. We’re only a week in, and I’m already emotionally drained.

Dragging myself up, I dress and grab a coffee before deciding to drink it in the fresh air before my midday lecture starts. It’s lovely outside today, the air cooling as we get into fall but the sun still bright. I wander around the lake and try to make myself think positively.

The weather is beautiful.

My classes are interesting.

This campus is gorgeous.

I don’t have spaghetti in my hair anymore.

Yeah, not working so well. I’m making my way to my lecture when my attempt at a peaceful day is effectively ruined. I push open the double doors to the courtyard and want to let them fall straight closed again when I see Madden, his head low as people chatter around him. By the time I move onto anyone else, Bethany has her glare firmly fixed in my direction.

“Hey, Harper,” she says as I get closer, but I don’t respond or even react. I’m planning to ignore her completely, sure this is not going to be something I care to engage in, but she stands and walks into my path just a few feet from where the others are lounging.

“I’m glad I caught you,” she says sweetly, just a little too loud to be natural. Clearly, whatever monologue she’s prepared, she wants anyone around us to hear it. They happily oblige, crowding in around us so close behind me I start to feel on edge. “Just girl to girl, I wanted to give you a heads up. Guys don’t like the bunny-boiler vibe you’re giving off.”

Okay, she’s officially got my attention. What the fuck is she talking about?

“Especially not Madden. I mean, if he didn’t already hate your guts for what you did to his brother, he’s still not into you. I mean, why would he be?” She exaggerates looking me up and down, then scoffs a laugh, and the girls behind her giggle like it’s the funniest thing in the world. The actual funny thing is that nothing she ever said about my appearance would faze me; I don’t give a fuck what she thinks about how I look. If she wanted to hurt me, she should’ve stuck with the taunts about Caleb and Madden. That’s where the knife is.

“Are you done?” I ask, my voice bored. Her eyes harden, but her smile sweetens.

“Look, I’m just trying to be a girl’s girl. Stealing a guy’s clothes and hanging them in your wardrobe is beyond creepy.”

The sparse crowd around us starts to murmur. Apparently, the idea of me harboring someone’s clothing is a big deal, but I can’t focus on them because I know what she’s referring to. I watch her reach into the bag hanging from her shoulder and pull out my DU sweater. “Seriously, stalker behavior or what?”

She thinks I’vestolenMadden’s sweater? I guess the idea of us having matching ones is laughable to anyone who sees the way he acts with me now.

The crowd laughs, but I don’t give a fuck. I’ve whipped it from between her fingers before she has a chance to save it, and I stomp over to where Madden sits, doing and saying absolutely fucking nothing.

I shove the sweater into his chest, but he barely moves from the force and doesn’t try to stop me, his eyes blank as mine flare with rage.

“Here. Haveyoursweater back. I guess it never meant anything anyway.”

His hands stay stubbornly by his side, so I let it fall into his lap and then storm away, my fury making me practically march.

I used to think Madden Taylor would be by my side to fight against anything. What a fucking coward he turned out to be.

I’m not sure if Bethany is stupid enough to genuinely think there can’t be two of the same sweaters in one town or if she just took the chance to make me seem like a laughingstock of a stalker, but he knows the truth. And still, he says nothing.

Leaving without it hurts my heart. What I said isn’t true—it still means everything to me. Even if Caleb isn’t here to mock me for wearing it, it still reminds me of him. Even if Madden hates my guts now, it was still a gift from when he was thinking of me. And I’ll never get any of that back.

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