Page 19 of Our Ruined Beginnings

I wasn’t planning to come at all.

I’ve managed to avoid any kind of social gathering like this over the last couple of months, and thanks to my miserable company, nobody gave enough of a shit to push me on it. But now, with the first party of the year, staying in the dorm wasn’t worth the hassle of dealing with the questions. I’d rather show my face for ten minutes before everyone is too fucked to remember and then sneak out the minute they’re distracted with booze, weed, and chicks.

Based on the girl currently sliding onto Evan’s lap, her arms curling around his neck as she leans in to whisper something into his ear, it seems I’ve timed my appearance perfectly. Within the hour, I’ll be home, watching old reruns ofThe Officeand able to say I survived another first without them … or just him.

As if I’ve summoned her with my thoughts, the party seems to slow, and the air becomes a suffocating mass as a bitter wind whips around us. The bottle in my hand freezes halfway to my mouth, and a tremor runs down my spine as everyone turns to face the neon lights that flicker from the kitchen.

I crane my neck slowly—so fucking slowly—because even without visual confirmation, I know who is standing there right now.

My gaze locks on to her lithe frame and the ease of her gait as she saunters through the kitchen with a red cup in hand. She pauses in the double doors, the light framing her perfectly—the object of every conflicted feeling inside me—and the similarity with the last time I saw her like this nearly knocks me over.

I’ve been watching the doorway for her all night. I know she’ll be here soon—and she’ll join us, no doubt—but I’m eager to get my eyes on her first. It’s not fun without her. Which means the second she appears in the kitchen, I see her, and I seehishand on her lower back. There’s nothing suggestive in his hold … or there wouldn’t be, if he wasn’t touchingmygirl. I recognize him from her year, but I don’t think he’s ever hung out with us before. He’s not a threat—the guys she brings around never are—but that doesn’t stop the itch to break that goddamn hand for daring to touch her.

He finally releases his hold, and her shoulders sag slightly in relief. It wouldn’t be obvious to most, but there isn’t a thing about that girl I wouldn’t notice.

Why are you tolerating his hands on you, Lilypad?

I watch them both, waiting for her to turn and seek me out. The moment her eyes find mine in any room, the brown lights up into a beautiful chocolate. From the moment I met her, it’s been one of my favorite things. This time, though, her eyes don’t meet mine. Instead, she takes the drink from the douchebag’s outstretched hand and gives him that pretty smile of hers that shows her dimples.

My lips twitch at the sides, and I cock my head for a beat, watching. She knows I am. She always knows. So, when I bring two fingers to my mouth, I see the way her hand tightens around her cup in anticipation.

“Jesus Christ.” Evan flinches at the shrill whistle that comes from me.

Ignoring him, I watch as Harper’s face whips straight to me, as if she knew where I was all this time. I see the way her grin widens, even as half the party stares at her thanks to my announcement of her arrival. I also see the way she takes me in, her gaze raking across where I lounge against the chair. She tries to hide it, though, snapping her gaze quickly back to mine, but I think I’m just about done pretending this isn’t exactly what it is.

Without any subtlety, I let myself drink her in. Her endless tan legs, the perfect curve of her hips, the heave of her chest… until I reach her eyes again, and I know if I held my palm to her cheek, I’d feel the heat radiating from her. I want her to come to me—to ignore whatshisname and spend the night with me.

She doesn’t, though. That would be too easy.

If Harper and I are anything, it’s not easy. We’ve been pushing and pulling, tolerating and craving each other for way too long. So, in trueusfashion, instead of giving me what I want, she does the exact opposite. She turns away, grabs his hand, and disappears back into the house. It’s like she wants me to chase her, knowing I’ll hunt her down. Yes I fucking will.

Evan clumsily shoving his shoulder into mine brings me back to the present, and she’s gone.

“Still got as much nerve as ever, I guess,” he says, nodding toward the outside bar, where Harper pretends not to notice that every pair of eyes is trained on her. She’s chatting to Kinsley and a couple of others, dressed to the nines in a little black dress and heels, and seems wholly unaffected. But I know better. Her hands remain by her sides when she talks instead of waving animatedly, and her smile is tight, not wide and free like it usually is.

The stark difference between the past and now has anger stoking inside me. She took that from me—from us. We would’ve been so perfect, so right, if we’d just had the time. I had my whole life ahead of me, and I hadn’t truly accepted that my life was intertwined with Harper’s until she was wrenched away from me, and it’s all her fault.

“Can you believe that bitch?” Bethany scoffs as she joins us, leaning an arm around my shoulder as she stands next to my chair. Her skin feels like ice through my T-shirt, making the urge to shrug her off overwhelming. “I think she’s got something planned, you know,” she says conspiratorially, and the other girls lean in like they’re sharing world secrets.

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, but earlier, she gave me the most evil smirk, andshestepped out in front ofmycar—almost like she wanted me to crash!” There’s a dramatic intake of breath as the girls listen to her, but I can’t find the inclination to get involved. Bethany nods fervently. “I know!”

“And now she’s turned up at your house?” Evan goads, his words slurring just a bit at the end of his sentence. Oh, so it’sherparty. “What are you gonna do about it?” Bethany’s shoulders straighten, and she finally drops her hand from me.

“Wait and see.” She smirks as she saunters away from the group. Her hips sway dramatically, as if she were walking on a catwalk, and the crowd around the pool zeros in on her movements, sensing the imminent drama.

Kinsley looks to her right before Harper acknowledges the crowd, and I see the set of her shoulders before she finally turns.

The music quietens a couple notches as Bethany stops before her, but their words are too quiet to hear from this distance. I don’t need to hear them to see the way Bethany’s lips twist in annoyance and a flush creeps over her face. Whatever conversation is being exchanged between the two, it’s clear Harper is the one in control, despite Bethany’s intent to rile her up and put on a show.

There’s a soft smirk playing on Harper’s lips, one that has my body responding before my mind can catch up. My feet start moving across the floor, but before I can reach the girls and sate my curiosity, Bethany’s hands fly out in anger, slapping against Harper’s chest. Gasps and barks of laughter echo through the air as Harper falls backward … straight into the pool.

My body jerks to get to her—a muscle-memory reaction to seeing her need help—but I force myself to remain where I am, every limb taut and tense. It’s fine, she’s fine. It’s nothing she doesn’t deserve. Which works while she’s under the water, but it all goes to hell when the top of her head breaches the surface and Bethany shoves it back under before she can so much as take a breath.

In that moment, there’s nothing that could stop me getting to her. In that moment, she’s not the girl who ruined everything—not the idiot who drove a car high as a kite; not the girl who took everything from me. She’s Harper … the girl I’ve known forever and thought would be my future.

Making it over to the crowd in a few strides, I shove my way past with jagged elbows and grab at Bethany, pulling her back so fast she falls into me.

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