Page 77 of Letting it Ride

I nod. It’s faded over the years, but it’ll never go away completely.

Addie looks like she’s thinking. Her brow wrinkles. “So… what does that have to do with dating me? It was forever ago.” Then something shifts in her expression. “Wait, isthatwhy you don’t drink? Oh God, Cam. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have beendrinking in front of you. I had no idea. Shit. I wouldn’t have done that if I’d known.”

I just stare at her. She thinksshe’sthe one in the wrong here?

“Addie, no. You can do whatever you want, I don’t mind. And yes, it’s why I don’t drink, but I don’t mind when other people do. It’s more a combination of that and the fact that my dad was an alcoholic. He hasn’t had a drink since I was really little, but he’s always been open about it with us, so he was super upset when he found out about all of this. I think that’s why they took it so badly.”

Addie puts her arms around me. “Cam, I don’t care what you did when you were in college. You were a different person. I was, too. Everyone makes mistakes when they’re young. What matters is how you move on from them.”

She still isn’t getting it. My voice catches in my throat as I say, “Ellie said… she said that was why she was having a baby with another guy. Maybe it was an accident, but she said that with my past she didn’t trust me to be the father her kid needed. And I know it wasn’t fair to start something with you without telling you everything. I know you’re going to see me differently now. I was hoping it wouldn’t have to come up, but…”

Addie pulls away from me, just like I knew she would.

Like my parents did after the DUI.

Like Ellie.

But Addie is still looking right at me. “What the actualfuck, Cam?”

I blink. Once, twice. “I, uh…”

The hurricane is back, and now it’s directed squarely at me for the second time today. Addie’s eyes are less of a sweet honey-brown now and more like twin flames staring at me. “Howdareyou lump me in with her? And how dare you writeusoff like that, just because of something stupid she said? Who knows if she even meant it?”

“She did,” I insist, but Addie’s already firing up again.

“You have no way of knowing that. Even if she did, it hasnothingto do with me. I get that she did a number on you, and you thought you had more time to get over it before you started something new. And if you need me to, I can back off until you’re ready. But I’m not leaving, Cam. And I’m pissed that you would think I’d end the best thing I’ve ever had because of some stupid thing you did over ten years ago.”

I’m stunned into silence.

“And Jesus, Cam. Stop punishing yourself forsomething you did back before you had a fully formed frontal lobe. Kids make mistakes. And you were a kid. You don’t have to let it ruin your life. If you don’t want to drink, don’t drink. It shouldn’t matter to anyone. It sure as shit doesn’t matter to me. But don’t use it as a way to tether yourself to the past.”

I can’t take my eyes off of her. Her hair is a tangled mess, and her makeup is smudged below her eyes. She’s clutching the sheet to her chest with one hand while she uses the other to gesture dramatically to make her point. She looks absolutely nuts.

And fuck, I’ve never seen anything more gorgeous.

Her phone rings again from the floor, where it’s in her jeans pocket. She ignored it the first two times, but now her gaze darts that direction. “Crap. If they’re calling three times, it might be important. Let me get that.”

She pulls the sheet with her while she retrieves the phone and puts it on speaker. “Hello?”

I just lean back on the pillow, content to watch her. I could spend the rest of my life watching her and be the happiest man in the world.

A woman’s voice emanates from the speaker. “Miss Anderson. Am I understanding correctly that you walked out of the prom committee meeting?”

“Uh, yes, I did leave the meeting abruptly,” she says.

I can almost hear the lady frown through the phone. “Miss Anderson, that’s very unprofessional. It’s not like you to walk away from your responsibilities.”

Addie looks at me with a small smile on her face. “You know, Patricia, I’ve considered this some more, and I’m not able to take this on. Thank you for thinking of me, though.”

There’s a momentary silence. I don’t think Addie has ever said no like this. It’s a big step.

“We really need someone, Addison. Are you sure you can’t help us with this?”

“Unfortunately, my answer is no. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Addie ends the call and lets out a long breath.

“You okay?” I ask.

She nods after a moment. “That was my vice principal. She asked me to be the senior class advisor and I originally said yes, because you know I can’t say no when someone needs something. And then this afternoon when I got your text, I left in the middle of the meeting.” She cringes. “I never do stuff like that. Never. But I’ve been thinking about how I go out of my way to make people happy, and how maybe Ishouldn’t all the time. Maybe it’s time to prioritize me and my needs.”

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