Page 11 of Letting it Ride

But this week I can be whoever I want to be. Amaturewoman. Someone who knows how to change lightbulbs and fill a gas tank and say no to people asking me to sacrifice my time and energy to do things like take over planning prom.

I close the apartment door behind me and head over to the elevator. We’re officially on spring break now.

5

CAM

Ican do this, right?

I stare at the small dark screen for a few more seconds.

People lived for hundreds of years without phones at all, and then for decades without smartphones. I can leave my phone in the car. I don’t need it on the airplane, and I can live without it while I’m on this cruise.

It’ll also make sure I don’t get any messages from She Who Shall Not Be Named.

I check my messages again to make sure I haven’t missed anything. What if there were an emergency? Then, surely, I’d need a phone.

I’ve been looking forward to this cruise for months. Ever since I came across this opportunity inthe first place, even before we got accepted, my plan has been to leave my phone behind. I was going to let everyone know I was going off-grid for a few days so they wouldn’t freak out if I didn’t answer a text, and then just live in the moment.

The living in the moment thing was only part of the goal, to be honest. I’m also not sure about international data plans and roaming fees and whatnot. So it’s also a bit financially motivated. I make good money with poker, even with my recent bad run, but you never know when your luck is going to run out.

Now that the moment’s here, though, I’m not so sure I want to live in it.

What if someone needs to reach me, someone who doesn’t know I’m leaving my phone behind?

Or what if I need to… check social media?

Okay, not a good reason, since I don’t even have accounts on any of the platforms. But I could, if I wanted to. And maybe I don’t have any good reason to hang onto my phone. But for safety, I decide I’m going to compromise. Bring it along, but turn it off.

My thumb holds down the button to turn the phone all the way off before I toss it into my duffel bag. It can stay there until we reach the shore on the way back.

My plane takes off for Miami in two hours, which gives me plenty of time to get from the parking garage to the terminal and pass through security with enough time to relax without feeling stressed. I’m leaving tonight and staying in a hotel, so I don’t have to rush to make it to the ship tomorrow.

I’m not sure when Maddox is getting here, but he’s an adult and can figure out things on his own. He’s probably flying in tomorrow morning, cutting it close as usual. He’s been so busy with his wedding to Holly that I haven’t wanted to bother him.

Goddamn people in love.

He’s missing out, if you ask me. He’s dealing with making sure Holly is happy and cleaning up after the dog they adopted, while I’m people watching and browsing through the airport bookstore in search of something to read on my three-hour flight. Maybe not the most exciting stuff, but I’m happy. And not stressed about making my flight.

I settle on a murder mystery just as an overhead speaker announces that they’re starting toboard my flight.

I settle on the bed in my hotel room, shirtless, with the box of food and the TV remote in my hand. Unwilling to eat in a restaurant alone, I ended up ordering a pizza that I had delivered to the hotel. It’s familiar and comfortable after the weeks of wallowing in misery.

Eating delivery while shirtless, that is. It’s been so long since I’ve watched cable TV that I almost don’t remember what’s on each channel. I’ve eaten two slices of pizza—extra sauce, extra cheese, and pineapple—before I settle on a movie on the Hallmark channel.

My mom loves Hallmark movies, and I grew up watching them with her. I’m pretty sure she wanted a daughter, but after three boys, she gave up trying and just did the girl things with the three of us.

For example: Have you ever had a pedicure? It’s a magical experience. Every man should try it at least once. I tried to take Maddox with me to get one shortly after we graduated from college and were trying to figure out our lives. He told me, in no uncertain terms, that pedicures are not an appropriate bonding experience for bros.

He’s the one missing out, if you ask me. I wiggle my bare toes. I’m an adult now, which means I can go get a pedicure whenever I want—and I did, just in time for this cruise. There’s not a callous in sight.

I grab another slice out of the box and take a bite asthe main characters are torn apart by a miscommunication that could have been avoided if they’d only talk to one another like adults.

Maybe when I’m ready for another relationship, I should look for a girl who’s a talker. The more you talk, the less likely you are to miscommunicate, right? I let out a snort of laughter as I think of Addison, Maddox’s sister. She’s a talker. I’d bet any guy she dates knows exactly where she stands. I can picture her laying it all out there during one of her epic tirades.

I shake my head with a grunt. Why does the idea of Addie dating someone bother me? It shouldn’t matter to me one way or another if Addie’s in a relationship, other than making sure the guy she’s with treats her like a princess.

She’s a sweet girl and deserves the world. Just off-limits for me. It’s always been that way.

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