Page 71 of Going All In

“Good. Again.”

We repeat the cycle five times, and it actually helps. By the time I blow out the last big breath, my heart has slowed somewhat.

I’m still going to be fucking stressed all day, though.

He tips my face up with two of his fingers under my chin. “This is a happy day, remember? You could show up to that wedding wearing ripped jeans and they’d just be happy you’re there. We’re not going to stress. We can keep our relationship to ourselves and tell people after. There’s no reason to involve your relatives that, from what I can tell, are not nice people. Okay?”

I take another deep breath and nod when he releases my chin.

“Now, put some clothes on and I’ll drive you home. And it’s Christmas Eve,” he points out, his logic calming. “There’s not much traffic right now.”

* * *

Thank God for JJ.

As soon as I walked into the apartment in last night’s wrinkled dress, she jumped into action, ready to help with makeup and hair while I filled her in on last night’s events.

“More details. Does he talk dirty? How is he with his hands?”

I close my eyes and smirk, doing my best to hold still as she lines my eyes with liquid liner. “He knows what to say. And as far as his hands… let’s just say I’m very happy.”

JJ squeals as she moves to the other eye.

I know Maddox is right, that my dad and Judy wouldn’t care what I look like, but it’s not just them I want to look good for. I want to see that look on Maddox’s face again. When his jaw drops slightly and his eyes widen, and it’s all because of me.

“Are you staying at the hotel tonight?” JJ asks, moving on to the mascara.

I almost shrug and stop myself at the last minute. I don’t want to smear the makeup that JJ has so painstakingly done while my hair sets in hot rollers. “I… maybe? Maddox and I are going to spend the night together, but I didn’t get a chance to ask him if we were going to his place or staying at the hotel tonight. I was in too much of a hurry this morning.”

Because we slept in after staying up fucking half the night. But I want him again.

“Okay, open,” JJ says, finished with mascara. She has a smirk on her face that says she knows exactly why we were running late. She hands me a tube of lipstick. “Here. Do your lips while I take the rollers out. You’re going to knock his socks off. And maybe his pants, too. If you’re lucky.”

24

HOLLY

After much debate on the merits of driving versus just taking an Uber, I settle on driving myself to the wedding. Maddox was right about there not being much traffic, but the snow is starting to come down, and I wish for the three millionth time that I drove a car with four-wheel drive.

I probably should have asked Maddox for a ride again. He drives a Subaru STI. It’s a sporty little car that looks fast but also has all-wheel drive, and it would certainly be better in snow than this one with its tires that are a year past needing to be replaced. I tap my brakes again. It’s also hard to drive in heels, especially when your toes are frozen.

But my dress for today is still fabulous. I felt like a princess putting it on.

I pause at a stoplight and sneak a peek down at the dress, where the skirt comes out from underneath my huge puffy coat. I hope everything goes well today. It’s supposed to be a simple ceremony, short and sweet.

I haven’t talked to my dad since last night. I cross my fingers that I can get there in time to talk with him before everything gets crazy. I know he didn’t mean to upset me, and it makes sense that he and Judy would move in together now that they’re getting married. It just hadn’t dawned on me before then what that meant for the house, and I wasn’t ready to hear it. I’m still not really ready to process it, if I’m being honest. But that’s life, right? Things change, for better or worse, and we move on as best we can.

I squint through the falling snow, trying to keep the car on the road. The snow is really coming down.

“Turn left at the next light,” my GPS instructs.

I do my best to focus on driving safely in the snow while also trying to get there on time, but what I really want to think about is Maddox. I’m in love with him. Is it too fast? Is it too soon to say it?

And how in the world are we going to hide our relationship today, when all I want to do is be with him all the time?

* * *

I feel like I’d be nervous on my wedding day. How do you know if you’re making the right choice? What if your betrothed changes their mind at the last minute? How do you calm those wedding day jitters?

---