Page 22 of Going All In

Simply unwavering support. Acknowledgement of my feelings. Understanding.

I wipe away yet another stray tear. “Dammit, Maddox. How do you always know the right thing to say?”

He finally grins, one side of his lips pulling up. “Years of practice. And… two sisters.”

A laugh bubbles up, getting mixed up with the remnants of a sob.

His eyes crinkle with a smile. “So. How was the date for real?”

* * *

I feel lighter, somehow, after talking to Maddox. It’s refreshing. I’ve never been one to have male friends, or lots of friends in general. I find my person or people and stick with them through thick and thin, and JJ—my ride or die—is more of a fixer. She wants to offer solutions, not just listen.

The guys I’ve dated in the past were never ones for conversation like this, either. So maybe it’s less of a guy thing and more just a Maddox thing.

I can’t believe I cried on the phone with him. It must be getting close to my period. I go through this emotional roller coaster about once a month. And it usually coincides with me being hornier than usual.

I squeeze my thighs together. Yep, definitely that time of the month. That’s got to be the explanation for all of this. The hormones have to be responsible for my tears and the fact that I want to go over to Maddox’s apartment and jump his bones right now.

But we’re friends. We don’t fuck anymore.

When I’m in this mood, it’s impossible to sleep unless I get some, shall we say, relief. I put my phone on the nightstand face-down, so the FBI can’t see what I’m about to do, on the off chance that they really do spy on everyone through our phone cameras. You never know.

I pull open the top drawer of my nightstand and root until my hand closes on silicone.

My trusty rabbit vibrator. The hot pink one that JJ made me buy the time she dragged me to a sex toy party back in grad school. I told her I would never forgive her for embarrassing me like that. Until I tried it.

I mean, I’m still never going to forgive her for mortifying me like that. But this little rabbit didn’t turn out to be such a bad purchase after all.

I send an exploratory hand between my legs. Yep, no need for lube. I slide the vibrator inside me slowly, turning on both the twisting and vibrating functions.

My eyes roll back in my head. Oh God. I arch as the sensations start to spread over me, the rabbit bringing a quick and reliable orgasm, faster than any guy out there.

Another climax builds right on the tails of the first one. And it has nothing to do with Maddox. It’s not his dick that I’m imagining inside me, thrusting so deep that I have to bite my lip to keep from moaning out loud. It’s not his voice I’m hearing in my mind. And it’s definitely not his face I’m picturing as I come, over and over and over.

Not. At. All.

8

MADDOX

“Call.” I toss chips into the pile, matching the current bet.

My adrenaline pulses through me the way it always does at a big tournament. I sit on the edge of my seat, never letting myself get too comfortable. I’m looking at a pair of eights. Not the best pair of hole cards, but as I study the other players’ faces, it’s clear that no one else has anything going for them either.

One by one, players fold as we make our way around the table until there are only three of us left. The dealer lays out the three cards of the flop: queen, ace, nine, all different suits.

I still have nothing, but neither do any of these guys. I can tell by their expressions, but more importantly, the cards don’t lie. I know the odds.

The man next to me checks, staying in without putting any money in the pot. I raise. Time to see who’s going to call my bluff.

Player number three folds like a pansy.

Player one calls my bet, and the dealer puts down the turn. A queen. I’m looking at two pair. I watch the other player carefully.

He checks again, confirming my theory. He’s got nothing.

I look at my cards, at the community cards laid out on the table, then back at player one, like I’m contemplating a big decision, even though I’ve had this plan since before the hole cards were dealt.

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