Page 5 of Before the Storm

The dimly lit bar was abuzz with laughter, clinking glasses, and the low hum of conversations. There was faint background music, some sort ofrock nacionalthat I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I scanned the crowded room until I saw Pilar, her phone in her hand, typing away at something. Her nose was scrunched in concentration. She was sitting with her back against the window, the soft glow from the streetlights casting a warm halo around her. She looked up as I approached, a bright grin lighting up her face. Her green eyes shone even in the dim setting.

“Pili,” I greeted with a smile, kissing her cheek and thenpulling out the chair across from her. “Sorry about that. Work stuff.”

“Oh, no worries. I just got here,” she replied, gesturing with her hand. She flipped her phone over on the table, sliding it slightly inwards towards the center. I scanned the room while I settled on the seat, placing my backpack on the floor by my feet.

“Chicos,” the waitress said from right next to us. “What can I get you?”

“I think we’ll have beers, yes?” Pilar said, glancing at me and then smiling back to the waitress.

“You got it.” She rapped her knuckles on the table and took off in the direction of the bar, then loaded up her tray with a few drinks that were resting by the register.

“So,” Pilar said, her forearms resting on the table and her upper body leaning towards me. She had a big smile on her face, and her cheeks were slightly flushed. Even in the soft light of the bar, the smattering of freckles across her nose was visible. “Any big plans for New Year’s?”

My chest tightened for a second, releasing after I rubbed it with my right hand. I closed my eyes, hoping I could blink away the memories and the pain that were brought on by what she had just said.

“I’m heading to Córdoba for a friend’s wedding, then staying for a few weeks,” I said awkwardly. What was I thinking when I agreed to drinks with this woman? I was going to be gone for at least a month, if not more. This was stupid. “To a small town up in the mountains. I’m excited.”

“Oh,” she said. A look of confusion flashed on her face for a moment, and then she chuckled lightly, shaking her head. “Well, that sounds like an adventure.”

“Yeah, it should be interesting,” I replied, taking a sip of the cold beer that had just arrived at our table. The condensation on the glass felt cool against my fingertips. Pilar took a sip of her own beer, her gaze never leaving mine.

For the next hour, our conversation flowed easily, drifting from work to personal interests to plans for the summer. Pilar had a contagious laugh, and her easygoing nature made it surprisingly easy to forget the weight that had been pressing on me.

“You want to head to my house?” she asked, the tips of her ears turning red. She looked away for a moment, then laughed at herself, almost like she was surprised by her own question. I checked my watch, realizing that I needed to wrap things up, even though I knew I was going to decline her invitation. Maybe this was the polite thing to do, to shut her down gently.

“Ah,” I said, running a hand through my hair and squeezing the back of my neck. “I have to leave early tomorrow. So, a rain check?”

“Oh. No problem,” Pilar replied, smiling. She took out her wallet and dropped a few bills on the table, and I matched what she did. She stood, grabbing her purse from where it was hanging on the chair and shoving her phone haphazardly inside. I followed her to the front of the bar, thenight air refreshing after the time we’d spent inside. “Maybe we can catch up when you’re back in town.”

My heart sank. Not because this was particularly heart-wrenching. But because I felt a little guilty. That maybe I had led her on, made her believe this was more than just friendly drinks. I was just not into this whole dating thing. Hadn’t been for more than three years now.

“I—” I started to say, but she interrupted me.

“I get it. That’s okay.” She smiled a little and shifted her weight from foot to foot. She leaned her body towards me and gave me a friendly hug. “Igual me divertí.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. It had been fun. A momentary distraction.

But as soon as the distraction was over, my mind hovered around the anniversary of my sister’s death.

4

LUCÍA

I blinked,and the first thing I noticed was the strong smell. The window was open, and the cool breeze of the early morning was sweeping in, hitting my arms and giving me goosebumps all over. The sun wasn’t out yet, and the color of the sky was a deep blue with a few twinges of gold. I tucked my arms inside the covers and tried to muffle the sounds from outside with my pillow, but my brain was already wired and going straight to my to-do list.

“What is that noise?” I said out loud, hoping someone would hear me call out. I wasn’t ready to get out of bed, especially since I didn’t have to be in the office that morning.

Valentina and I had decided, as soon as Dr. Martín retired, that it didn’t make sense to open the practice early every morning during the week since we had to accommodate a few patients that could only come in the evenings. Sotwice a week, we had the morning off but stayed late in the office. And on those days, I usually stayed in bed for as long as I could. Some days, I was successful in going back to sleep. But others, like today, the thoughts started consuming me early.

The date was slowly creeping up on me. It was all-dominating. And the closer we got, the harder it was to breathe through the blips and the memories.

I remembered her like it was yesterday. Her brown hair was still growing back after the previous round of chemo she had had a year earlier. I was hoping to specialize in pediatric oncology after residency, so Dr. Varela, the head of the pediatrics service, had assigned me a few patients as a way of getting my feet wet. I wasn’t necessarily tasked with anything cancer-related, but I did look at her regularly, analyzing her chart and checking her stats consistently to make sure she was on the right track with her treatment.

I knocked softly on the door and let myself in. There was a crucifix hanging smack dab in the middle of the wall, immediately across from the bed. It was impossible to ignore it, and it was by design. A little hope for the patients to hold on to, even though some of them were too young to know what it represented.

Her petite body was in the middle of the bed, her chest rising and falling in a steady pattern. The heart rate monitor threw back uniform stats. Her color was improving, which was a wonderful thing because she had gone through a lot in recent months. In and out of the hospital forchemotherapy. A chaotic family life. It was all the nurses talked about.

I could hear voices right outside the door, probably some of the staff catching up on a slow evening. It was my least favorite time of day, when everything was still and quiet and there was not much to do, too early still for my body to go to sleep in the on-call rooms.

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