Page 4 of If You Dare

“Too bad, she’s forbidden.”

I don’t really give a shit who Chloe does and doesn’t want me to be with. I’ll never be interested in that shit again after what Britt did. I’m focusing on college, hockey, friends, family, and fucking. That’s it. Messing around with relationships and feelings and all that bullshit is the fastest way to fuck with your head and screw everything up. Not making that mistake again.

“Why would you think I’d be into her anyway? I just met the girl.”

“So why are you following her around like a stalker?” Chloe waves over her head, catching Violet’s eye.

She smiles and heads our way. My stupid heart stutters. “Making sure she’s not some psycho who will kill you in your sleep.”

Chloe side-eyes me. “I know you, Wes. You’ve never looked at a girl like that.”

Chapter4

After

Violet

Returningto Diamond University was not in my plans. But Mom paid my legal fees and this is where she said I’m going, so I’m here.

“Don’t forget your box of books.” Mom doesn’t look at me when she says it. I can’t remember the last time she made eye contact with me.

My only friends in the world now exist inside these books.

Chloe should be here. We should be starting our sophomore year of college together and sharing a dorm room.

But I ruined that. I took away her future. Her life.

We’ll never have boyfriends together like we vowed to at the end of last semester. She’ll never get to read that book I keep saying I’m going to write. We’ll never giggle over our favorite smutty scenes again or fangirl over our latest celebrity crush.

This year, my roommate is a stranger. Probably a freshman from the looks of her side of the dorm. She’s already decorated her bed, desk, and wall with bright colors and soccer memorabilia. So bright and cheery, it makes me want to puke.

I begged Mom to let me go anywhere other than Diamond and tried to convince her that I can be an English major anywhere, but she doesn’t want to deal with the hassle of me transferring. I chose Diamond University—or, more accurately, Diamond chose me for a full-ride—and according to her, I need to stick it out. Since I’m destitute without her, I don’t have a choice.

While families in other dorms chat and laugh and cry, Mom and I stay silent while we move my boxes and bags into the room. Last year, Chloe and Wes helped us move my stuff in. I was so nervous, a doe-eyed freshman with no idea what the next year held in store for her.

I’d give anything to go back to that time. To try to undo the timeline of events that got me here, without Chloe.

As soon as all my stuff is in the dorm, Mom hovers awkwardly in the middle of the room while digging through her purse.

“Thanks for helping me move in,” I manage.

Someone outside the room squeals and a tall girl breezes in.

My roommate is absolutely stunning. Beautiful, flowing black hair and radiant skin, outshone only by her bright smile. Last year, her beauty would’ve stirred envy in my stomach. Now I can’t bring myself to feel anything at all.

“Hey! I’m Aneesa.” I expect her to jut her hand out for a shake, but she wraps me in a hug instead, her flowery perfume suffocating.

Last time someone hugged me, I was in the hospital and shivering with a towel wrapped around my shoulders, still in nothing but my wet swimsuit. Mom was crying with me in her arms. I couldn’t bring myself to shed tears for Chloe yet. Her death still hadn’t hit me.

Sometimes, it still hasn’t.

Aneesa pulls back but keeps her hands on my shoulders. “You’re a sophomore, right? English major? I looked you up.”

I manage a weak smile. “Right.” The reminder stings. An English major who hasn’t written a word or cracked open a book in months. My two greatest passions for my entire life, and I haven’t felt a pull toward either of them since she died.

Aneesa releases me. “I’m a freshman. Bio major, pre-med.” She flashes a smile at Mom. A beautiful genius who’s accustomed to validation from adults for being the smartest, most accomplished girl in the room.

“Nice to meet you, Aneesa. Good luck with your freshman year.” Mom clears her throat. “I’m going to head out, Violet. Let me know if you need anything.”

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