Page 54 of Diving In

I really believed that I just needed to put this part of my life behind me and move forward with everything that I’d worked so hard to build,to plan.Everything except for Beau, because after I got off this island and back to New York, I had every intention of reaching out to him.

But for now, I was going to The Rogue Shallot to hopefully get a small sliver of closure, and then I was getting the hell off this island.

CHAPTER 20

Ian and I made small talk while I got ready. He talked about his job—naturally—and then he talked some more about his job. I stood in the bathroom quietly, applying my makeup without saying anything much more than the occasional “Yeah” or “Uh-huh.”

Considering we were broken up, it was completely delusional for Ian to come here, and every part of me wished he hadn’t. After my rejections and making it clear that we were never getting back together, he seemed back to normal now.

“I’m going to grab a glass of wine, do you want one?” I asked, interrupting him mid-sentence, standing there in nothing but a white lacy bra and a pair of jeans.

“It’s not even noon…” he said with a slightly judgmental tone.

“Shit. You’re right. My days have blurred together. In that case, I’m going to grab a Diet Coke. Want anything?”

“Nah, I’m good. I have my water from the plane,” he answered.

I grabbed a robe from behind the door and threw it on. Opening the bedroom door, the scent of grapefruit and a touch of cedarwood smacked me in the face. It smelled like summer and sadness… It smelled likeJack.

I was thankful when I saw Jack had Diet Coke in one of the fridges. I had learned the first day that Jack didn’t have just one fridge, but two. One in the kitchen and one in the pantry. The one in the pantry had been stocked full of every beverage you could ever want.

The Diet Coke was front and center. Jack always hated that I drank diet pop, saying that it wasdevil water.He always swore my insides were screaming for something natural. I, however, loved an ice-cold Diet Coke, believing there was simply nothing better.

I grabbed one and walked outside. The one thing I was going to miss about this place was the balcony. I could’ve gotten lost in the vastness of it all, the way it made me feel like maybe everything wasn’t as big of a deal as it seemed.

The view was something I’d wanted to take a mental picture of, so that’s exactly what I did. I took in every edge I could grasp from up here. The blues, hundreds of them, blending together to create the most perfect hues. Out there, the world seemed like a blank canvas, one just waiting to be captured.

I would’ve stayed longer, but the faintest knock came at the front door.

“What now? I’m over this shit,” I muttered under my breath, frustrated at the continuous interruptions to my plans.

I strolled to the front door with absolutely no guess as to what or who was waiting for me on the other side because honestly, nothing would surprise me at this point.

I grabbed the knob and twisted it, prepared for anything except his eyes on mine.

My heart dropped to the floor, beating outside of my body. His perfectly shaded blue eyes mimicked the color of the ocean I’d just been staring at. The same ones I had so gullibly gazed into that first day at the aquarium.

I rolled my eyes and slammed the door shut, but he shoved his foot out, stopping it in its tracks.“Wait. I need to talk to you before you leave,” Cal said.

His eyes drifted downward as he bit his bottom lip, and I gasped when I realized what he was looking at.

My white lacy bra stared back at me. It was on full display as the robe had loosened to the point of full exposure. I aggressively grabbed the robe and wrapped it tightly around my body, keeping a firm grasp on the silky material. I tried to hide everything, as if this man hadn’t just seen me at my most vulnerable mere hours ago.

“For what? So you can try and explain to me how, even after you experienced firsthand what a shitty human she was all those years ago—and from what I’ve seen, still is… Even after all of that, you somehow still ended up withBlair,” I finished on a cry, feeling the hurt clawing its way up from the bottom of my stomach and threatening to expose itself.

I kept going though, because if this was going to be the last time I saw this man, I needed to get it all out there. All the ugly emotions and the anger that I now harbored toward him.

“Andnot only did you let me sleep with you without divulging that information, you also had me second-guessing my entire life. Everything that I have so carefully and strategically planned out since the moment I left this island fourteen years ago. Just for the smallest second, I thought maybe I had made a mistake with everything and everyoneback in New York. Thank god I realized that wasn’t true. You’ve shown me that everything has been a fucking joke to you, thatyouwere nothing but a joke,” I said, watching as my words shot daggers straight for Cal.

I hadn’t meant to come off so cruel, but he’d hurt me, and I couldn’t help how I felt.

He glared at me with what looked like defeat. “That’s the thing with you, Georgia. You’ve planned your whole life out as though it’s some sort of event you’re putting together for someone else to enjoy. The fact that your future and the word strategically are paired together in the same sentence is your problem. You’re wound so damn tight that you’ve never allowed yourself to have any fun, to enjoy the little things, the spontaneous ones,” he told me, his words hitting home more than I’d ever admit.

Defensive, I started again, “Cal, you don’t get—”

“And let me tell you,” he cut me off. “Those moments, the ones that I haven’t planned, have been some of the best fucking ones of my life. Take, for example, you coming back here. I neverplanned on it being you walking through those aquarium doors, but damn was I glad when you did. And while you’re busy making sure the next piece of your puzzle is falling into place, you miss out on all the other pieces that are floating around you, just waiting to be welcomed into your life.”

I wasn’t sure what to say, or even if he was done talking. I wasn’t sure where this was coming from considering he’d never talked to me like this before, but I wasn’t about to be the one to break the silence.

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