Page 47 of Diving In

Those words broke my heart. “I would’ve stood right by him every single second of the journey, no matter what that looked like.”

“He knew that. He just wanted you to be proud of him, so I think he needed some time to process the whole thing before making you process it too, especially at fourteen years old.”

“I’ve always been proud of him.” I sighed. “When did she get pregnant? Like what summer?”

“Two summers after that, in 2008. They were both seventeen and fucking torn about what to do next.” His voice trailed off before continuing, “I encouraged Fletch to tell your parents, but he never did. He kept claiming that he didn’t want to put anything like this on their plate until him and Lauren could work through it and make a plan themselves. I begged him, telling him that Lauren being pregnant wasn’t going away. Her parents tried like hell to persuade her into not keeping the baby, but both Lauren and Fletch had already made up their minds. Beau was born just a couple months after Fletcher died,” he huffed out, clearly getting upset at reliving those days.

So many questions rummaged through my brain.Who are Lauren’s parents? Where is Lauren now? Who took care of Beau?

I laid there, not knowing which question to ask first, still working through all this life-altering information. I continued to play with Cal’s hands, a last-ditch effort at reassuring myself that everything was going to be okay despite the hell swirling around us.

“I know you have a million questions, but let’s just be for a few minutes. You deserve to have some time to yourself when you’re not completely submerged in all the other shit going on around you.”

I snuggled up closer to him and rested my head on his chest, doing my best tojust be. At some point, I dozed off, and the next thing I knew I was being awoken by Cal moving around.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. That might be the most peaceful I’ve ever seen you,” he teased, giving me a small smile. “I completely forgot I had something for you.” He fumbled around in the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a white envelope.

Another letter.

My face must have shown my unease because he quickly explained, “I was supposed to give this to you at the aquarium after the birthday party, but clearly things didn’t go as planned there. Then I wanted to hand-deliver this letter to you at Jack’s, but things got messy there too, and I forgot.” He looked just sheepish and apologetic enough to make me forgive him for bringing this up right now.

He handed me the letter, Georgiadecorating the front in Jack’s handwriting.

“I’m going to let you read the letter by yourself in your own time, but let me know if—”

I grabbed his arm as he was getting up from the bed and cut him off before he could finish. “Please stay. I don’t know what’s in this letter, but I don’t want to be alone when I find out.”

He didn’t say anything. Instead, without a second thought, he climbed back into the bed and positioned himself behind me, cradling me against his chest.

I pulled the blankets over us before opening the envelope. I paused, closed my eyes, and took a few deep breaths.

Cal could obviously feel my anxiety taking over, and he held on to me a little tighter. “I’ve got you,” he whispered.

I shivered, those words more familiar than last time but still not able to remember exactly why.

Holding on to the strength offered by his words, I took one final inhale and opened the letter.

CHAPTER 18

Dear Georgia,

If you’re reading this letter, that means you’re still on the island, which is already so much more than you realize. I wonder how your aquarium visit went. If I know you as well as I think I do, you probably at least attempted getting in the water, simply to spite me. Am I right?

I winced a little as I thought back to the aquarium, and also at the fact that he was 1000% correct.

No matter how far you got, I’m proud of you. Water is terrifying for you, I get that. But I promise you, if you give it a chance, you’ll learn to see why Fletch and I loved it so damn much. You’ll learn to appreciate the wild, erratic, unpredictable characteristics that the water carries with her. She’s fierce, unapologetic, and naturally dominating. In fact, she reminds me of someone else I know.

You.

Georgia, I’ll never be able to redo the past, I’ll never be able to bring back Fletcher, and I’ll never be able to be a dad to you, and for that, I’m truly sorry. I should’ve learned the first time around that life’s too short, but I was too stubborn to see it, so I pushed away everything and everyone that loved me.

As I write this, I’m sitting on my balcony that overlooks the ocean. It’s the most spectacular view you’ll find on the island, but what is a spectacular view if you have no one to share it with? I find myself living in a house that’s too big for me, working a job that I once dreamed about, walking the streets of this dreamy island, and yet even with all of that, I miss the important things. Actually, just one thing. My family.

My biggest regret is not coming after you two. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that that is my biggest mistake, and now it’s too late. But I need you to understand that at the time, I couldn’t leave. Selfishly, I had to be here on this island—with or without you and your mom. It was the only way I could cope with Fletch being gone, allowing me to feel closer to him. I’d planned on working on myself, on healing and becoming a better father and husband, before coming after the two of you, but then I found out about Fletcher’s son, Beau.

Of course, I desperately wanted to tell you and your mother about Beau, but I respected his mother’s wishes. Lauren insisted on waiting until Beau was older to let him decide if he wanted to be part of our family or not, but when she found out I was sick, she gave me permission to mention Beau in my letters to you. She even offered to share her contact information with you. You’ll find it in the stack of papers I left for you at the aquarium.

Beau’s fifteen, he and his mother live in Boston, but he’s been spending his summers on Sullivan’s Island since he was ten. Georgia, he’s truly magnificent, just like Fletch. He’s brave and kind, smart and funny, and he’s very fond of the ocean. Shocking, I know. But he’s growing up to be quite the young man, and I hope you’ll get to meet him one day and experience that for yourself.

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