Page 61 of Diving In

I knew once you came back, you’d fall in love all over again, because there is just something so damn special about this island. And no matter what you say, Georgia, you needed to come back here. Not for me, not for Fletcher, but for you. You deserve closure, and I’m hoping that these letters can bring you that.

This is the last letter I’ll leave you.

Always remember, I’ll love you forever, way past heaven.

Jack

My hands trembled as I folded the letter back up, tears staining my face as they trickled down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away and placed the letter neatly back into the envelope before sticking it in my purse. I grabbed my water, again trying to pull myself together before our waitress or, even worse, Ian made their way back to the table. Spotting Ian emerging from the bathroom, I had maybe ten seconds to get my shit together.

Then again, why did I feel like I needed to hide this from him? Jack had just died, I’d just read his final goodbye, and my whole world had been catapulted off its orbit within the last three days. Yet it still seemed easier to pretend like I was okay as opposed to trying to explain this all to him.

“G?” Ian asked as he approached the table.

If I wasn’t distant before, I sure as shit would be now.

My entire body was feeling so many sensations, but I was desperately trying to feel nothing at all. My head hurt, my body hurt, and worst of all, my heart hurt.

I had spent so much time hating Jack. I hated him for taking Fletcher on that dive, hated him for not doing enough to save him, even though I had no idea what actually happened that day. And really, I’d hated him for so much that was out of his control. If his letter was anything to go by, he lived with so much regret that he couldn’t even face my mom or me.

And instead of thinking maybe he needed us, needed support, I’d stupidly assumed that he wasn’t reaching out to us because he didn’t want us to reach out to him. He didn’t want to be checked on.

That sounded absolutely ridiculous now. Sometimes the ones that need to be checked on most are the ones that never say so.

Now that he was gone, I saw it all so clearly.

I saw him for who he really was, andI missed him.

“I miss you.” The words left my lips in a whisper before I could stop them, a dam of emotion threatening to overflow.

“Huh?” I heard Ian ask, realizing I’d said the words out loud.

As I stared at Ian, all I wanted to do was call Cal.

I wanted to feel his arms around me, to feel his safe embrace consuming me as I cried, gripping me tighter as the tears fell, reassuring me that everything was going to be okay. I wanted to call him and apologize. To tell him I fucked up and that I needed him to know how sorry I was. But really, I selfishly just needed to hear his voice again.

It was almost scary how fast I was able to bury my emotions even on the cusp of a complete breakdown. I numbed the pain, simply so I wouldn’t make anyone else feel uncomfortable.

Responding to Ian’s earlier question, I lied, “Yeah. Just ready to get off this island. Our waitress should be back with our check shortly.”

“There’s my G. I knew you’d come around and be ready to get back to the city.” He smiled, pleased with himself.

I couldn’t even be bothered to return his grin, the knot in my stomach squeezing harder, making me nauseous.

“Here you go!” the waitress said as she handed Ian the check. He immediately handed over his credit card, clearly ready to leave. “I’ll be right back,” she acknowledged.

Ian’s phone pinged for the fifth time since sitting down.

“Everything okay?”

“Just work stuff. You know the ridiculous demands of my clients. I don’t get any time off,” he responded.

“Right. Work stuff, should’ve known,” I said.

His body relaxed as he slouched in his chair and chuckled. “Speaking of, I can’t wait to fill you in on my latest client. C-list celebrity that got herself in some trouble and has offered us practically everything, including herself, to get her out of it. She’s so desperate, it’s pathetic.”

I rolled my eyes, genuinely unsure why he would think I’d care about that. As if I wasn’t dealing with any worries of my own that he obviously couldn’t care less about.

“Thank you both! I hope to see you back here soon,” she exclaimed.

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