Page 8 of One More Time

His eyes meet mine, and he nods.

“Hi,” he says, his deep voice making something inside of me flutter.

I squash it and nod back. “Hello.”

His lips twitch, and I shuffle on my feet, just now realizing that I’ve just said hello twice. I feel my cheeks heat, and I sigh.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, and he shrugs.

“They have good beer. What are you doing here?” He cocks an eyebrow at me, and I let out a loud, forced laugh.

“Oh, um, it’s not what you think. I’m not gay. I’m here for my friend, Ollie.”

As if conjuring him from the crowd, he hops up next to me and places his arm around my shoulder. His drink is bright purple, and I eye it. I swear, I don’t know how he manages to find the brightest drinks on the planet, but that looks radioactive.

“Have you found it yet? A big dick to suck?” Ollie asks and then smacks a kiss to my cheek. It’s a slobbery kiss, and I swipe at my skin as my face goes positively molten.

“Jesus, Ollie,” I murmur as I peek over at Alec whose eyebrows are now raised entirely. The words hang between us as a pretty twink in a crop top and tight pants sashays up to Alec and slides his arm around his waist.

“What is this about sucking dick? I heard it from all the way over there and had to come see what was going on.”

Ollie leans forward and explains, “Oh, Jude has this hobby where he sucks dick. He says it helps with his inner chi. Like a meditation of sorts.”

I scoff a laugh, pretending like Ollie is shitting them, but no one takes me seriously. The twink’s eyebrows rise as he stares at me.

“Is that so? A blow job hobby?” He’s skinny with white-blond hair and sparkling, glittery eyelids, and his face looks almost scathing. Like he’s mocking me.

Which is fair. It’s not a normal hobby to have, but then again, what is? Sometimes hobbies are unconventional. It’s a thing. I like unconventional.

An unconventional hobbyist.

“I’m not gay. I mean, I have nothing against gay people. I’m just not. It’s just something I like to do.”

My words hang between us for a moment, and then the twink starts to laugh, a pretty tinkling sound. Something I’d envision a fairy to make.

I stare at him and then swivel my gaze to Alec. He brings his beer bottle up to his lips and takes a slow sip. I watch his Adam’s apple work and feel those flutters inside of me intensify. This feels like more than dick-sucking to me, and I don’t like it.

Not one bit.

“Well, if you like sucking dick so much, maybe you should suck ours,” the twink says.

He’s eyeing me, his proposition hanging in the air between us.

I shift on my feet.

“I have particular dicks I like to go for,” I say, realizing as soon as I say it, how ridiculous it sounds. But I can’t take it back now. It’s out there. “I mean, I have standards.”

The twink straightens and looks slightly offended.

“And what’s wrong with my dick? I assure you, it’s perfectly fine.”

I glance down at his crotch and shake my head. “I’m not interested.”

He huffs and then nudges Alec. “And what about this guy? His dick good?”

Alec’s beer bottle lowers a bit and he cocks his head at me, almost like he’s examining me. What am I supposed to say? That yes, his dick looks like perfection, just the thing I need to center myself. A nice big one to choke on and slobber all over.But for some reason, I can’t admit it. For some reason, this feels different.

I shouldn’t suck his dick. I don’t think it would help me find my chi. I think it would rearrange me entirely. And I don’t want to be rearranged, I want to be just how I am. Thank you very much.

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