Page 11 of Brutal Secrets

“It’s hardly the fucking same!” I shout before taking a drink from my water bottle. Even as I gulp it down, my throat remains dry, and every swallow feels like knives cutting into my throat,severing my ability to breathe. “It’s called a fucking conscience,” I spit out in Rage’s direction.

He takes a menacing step forward, his dark stare murderous as he pumps his fists beside him. “You don’t think I have a conscience?” Every one of his dark tattoos make him seem all the more deadly. They wrap around his body tauntingly, as if bleeding with vengeance for his pain.

“Calm fucking down.” Lucas huffs as if we’re petulant children, gets to his feet, and moves to stand beside Rage, almost as if ready to separate us.

The simmering fury rolls off Rage in waves, and the heat penetrating the air leaves behind a burning tension with a promise of violence.

“I have a fucking conscience. Every damn day I tell myself I should have seen, should have done more to stop that sick fuck. Then I upped and left her there”—he pokes his chest in anger—“left her to be fucking raped by him!” His voice ricochets off the walls of our home gym, and I silently thank Lucas for insisting it being soundproofed.

“I left her there, Cole.” His voice is low and gritty as if he’s struggling to hold himself together. “I knew he was capable of pain, but I never thought that.” He shakes his head. “I swear I never thought that.” His eyes meet mine, and the unshed tears in them make my heart stutter. “To be raped by a monster while she probably cried for me. Have you any idea how bad that makes me feel? Do you? It guts me. It makes me feel un-fucking-deserving of her love.”

I wince at his words, the unyielding, heartfelt sincerity behind them and the trauma they’ve both endured, and now I can’t help but want to make things right for him too.

“Don’t give me those sympathetic puppy-dog eyes you give Thalia.” He mocks. “I don’t need your fucking sympathy, Cole.” Malice oozes from him.

I swallow past the lump in my throat, unable to comprehend how he must be feeling. Inside, I know I’d be dying; I’d drown in the guilt that haunts him.

“Stop being a goddamn dick,” Lucas grits out. “Both of you, keep your head in the fucking game. We’re protecting Tia and our girls. This is all for Tia and our girls.” He spreads his arms out for emphasis.

Taking a deep breath, I step back, letting the tension slip away, then I sit on the edge of the bench press. “I think we should tell her,” I admit, even though I know they’ll deny me. “About the Lancasters, I mean.” We should tell her about us discovering she has a sister too, a whole fucking family that exists without either of their knowledge. Something Tia has craved for forever.

Worry gnaws away at me. She will hate that we kept this from her. What if she hates me? Us?

Rage scoffs. “Of course you fucking do.” He shakes his head. “Always the fucking hero,” he spits out with venom. “No, we don’t tell her shit. She’s had enough trauma; I don’t want her worrying anymore.” He brushes a hand over his messy hair. “Thalia’s had enough worry to last her a lifetime. It’s our job to protect her. Our fucking job to keep her safe, her and our girls.” His teeth grind, reminding me he’s angry, probably at the fact he didn’t protect her, but it’s not like it’s his fault, he couldn’t have done anything. He wasn’t even there when she was hurt.

My mind won’t stop creating conclusions of how Tia will feel if she ever finds out she has a family and we kept it from her. I swallow back my nerves. “I think we should tell her about—”

“No,” Lucas snaps, and I jolt at the bite in his tone. Then his shoulders deflate when his eyes meet mine, as if witnessing the hurt behind them. “Think with your head, not your heart, Cole. Bren O’Connell holds all the cards here. If he doesn’t want hiswife to have a relationship with Tia, there’s nothing we can do about it, and Tia will be heartbroken. Do you want that?”

My heart races, and my lips part to answer, to tell him that’s not what I want, but nothing comes out, because I know he’s right. Even if it doesn’t feel like the right thing to do.

“We need Bren on our side. He knows people who can help us get rid of the Lancasters, and that’s what’s important right now. We don’t want to make enemies. We need them as allies, and if that means abiding by Bren’s rules, then so be it.” Lucas reiterates what I already know.

“So, we don’t tell her. Are we in agreement?” Jace’s eyes are alight with retribution, he stands to his full height, and the darkness surrounding him makes me worry he’s slipping. He’s becoming the man we knew him to be, he’s becoming Rage.

“Agreed,” Lucas responds with a controlled ease.

My eyes flick back and forth between my brothers, and they watch me with expectancy as an underlying threat looms between us. Them against me.

When we should all stand together, be the family we were destined to be, I feel like this is tearing us apart, and I refuse to let it.

My heart hammers, and my mouth becomes painfully dry again.

“Agreed.” The word tastes like acid on my tongue, as it slips from my mouth reluctantly, and dread pools in my stomach at how we’re deceiving the girl we love.

The tension falls from Lucas’s shoulders while Jace’s lips tip up into a smile he normally reserves for Tia and the girls. “Good. I’m going to steal my girl from your bed.” He winks, turning on his heel, then saunters out the door as if the conversation never happened, taking the anger and threat of violence with him.

My eyes draw up to meet Lucas’s, and his bore down on me with such intensity I can’t help the words that spill from my lips.

“Secrets can destroy people, Lucas. They can rip through your heart and brutally devastate everyone involved. Keeping them hidden, we’re creating lies. And everyone knows there’s a fine line between secrets and lies. There’s a storm brewing, Lucas, and when it’s all unveiled, everything we built is going to be threatened and destroyed. I just hope we’re ready.” I drag a nervous hand over my head. “Something tells me we never will be.”

I stand while Lucas remains frozen on the spot, his face pale. Ignoring him, I bend down and lift my gym bag off the floor.

Agreeing to lie to our girl sits heavily inside me as I walk toward the door.

“Cole?”

I turn my head over my shoulder to face my brother, but his back is to me.

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