Page 10 of Before the Chaos

“Yeah. Why don’t you do that?” I challenge her.

She presses her lips gently to my shoulder through my shirt, but then her lashes lift and her gaze moves back to me. I slip my fingers under her chin and tilt her jaw back up to me, my thumb running over her lower lip before I kiss her again. She melts under it, like she’s done proving something and instead just wants the taste of me because she likes it. Her fingers exploring again while I try to figure out how the hell this is so good.

We stay locked like that for several moments, me fighting every urge I have to let my hands wander lower or press her back up against a tree and pull her T-shirt off. Reminding myself that she’s not in this for me and I probably shouldn’t be enjoying this. But I want more of her. When the temptation gets too strong I pull away and her dazed expression makes it hard to hold her gaze.

“So you’ll help?” she asks as she stands there watching me.

“I’ll help.” I agree, knowing full well I’m dooming myself because any taste of this girl just leaves me wanting more.

“Good. Then let’s get back.” She hurries down the trail ahead of me and I’m left wondering how I’m gonna keep up with her and keep this all on the tracks. Or if I even want to.

5

Madison

I’m sittingwith Quentin on the lower bunk watching TV in our room. Xander, Daniel, Shelby, and Tobias have gone out for the night and Quentin has stayed in, claiming he’s still exhausted from the hike we took earlier today. I’m half-hoping it’s because of me though. The way he’d kissed me in the woods certainly felt like it was about more than just letting me use him as a testing ground. The way he looked at me was like he saw something he liked. He and that kiss are all I’ve been able to think about today.

Tonight started as the two of us just deciding we couldn’t fall asleep and him offering to watch some TV together. But now we’re sitting on a bed together, almost touching, and I can’t stop my mind from drifting to sex. We’ve been watching some sort of drama on TV that I picked based on about two seconds of the preview. A choice I regret when the second sex scene of the episode starts up and I have to fight the urge to jump up and claim I need a refill to get away from it. The tension in the room is thick. Like it has a life of its own and I can’t take much more of it. If I’m thinking about sex, there’s no way he isn’t.

He finally breaks the silence and confirms my suspicions.

“Do you touch yourself?”

“What?” The word catches in my throat, and I nearly choke on the sip of the pop I’ve just taken when he does.

I feel the heat rising to my cheeks and panic starting to swell in my chest. I can’t have conversations about touching myself with Quentin Undergrove. Him fucking away my V-card in the dark while I panic about whether or not I’m doing all the right things? Maybe. But anything beyond that seems impossible.

“It’s fine if you do. Honestly, it’s sexy as fuck if you do. You don’t need to be embarrassed.”

“I’m not embarrassed,” I lie. “I just don’t know why you’re asking.”

“Just asking to see where you are with all of this experience wise. How well you know what you like. Sex is more enjoyable if you get off doing it. Everyone needs something a little different to come. If you know your body well enough to tell him, or better yet to show him… It’ll make it easier for him to do what you need.” His eyes flash to the couple having oral sex on the screen and then back to me.

“I’m not having sex to get off.”

He gives me an incredulous look. “Then why?”

“Because I want to get it out of the way before I go overseas and because I’ve always had a crush on him.”

Quentin pinches the bridge of his nose and blinks.

“Get it out of the way for what purpose?”

“So I can have sex with whatever guy I want overseas without having to explain it’s my first time.”

“And then you’ll worry about getting off?”

“I don’t know. Do you think foreign guys are better than Americans?”

He laughs and shakes his head. “I think—as I said already—if you don’t know how to get yourself off, you’re not going to be able to help him get you there.”

“Maybe he’s just good enough to get me there. There are guys like that. Lana and Lo both said their first times were amazing. And Lana said she met a guy in Italy who could get her off barely touching her.”

“Well… Then they’re fucking lucky.” He gives me a skeptical look.

“You would know? Because you’ve fucked that many virgins?”

“I would know because I have women who are friends who talk about their experiences.”

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