And we certainly weren’t going to discuss it now.
“I drank, ate, watched TV—all things you’d suspect I’d do when being alone in a hotel room.”
“But it was Christmas,” Rhett said.
I moved in my seat, unsure why he was still on the topic. “So?”
“So, you didn’t go down to the bar and hang with the guests? Or find yourself someone to cozy up to?”
“Cozy up to?” I looked at Ridge for help, but he was just smiling. “What does that even mean?”
Except I knew what it meant. I just couldn’t believe my brother was asking.
Just because he was an open book when it came to this part of his life didn’t mean that I was.
But when it came to the two of them, nothing was off-limits. They would always ask. Whether I replied was an entirely different thing.
“Come on, Rowan. Don’t play coy.” He leaned back in his chair. “I know what the hell I’d do if I was stranded at a hotel for that long with nothing but time and booze on my hands.”
“We all know what you’d do,” I responded. “But we all know that I’m not you.”
I wasn’t him. I didn’t sleep around. I didn’t have one-night stands.
I had relationships, searching for this thing called love that I’d never felt before.
Still, it pinched to say those words.
Because in Lake Louise, I had been him.
I’d taken Cooper back to my room, knowing that the moment I checked out of the hotel, I’d also be checking out of his life.
That was something Rhett would do.
I hated myself for that.
And I hated myself even more for allowing it to happen because since I’d left Lake Louise, there was a feeling inside me that I couldn’t shake.
A pulse that vibrated throughout my entire body.
A beat in my chest that quickened every time I thought of Cooper.
And I found myself constantly thinking of him.
What that did was cause a nagging, burning question to come over me.
To haunt me.
To make me repeat, multiple times through the day and night, the same words over and over.
If Cooper weren’t a Spade, would he be the man I fell in love with?
“So, you’re going to tell me you didn’t do shit the whole time you were there besides look at the property and work?” Rhett said. “You were a total angel?” His eyelids narrowed as he looked at me.
I wasn’t the only one who could read the eyes of my siblings.
They could also do the same to me.
And just as I started to say, “Yes?—”