Page 51 of Bloody Tainted Lies

“Tell me one, then,” he replies. “One of yours.”

Maybe I should tell him something light, but I want him to know how much he’s ruined me and my life. I want him to feel something, I just don’t know what. “I want to die.” I exhale loudly, and he stiffens but doesn’t get off me. “Every time I think of my brother on the ground with a hole in his stomach, I want to die.”

I gaze into his eyes, only to find tears in them as he looks away. “I’m sorry,” he chokes out, his voice cracking on the last word.

Instead of pretending that I don’t know, I let him bury his face in the crook of my neck, feeling his hot tears on my skin, and comfort him. I comfort him when it should be the other way around. However, I can’t deny that it’s clear he feels guilty. Now I don’t want him to live like that. For whatever twisted reason, I don’t want him to feel guilty for the rest of his life.

My head shakes of its own accord, and he chokes on a sob.

I don’t forgive him, and he knows it.

I wonder if he knows I know now. If he suspects what this was all about. But I don’t care anymore. Let him wallow in self-pity.

Leo has been in an awfully good mood since the engagement party. If he only knew what I did in the bridal suite while he entertained our guests, he’d kill me with his bare hands. I just know it. Or maybe not, since he wants his revenge.

I can’t deny that may have been the most thrilling, wildest, and careless shit I’ve ever done. Having sex with the man I’m supposed to hate—that deep down in the marrow of my bones, I do a little bit—right where Leo and my parents could’ve heard me or walked in on me. I’m shocked no one did, considering I left the door unlocked. There I was, naked as the day I was born, well almost anyway, and no one caught me. Surprisingly, Leo didn’t come looking for me after taking that long, and now it makes me wonder if he knew Nikolai was there.

Either way, this is over. Nikolai and I are done. I won’t be having sex with him again, and I also don’t want to help Leo by deceiving him anymore. It’s eating me alive, rotting me until my insides are falling out. Nikolai will see right through me eventually, and he might be the one to kill me just like he did my brother if he finds out I’ve betrayed him. He doesn’t just let people in. I’ve known that for years on end. I need to find a way to tell Leo, and I guess there’s no time like the present.

I bring my fork to my mouth, tasting my eggs benedict, and moan in pleasure from how good it tastes. Leo smirks at me and I just smile, looking around the private dining area he reserved at one of the most expensive restaurants in town. If he only was aware of what I was about to dump on him, he wouldn’t have gone through all this trouble.

“You’re making me want to eatyoufor breakfast.”

“I bet.” I smile even though it’s fake. “But not today, I’m on my monthly.”

I’m not, but I don’t want him anywhere near my pussy. To be honest, I don’t know when it happened but I suddenly want no one except for Nik. This is highly inconvenient, considering I won’t be fucking him anymore, but I can’t help it that I remember him eating me out on that stage. It felt like a different type of performance, yet a performance nonetheless.

“You good?” Leo asks, taking another bite of his food. His light brown eyes crinkle in the corners with a small smile and his straight nose flares with impatience. He’s actually really handsome, in fact, one of the most handsome men I’ve ever met. With his light brown hair, honey-brown eyes, and muscular build, he could have any woman he wanted. Just not me.

“Yeah,” I tell him, pushing my food forward and dabbing my lips with a napkin. “Uh, we need to talk.”

He looks between the plate of food and my face then decides to stop eating too. His features morph slightly to that of annoyance, and it momentarily scares me, but then I take a deep breath when he gestures to get on with it.

“I can’t help you anymore,” I tell him with the bravest voice I can muster. “Deceiving him is getting harder by the minute. It’s too stressful, Leo.”

“So fucking unstress yourself,” he replies with a sneer. “Dance or something, you know what helps you. Do some coke or whatever.”

“Excuse me?”

“We know, you and I.” He gestures between us. “That you have a problem.”

He’s such anasshole.

That hits me right where it hurts, but I won’t let him talk shit right now. “This isn’t about my drugs, Leo. This is about the fact that it feels wrong to lie to him, whether he killed my brother or not. He’s on the verge of figuring it out; he just wants more and more from me.”

“That’s a good thing, Camilla. It means we almost have him.” He seems on edge right now, like he could snap my neck for breathing wrong in his direction. “Youwillcontinue to see Nikolai Pavlov.”

“It’s not good for me, only for you. I know you don’t give a shit about me, but he’s going to kill me when he finds out what I’ve done.”

“Not if I kill him first,tesoro mio.” I’m beginning to hate that stupid nickname. “And trust me, I will. As for you, sweetheart, I do give a shit. You’re my wife.”

“I will be.” I snort, “Just not yet.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Yeah, we will. I refuse. I won’t just surrender myself to him, to the fate that awaits me. I’ll have to be dragged kicking and screaming toward it.

“Like I said, Leo. I’m no longer helping you, so you have to understand that and just come to terms with it however you need to.”

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