Page 42 of Bloody Tainted Lies

“Good.”

He doesn’t even acknowledge me again before turning around and walking out of the office, leaving me hollow and confused. Ever since what happened with my mother, I’ve hated him. Hated who he is as a person, and he’s known it. When she died, he didn’t comfort me. It was as if he didn’t give a fuck. He didn’t give a fuck about me, either.

And I still hate him.

I always will.

He took something precious from me, and he can’t give it back. Now, all I have left are the memories that haunt me. Not bad memories, although they still hurt.

The drive home is short. Thankfully, we have a house all to ourselves—the members ofD’yavoly—and I park where I usually do. It’s almost five in the morning, and I have to wake up early to attend class. Or more like not sleep at this point. I can’t just skip when I’m in my last year of pre-med.

The guys are eating breakfast already; they won’t go to bed until at least six a.m. They are lucky they only have afternoon classes. Must be nice.

Ilya looks up from his pancakes, “There’s more where these came from if you want them.”

“Rough night?” Dmitri asks with a snicker.

“You could say that,” I reply as I grab myself some pancakes and syrup, then sit across from them at the white marble kitchen island. It’s kind of weird being in their orbit sometimes. They’re a ball of tension, never knowing what they want but also not letting each other move on. They’ve been playing this game for years, and Ilya has that Italian girl pining after him. He entertains her and Dmitri is pissed about it.

“Saw your girl today,” Ilya tells me and my muscles involuntarily stiffen.

My temperature spikes as well, but I force myself to relax. “She’s not my girl, just a means to an end.” Even still, I’m hot all over just thinking of him talking to her.

“She asked for you, or about you, I guess,” he replies, taking another bite of his food.

“Oh?” I raise an eyebrow at him, suddenly feeling excited about the response. “And what did you say?”

“That I don’t know shit about where you are.”

She asked where I was. I don’t know if I should feel worried or glad. I’m feelingsomething. I just can’t pinpoint what the tightening in my chest means. Probably anger at Ilya.

“I heard her tell Annie that she misses you,” Dmitri says and I narrow my eyes at him.

“Why are you always lying to my face like that?” I ask. I know for a damn fact she didn’t say that.

“He’s not lying,” Ilya interrupts. “Although shewasdrunk.”

Well, fuck me.

Now I need to go see her; I can’t help myself. Will she be home? Or at the studio already? Probably the latter considering she has morning classes. Yeah, I’ve made it my mission to memorize her schedule in the last week. Between me watching her, the tracker on her car, and getting her school schedule from the administration who knows me, I’ve always known where she is at all times. She’s made it easy, my princess, always so predictable.

Camilla goes to the studio early in the mornings, in fact she’s there right now, then she goes to school all day for dance as well. Once done with school, she goes back to the house to study. I’m assuming. Especially since Leo visits her every day, and I can’t even imagine what they do in that time. I don’t want to. It’s not like we’re anything, so she probably is fucking him. Soon, however, she will know she won’t be fucking anyone butme. She won’t breathe for anyone butme, come for anyone butme, or cry for anyone butme.

“Well, this was eventful,” I tell them as I finish my breakfast. “I gotta get my shit and go to class.”

“It’s five in the morning,” Dmitri answers dryly.

“I never said when I was going to class.”

Ilya smirks, knowing me too damn well. My plan is no secret between us, so they know what I’m trying to do by pursuing her. The only difference is they don’t understand how deep I’m going down this rabbit hole.

I forced myself to stay away from her for a week for several reasons. One, I’m too vulnerable. All the feelings I thought I tucked away all those years ago are rushing back to the surface, and it’s scaring me. Two, I’m getting a little too obsessed with when I’m going to see her next, when she’s going to look at me with her gorgeous hazel eyes, and when she’s going to make those breathy little noises for me again when I fuck her with my fingers. It’s all very inconvenient, and I don’t want to discover how deep my obsession is going. Because my love for her already runs way too deep.

I look at my watch and see that I have about twenty minutes to get out of this house if I want to make it to the studio in time for Camilla to be done, so I jump in the hot shower quickly to wash off the blood and nastiness of last night and this morning.

The unique thing about this place is that it doesn’t resemble a regular frat house. It’s modern, relatively pretty, and has amenities you wouldn’t find in any other house here. Like every room having its own bathroom. Thankfully, only ten of us live here, and only five of us are close with each other. Ilya, Dmitri, Semyon, and Viktor, along with me; we’re a team, a unit, friends. I still have a secret apartment where I stay, usually on the weekends since it’s not next to campus, which not even my friends know the location of. That’s because it’s small and within walking distance from the private beach I took Camilla to. I go there to relax, decompress, and be alone.

It’s my safe place.

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