Page 32 of You Are Not Me

I shifted uncomfortably. “I consented.”

“You were drunk and high.” Barry’s tone brooked no argument.

“Well, that cutie-pie Walden Schultz dated him a while back. Apparently, it’s Jeremy’s thing to suck all the new guys,” Robert said. “But I doubt Jeremy’s into coercion. Have you seen him? I mean, who’d say no to a face like that?”

I flashed back to the moment when Jeremy had added the drug to my drink. Happy grin, sparkling blue eyes, glossy dark hair hanging in ringlets on his forehead. He hadn’t seemed coercive at all. Sure, I was pretty drunk, but he probably thought I knew what he was offering. Or maybehewas so drunk, he hadn’t realized he wasn’t being clear.

I sure felt coerced now, though. I was an idiot. Barry was right. Iwasnaïve and completely unable to function in the world. I couldn’t be trusted on my own.

I dropped my head to the table and let it bang softly.

“Now, now, Sweetie. It’s all right.” Robert rubbed my shoulder. “Listen, I know you’re beating yourself up this morning, and obviously you were lucky Barry and Daniel found you last night before things got worse—”

Oh fuck. That’s right. Daniel saw me like that. It was bad enough that he’d seen me vomit and then babysat me while I’d sobered up, but to have witnessed whatever happened in the alcove?

I recalled what he’d told me about Minty that night on the Hill—he wasn’t his typeat all. Was it because of the drugs? Or the reckless sex? Was I now in Minty’s category when it came to Daniel?

I didn’t remember anything between the last blow job and Barry dragging me through the club. But knowing Daniel had found me doing who-knew-what sent fresh waves of sticky humiliation through me.

Robert was still talking. “So, yes, Sweetie, you need to take a lesson from all of this.”

“Agreed.” Barry’s voice was deadly serious.

“Don’t get me wrong, you shouldn’t beat yourself up for having a good time.Orfor finding out that you’re a sexy little bitch! And definitely not for getting a blow job or two, because that’s what life’s about!”

“Your life, maybe,” Barry muttered.

Robert flashed Barry a sharp look then continued, “I’m serious, angel. So what? You got a few blow jobs? Who doesn’t?”

“Me,” I said. “I don’t.”

“Well, obviously, that isn’t true.” Robert waved his hand like a magician. “Because you got some!”

I sighed and closed my eyes.

“Well,” Barry said. “This has been a heartwarming session of Life Lessons hosted by Robert Michaels. But what I want to know is this—haveyou learned your lesson, Peter?”

“Yes,” I whispered.

“And that lesson is what?”

“Don’t do drugs.”

“Are you sure it’s not ‘anonymous blow jobs while high on unknown substances are awesome?’” Barry asked.

“Yes. I’m sure.”

Robert sipped his coffee solemnly and didn’t argue.

“Excellent. Now we’re getting somewhere,” Barry said. “And do you know why?”

“It’s not safe.”

“Right. You can’t just trust people, Peter. You’ve got to be smarter than that. I don’t want anything bad happening to you. Got it?”

“Yeah.”

Robert squeezed my shoulder again.

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